Life - some questions!!

Dear Razzy. I nearly skipped your question. I like to say to myself "this is just too light-hearted..." But the truth for me is the opposite. It is far too heavy hearted. I don't like facing up to it. So, taking a deep breath and saying exactly what pours out straight away, here goes:

1. greatest achievement? Managing on my own after husband's suicide - having to move house, keep the lives of my 3 incredible children going, keep working, and finish a degree in which I got First Class Hons with First Class marks in all my exams.

2. non-kid achievement? :-) See above and take the children out of the scenario!

3. most regret? Marrying the cruel ba++ard and throwing away my life to live in the deepest pits of misery and the kind of cruel torture only others who have been through it can truly understand because you have to pretend to the world that everything is ok.

4. done earlier? should have left the cruel ba++ard long before and tried to claim a proper life for myself and the children. A life free from fear and before the children started to think his nasty, snide and sarcastic "humour" was a normal way to talk about their mother.......

My adult children are first last and everything. I have an extreme story of professional middle class background which I recreated in adulthood where is under the surface there was violence, secrets and lies childhood and adulthood too.

I finally managed to leave and we went through the fires of hell with the aftermath going through the whole system of this country inc the social services and their agencies.

We came out with my family of 4 youngsters intact. An unheard of feat in England. The system is needed but the system doesn't work.

That will always stand to be my biggest achievement. You would have to have gone through it to get it.

Non children connected would be being able to develop the freelance holistic recover services I do. This is all linked to our history and is emotional and inner life whilst helping to sort out practical difficulties too with people with chaotic/difficult lives helping to empower them

Biggest regret, is not leaving the ex before I did. However I wouldn't be able to do what I do today if I had. I am only talking 4 years earlier so my youngsters would still be who they are. It's a strange one to sum up is this.

I wish I had met my 2nd husband years before we did.

They are not so much regrets as such. Observations really as I am peaceful and content with my life today

P.S: Forgot to add all my youngsters and I are all in good long term recovery, happily married with families of there own. My 2nd husband is the Dad he didnt have to be to them

Greatest achievement? Nothing exceptional. Maybe just surviving to retirement age. Tho there seems no point most of the time.
Regrets? No point.
Wish I'd done sooner? Paid into my work pension!

Regrets- not being with my father in his last weeks as I was living abroad. Also, marrying someone I wasn't really in love with.
Achievements-making a good life for myself post divorce and having a great relationship with my adult daughters and their children.

I think that I had a reasonably successful career.
I know that I tried hard to be a good mother. I don’t think I succeeded.
I think I ‘settled’ for someone who wasn’t the love of my life.
I would have liked to travel more and now there isn’t the money to do it.

I count my blessings though and am grateful for the things I have.

I love this!!
1...Easily my son. He's a warm, gentle, funny, loving man who's struggled with health and is in chronic pain constantly and is quite simply my best friend.
2...Teachers and some family members wrote me off academically in my teens, it took some time but I attended University as a mature student and studied a topic I loved. 3 years later - honours degree .
3...Regret? That I worried too much about the opinion of other's and would take it to heart. I'd overthink things too.
4...That I'd travelled a little.

Thank you for these questions! I appreciate a chance to take stock. I loved reading about woman’s achievements be it surviving divorce, degrees, lovely children, business or just surviving !
So:

1. My daughter (married with PhD) despite my single parenting. My very happy second marriage.

2.My MA with distinction ( in my 50’s). Being a therapist ( 25 yrs) helping people thrive and bloom. Writing. Being a British European speaking 4 languages and persevering with new one.

3. Regret? Losing my father when I was so young. My rotten 1st marriage. Not trying harder ( like IVF) to have children with second DH. Not having a horse. Living in London.

4. Wish I’d done earlier in life? Had four children. Been thinner. Started writing earlier.

That I'm still standing after having taken all the blows life could possibly deliver - and then some!

Best acheivment is maintaining a good relationship with my two kids : girl married: boy not. Second achievement is establishing a great relationship with two grandkids. Biggest regret is not divorcing when I was younger...left it too late now!

Still working at 82, and finally writing, publishing and successfully marketing my memoirs. Happy days.

1. My 120 published books

2. See above. But I also have three lovely daughters who all have partners/husbands and homes, and five lovely grandchildren.

3. That my parents never met their grandchildren.

4. Waiting till 50 to learn to drive.

1. What do you see as your greatest achievement?
Not killing my husband when he recently took my mobile phone and completely rearranged all the icons. I mean - in what parallel universe is that even acceptable! I was livid.

2. If the answer to no.1 is your kids, what is your greatest non-kid achievement? :-)
Despite kids not being No.1 (that's pretty much a given, I should think, for all of us) my greatest achievement is completing a qualification two years ago, which allowed me to climb the career ladder a little. I never wanted to do this qualification, and I hated every minute of it. I sweated blood over it, and cried more tears over it than was reasonable, and completed it with very bad grace. But I was immeasurably proud of myself when I got my qualification certificate. And was soothed when I saw the first pay cheque following completion

3. What do you most regret?
Getting tied down too young. I bought my first home at aged 18, thinking it was a sensible thing to do, rather than throwing money away on rent for grotty flats. However, it made me middle aged way before my time, as I couldn't afford to do anything fun and frivolous, and then once I'd married and had children, I was tied down further (much as I loved my family). I don't feel I have lived a young person's life.

