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Child and spousal maintenance......

(46 Posts)
jackypat Tue 13-Aug-19 09:46:24

Daughter heading for mediation today. Trying to come to some agreement with soon to be ex. He has so far refused to even entertain idea of spousal maintenance and has offered £200 a month for child maintenance, they have a 3 year old, he lives with mum. Ex threw my daughter out and we shave borne the costs of setting up a new rental home for them. He gave them nothing even though he is the one at fault. My question is what is average/acceptable child maintenance and spousal maintenance? Any ideas or experiences?

kittylester Tue 13-Aug-19 09:56:55

Well, my daughter gets £300 for two children despite her ex living in a huge house and driving a flash car. This was awarded by CMS. He quite proudly told the access mediator that he had manipulated his self employed income to reduce what he has to pay.

At one stage dd was awarded £7 pw between the two children.

It is worth thinking about going through CMS. That way it is legally binding but it could end up being a lower amount.

Dd was never awarded spousal maintenance and, I suspect, it is rarely awarded nowadays.

stella1949 Tue 13-Aug-19 10:19:05

My son is raising his 2 children alone - he has them 100% of the time. He went to court to get some maintenance from his ex - he now gets a grand total of £14 per fortnight for both of them. It's a joke.

tanith Tue 13-Aug-19 10:22:06

I think kittylester is right about the spousal maintainence, it seems Mums are expected to get p/t work with help towards nursery costs for the child.
Good luck to your daughter hope she gets a fair deal.

DancesWithOtters Tue 13-Aug-19 11:08:55

Were they married? Is he an extremely high earner?

SM is very rare and is only usually considered when the DH is in the top 10% of earners. Otherwise it's all down to CMS calculations.

kittylester Tue 13-Aug-19 11:11:09

Or a more informal agreement if the ex will stick to it!

Nonnie Tue 13-Aug-19 11:50:28

There is a government website with a calculator of how much needs to be paid according to earnings, how often the children sleep over etc. Quite easy

GagaJo Tue 13-Aug-19 12:25:44

Do they own their home? She'll be entitled to half the equity. But no. No maintenance for her, just the child. She'll need to work to support herself.

eazybee Tue 13-Aug-19 12:39:44

I believe the minimum is £50 per week per child. I don't think spousal maintenance is awarded now, but if they own the house she is entitled to half, and if it is tenanted she should have first claim. How was he able to throw her out; she may have some redress?

Nonnie Tue 13-Aug-19 12:45:51

I just did the calculation based on an income of £25k and 2 children it came to £76.70. Really easy to do and helps to know the facts.

kittylester Tue 13-Aug-19 13:15:12

eazybee, two of us have said that there were awards of £7 per week.

Dd gets £300 per month for both children. It is based on income and living costs. And, shockingly, if the ex moves in with someone with children the maintenance can be reduced too.

Nonnie Tue 13-Aug-19 13:29:06

kitty when I did the calculation it didn't ask anything about living costs before giving me a figure. Perhaps it would if I had continued. I'm wondering if the difference is what would happen during a divorce as against what is required by law when you are separated? Yes, it did ask if there were other children but I didn't include them in the calculation.

DIL17 Tue 13-Aug-19 15:40:29

Can someone please explain spousal maintenance?

I don;t see why after a divorce one party should still be paying for the other. He should pay towards the children via child maintenance at a rate decided by the court/CMS.

Once the divorce is finalised then your daughter will need to earn her own money and learnt o live within those means instead of relying on her EX husband.

Nonnie Tue 13-Aug-19 15:50:07

DIL17 I'm no expert but I don't think the law has a set scale for spousal maintenance, doesn't seem to be anything on Perhaps it depends on circumstances and gets sorted by the legal profession during divorce if not agree amicably?

I am sure though that the absent parent has to pay the amount according to the number of children and the salary.

mcem Tue 13-Aug-19 16:07:39

Even 25 years ago when I was dealing with my divorce, there was no question of spousal maintenance. Don 't know anyone who has claimed it since.
Are you in UK?

shysal Tue 13-Aug-19 17:26:18

My ex SIL left DD and 3 children penniless and homeless with debt collectors chasing her for cards and loans in her name, of which she was unaware.
He is self employed and his company has been struck off at Company House due to no submission of accounts for years. There is no way the courts can make him pay child maintenance as he would just plead poverty. He did agree a payment with DD after a couple of years but rarely pays it, nothing yet this year. He has only himself to consider yet DD is feeding, clothing and housing 3 adult-sized offspring.
I wish there was a way he could be held accountable. He is living the single life so there is nothing to stop him taking a 'proper' job to do his duty by his children. She expects nothing for herself but she has low earnings and really struggles. This is his way of continuing to be controlling over them. It shouldn't be so easy to get away with non-payment, but the resources are just not there.

shysal Tue 13-Aug-19 17:29:32

Sorry for the rant, jackypat, hope the mediation goes fairly. Unfortunately fault doesn't come into it these days, but on divorce the assets should be split 50/50.

kittylester Tue 13-Aug-19 17:41:39

Is your Idiot our Idiot's twin brother, shysal, it's all about control with ours too. sad

ElaineI Tue 13-Aug-19 23:54:26

DD gets £7 a week for DGS. She has had to ask CMS to get it - means she gets 28p less week and he is charged more. Comes off his universal credit as he is "over qualified" to work - no school qualifications - he was "cleverer than the teachers" - his words. Left her with debts, fraudulent things he signed her up for. F...... pathetic - better not say more!

ElaineI Tue 13-Aug-19 23:56:48

DD works - just about to go up to full time with 16 month old to keep a roof over his head and pay back the f...... debts ...

Davidhs Wed 14-Aug-19 09:05:18

I’m not sure wether £200 a month is fair in this case or not but I have a feeling that if he regularly pays that and takes an interest in the child it will be the best that can be achieved.
If he is a high earner there may be property or pension to be considered although that may not be relevant.

Settlements these days are usually “clean break” with child maintenance provision, most importantly she should cooperate because if she is difficult she may end up getting nothing, its easy to avoid paying.

kittylester Wed 14-Aug-19 10:15:40

I think £200 pm for one child isn't bad as maintenance as I said, upthread, DD gets £300 for 2 through CMS.

Hm999 Wed 14-Aug-19 10:58:25

£200 wouldn't pay for much nursery time if mum is expected to work (And govt paying nursery fees us only for term time?)

Hm999 Wed 14-Aug-19 11:00:22

Elaine - that's awful

Nanny27 Wed 14-Aug-19 11:25:05

My dh paid maintenance for his daughter through CMS. It is set at 15% of his income regardless of any other expenses. Our children were not considered in the calculation. If he had had more than one child it would have been a further 5% for each child.