Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Bank of Gran and Grandad

(35 Posts)
crazyH Fri 23-Aug-19 16:39:45

When I downsized , I gave my 3 children a good sum each. I think all of them have used the money wisely....paid off a small part of their mortgage.
Since then, I have taken them all on a family weekend together. I am divorced, don't have a private pension, but the remaining money from the house sale is there as a cushion. And also, my ex gives me a small court ordered alimony payment .
I do not have extravagant needs I think I have enough and I am content. I'd rather give it to them now, than after I've gone. I can see them enjoying it .

kittylester Fri 23-Aug-19 16:28:53

We have paid for or contributed to all weddings and helped with other things on an ad hoc basis.

None of those things have jeopardized our financial position.

The only help we ever had was fil guaranteeing a loan when we bought our first business.

sodapop Fri 23-Aug-19 16:23:07

I would not help children or grandchildren with luxury items such as holidays or cars. I have helped with house expenses and other necessities.
I would not compromise my own financial security unless it was a serious problem such as the one shysal had with her daughter.

jane1956 Fri 23-Aug-19 16:17:17

Have helped AC with cars etc and holiday spending and often eldest grandson but not compromised our security Would never do that. Never had help ourselves from parents but pleased to ease the burdens of sons

shysal Fri 23-Aug-19 16:08:41

My father was well off but didn't believe in helping the next generation. I have never forgotten losing the first house we wanted to buy because he wouldn't lend us the £100 we were short for the deposit. For this reason I worked long overtime hours to save full house deposits for our daughters. Both their marriages have failed but I don't feel that it was wasted. One DD has needed financial help when her ex left her homeless and penniless with 3 children, and I have been pleased to be able to do it for her. Things are a little tight for me these days but my needs are few and I am so glad I was able to help.

Pantglas1 Fri 23-Aug-19 15:59:02

We paid for daughters weddings as expected but since then I’ve only given them token sums from drawdown of pension lump sums. Their children will inherit our homes in Spain and Wales and any monies left over - if there’s any.....

BBbevan Fri 23-Aug-19 15:56:49

We have helped out our adult children when needed. My mum and dad were very generous and took us all, my sister's family included, on holiday every year. My dad was always the first to get his wallet out. So we have tried to be the same. When our DGD1 started secondary school ,we organised to pay some money into her bank account every month. Mostly to get her used to handling her own money. It gives us great pleasure to do it.

Chucky Fri 23-Aug-19 15:51:29

I have given two of my children the full deposit for their house, plus helped another out and paid for her wedding. The money came from my inheritance from my mother’s estate. Actually gave away more than I got!
I have also had to help daughter out when she had a baby (which wasn’t planned) as she only got basic maternity pay. I have paid for her grocery shopping every week and bought clothes, nappies, wipes etc. I reckon the bill would come to at least a couple of thousand. Meanwhile I only buy basics for myself as I am actually not very well off. I am retired, though it is on I’ll health grounds, rather than age (under 60)! I prefer not to think how I am going to manage if I do live a longer life than I can afford!

lemongrove Fri 23-Aug-19 15:40:01

We haven’t compromised our own security, but we have helped out our AC ( a few times) over the years, for weddings and cars and new bathrooms etc.They never asked for a penny, but we were pleased to be able to do it.
I honestly don’t know if this is different to previous generations.

LaraGransnet (GNHQ) Fri 23-Aug-19 15:30:20

Another radio interview topic - popular today grin.
This one is only for Tuesday though. They want to talk about how adult children rely on their parents financially and also if people have had to compromise on their own financial security in order to help out their children (or grandchildren). Also, whether or not this is vastly different to previous generations. It sounds like an interesting conversation so if there is anything you would like to contribute, we'd love to hear.