4. What do you wish you had done earlier in life?
Got my weight under control - I don't think I will ever wear nice clothes again. I have so little willpower these days.

1. What do you see as your greatest achievement? My wonderful son and daughter.

2. If the answer to no.1 is your kids, what is your greatest non-kid achievement? :-) Surviving being brought up by my mother and eventually recovering from it.

3. What do you most regret? Staying in a highly stressful job I loathed for thirteen years at the end of my working life.

4. What do you wish you had done earlier in life? Had the courage and capacity to be my true self. But I got there in the end.

1. Having my DD who survived me going back to College as a single parent, so proud of her caring for her disabled OH & my 2 DGS.

2. Going back to College after H(no 2) left us with no money & home repossessed. Gained an HND in Business Studies (with Distinction) followed by 1 year Teaching Certificate which I haven't used, didn't want to teach 16-18 year olds .

3. Regret marrying H(no 1), I knew it was wrong, he was controlling & I left after 6 months

4. Meeting & marrying DH(no 3), the love of my life, we had almost 23 years together, married for almost 21 years. Taking Early Retirement at 50 to be with DH who Retired at 65. We had 7 years together before I was widowed. I now live about 10 miles from DD but 300 miles from my DM who is 90, she is still in her own home in the Village where she was born.

I can't regret anything really as one thing led to another & if I hadn't followed that path I wouldn't now be in my "happy place"

My biggest achievement is my grandaughter after my son died she came to live with us she was 6 apart from my son protecting her she had had it really tough with her mother.
She is now 18 and leaving 6th form college. We fought for a guardianship in court and was granted one.

1. Don’t really see my kids as an achievement but more the best thing that happened in my life!
2. Interesting and varied career and luckily a good pension.
3. Not travelling more before I had kids.
4. Having the confidence I have now.

1 DDs have turned out really well, 2 lovely gds, can't do enough for me.

2 Holding together a difficult marriage because of DH's ill-health and lack of money.

3 Regret worrying so much and not being able to convince myself that lying awake all night doesn't solve anything. Most things come out in the wash.

4 Can't think of anything specific. My school friends and I married in late 20s and early 30s, there was always someone to go on holiday with when single, foreign holidays every year, life was very full so no regrets about earlier years.

1. Surviving a heart breaking divorce
2. Contentment in single status
3. Regret not having a career of my own, despite qualifications
4. Had the happiest of childhoods so nothing to change there

Greatest acheivement probably my BSc in Swedish when I was fifty,then writing a book last year when I was seventy six.
Biggest regrets, I was never around when my parents passed away, Sweden is far from the UK when trying to get there in a hurry.
Nothing in earlier life I havent done,I have enjoyed life generally.

1) surviving having kids and doing a good job of bringing them up despite never really wanting children
2)Non kid related was overhearing someone saying that I was one of the best senior managers in the business and everyone wanted to work for me.
3)regret not marrying the love of my life and settling for second best. Staying because of the children and giving up my senior role so oh didnt have to "parent". Now stuck with no pension and a selfish tight git miserable husband.

1) Bringing up my GS alone from the age of 4. He's now a lovely young man, nearly 18.

2) Learning to swim at the age of 37.

3) Regrets...Marrying a controlling, selfish bully. Not being able to help my DD with her mental health problems or stop her taking her life.

4) I wish I had realised years ago that I don't have to please other people all the time. If I'd stood up for myself when I was younger things might have turned out differently.

I am now taking control of my life and I feel much better about myself.

1. What do you see as your greatest achievement?

After bringing up my 3 children, largely on my own, to be lovely people it would have to be trekking in the Andes and going to Macchu Picchu whilst raising over £4,000 for cancer research

2. If the answer to no.1 is your kids, what is your greatest non-kid achievement? :-)

Running the London Marathon in 2003 aged 46 raising money for Asthma

3. What do you most regret?

Not pursuing the job I was offered in New Zealand when I was 21

4. What do you wish you had done earlier in life?

Emigrating while I was young enough

Feel free to add extra stuff too!! And no I am not a journalist before anyo

On the family side having a close well supported family unit, my son and I sharing the same interests and hobbies of cycling, doing stain glass and other crafts.
Two big achievements supporting my son through the most horrendous time of his life when his step daughter caused havoc to the family and social services became involved. Also later when he was unemployed and without money for over 13 weeks whilst waiting for benefits to be sorted and I was in the fortunate position of being able to help financially. Now thankfully in a job he loves, divorced and all the gc working.
Lastly one of my biggest achievement was to spend 3 to 4 months a year for just over 10 years just travelling like a teenager and exploring. Loved it.

My biggest regret is not being able to retire at 25 with the money I have now.

Greatest achievement has been my law degree (finals sat 2 weeks after having DD1) and my subsequent legal career; I chose to work for a charity (with much lower salary) but have derived so much pleasure and sense of accomplishment from the work and a real feeling of making a difference to people’s lives that I don’t regret that for a second.
Biggest regret was having a stupid row with my father a few months before he died and not having the chance to put things right.
I wish I had learned and understood more about child development and child psychology when my own children were little and I only started learning about it as a grandparent! Maybe I would have been a better parent had I known then what I have learned now!