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Sister brothers wife!

(36 Posts)
London1948 Thu 12-Sep-19 07:42:07

I’m in Mallorca this week on holiday , but my husbands sisters son lives and family . Tried various attempts to contact and a result was a reply . But her other son no reply , and I think
Maybe it’s been to long for them to want to bother with any contact ? It’s been8yrs at least

Survivor Tue 17-Sep-19 15:41:38

I agree with Rock&Roll5. You didn't go there to see them exclusively but while you're in the area, say hi, have fun. If no response, no loss, you tried.

Tedber Sat 14-Sep-19 16:16:16

Don’t take offence OP hard knowing what you were asking? Gather one son has replied and other hasn’t? Could be for many reasons? Perhaps he doesn’t know who you are?

Enjoy the meet up with the one who has responded.

I love it when people make unexpected contact but some don’t. You have to respect that.

icanhandthemback Sat 14-Sep-19 12:58:34

London1948, I hope you enjoy your coffee with your nephew. These sorts of non-communication often happen and it takes two to tango so I don't think you should be pilloried.
We have a cousin who we hadn't seen or heard from for years but decided to attempt to visit whilst we down in Cornwall. We had a lovely afternoon with him where he was the perfect host and really friendly. When we left, there were hugs all round and then he said, "Thank you for coming. It was lovely to see you but could you wait another umpteen years before you visit again." I was really taken aback but my OH just laughed and explained it was why people tended not to contact him because he isn't a people person. My husband felt that at least he was being honest.
You have to learn to take the negative with the positive on GN. I think people could often be kinder but hey ho!

Callistemon Sat 14-Sep-19 02:59:03

Are you a new poster London1948?

If so, welcome to GN.

Hetty58 Sat 14-Sep-19 01:46:07

London1948, I'd say just ignore the hostile and picky comments as the rest of the natives on here are friendly!

Kacee Fri 13-Sep-19 16:53:50

I agree granless

Granless Thu 12-Sep-19 17:46:28

Yes, there are some very straight speaking Gransneters. Insensitive comes to mind.

aggie Thu 12-Sep-19 16:00:28

I had a cousin drop in unexpectedly , As OH was poorly and the carers came at the same time it was a bit tense , especially as cousin lifted the careplan and pointed out some changes could be made to meds ( he is a pharmacist ). After they left we worked out I hadn't seen him since the mid 90s ! so 25+ years
This year I had a call from another cousin , she explained she was near and could she call , this was a nice visit we reminisced about the missing 50 years and about our childhood , much nicer visit

BlueBelle Thu 12-Sep-19 15:56:50

I too didn’t understand your postLondon Is English your first language ?
So is the the story :
Your husband s sister s two sons (so your nephews) both live in Mallorca with there families You are there on holiday and after no contact for at least 8 years you try to contact them both, only one answers and the other doesn’t

What actually are you asking us ?
Did the one that replied meet with you ?
What are you wanting from them ?
Please come back and explain a bit more

London1948 Thu 12-Sep-19 15:51:40

Sorry to not explain but didn’t want to elaborate to much. I am the wife of the person who had passed away .and she was my husbands sister ! I did get a reply back today and will meet for a coffee , as I do know him but orheraquae would have suggested anymore than that as I haven’t been here for a long time .im not a user of other people’s situation and wouldn’t

MawB Thu 12-Sep-19 15:44:29

I just about gave up at “Sister brother’s wife” and it got even more confusing about “a reply” and “no reply”.
Sorry.

humptydumpty Thu 12-Sep-19 15:16:41

I also couldn't understand your post London1948, sorry.

Maremia Thu 12-Sep-19 14:34:38

Whatever you do, enjoy your holiday. It's a lovely part of the world.

Aepgirl Thu 12-Sep-19 14:16:01

I had trouble deciphering your post, London1948, but now think you should have warned them of your visit.

sodapop Thu 12-Sep-19 13:55:08

Just people responding in different ways Yellowmellow & London1948.
If you post on a forum such as this you cannot expect all replies to be bland and agreeable.
There are several supportive posts here.

nipsmum Thu 12-Sep-19 13:48:19

My daughter and husband moved into their present house 17 years ago. They got a card recently from friends of the previous owners telling them they intended to come for a few nights stay. No return address and my daughter didn't know what to do if they turned up intending to stay. Maybe you didn't get a reply because the family have moved. A lot can happen in 8 years.

Yellowmellow Thu 12-Sep-19 13:46:00

London 1948 lm not sure why Gransnet lets this bitching go on its a form of bullying.

Jaycee5 Thu 12-Sep-19 12:54:11

It is a shame but as others have said, they may be away themselves.
Although it would have been good to have contacted them first, I don't see anything wrong with contacting them once you have arrived. They can always make excuses if they don't want to see you.
I remember my father being very upset when he found out that nephews of his had visited a town quite near to us in Canada and not bothered to make contact so everyone responds to things differently.
There is nothing much you can do once you have left messages but it is a shame if people don't want at least a quick drink and chat.

Maggiemaybe Thu 12-Sep-19 12:34:28

Welcome to GN, London1948, if you're new. grin Your first post has had a bit of a roasting, uncalled for imho as none of us knows your family circumstances. If you stick with us, you'll find most people do actually want to help, as you can see from some of the posts above.

I haven't seen any of my cousins for much longer than 8 years. Obviously we're not missing one another grin, but there's been no fall-out, no drama. If any of them happened to be in the neighbourhood I'd be delighted if they got in touch. Not by a knock on the door though. I agree with Hetty that a friendly note might be the first step to making contact, or a text if you have a number. All the best.

jaylucy Thu 12-Sep-19 11:57:23

I guess it's one of those things - time goes by and you never get round to making that phone call, write that email, etc but on the other hand, no reason why they could not have contacted you!
Maybe try again, just apologising that you had lost touch and inviting them out for a coffee/ lunch/ drink/dinner just for a catch up. Hard to say if they will respond or not, but as they are from your husband's side of the family, they may not be bothered!
I have several members of my family that I now only see at funerals!

London1948 Thu 12-Sep-19 11:53:35

I’ve read your comments and was surprised by people’s reaction! As I hadn’t expected such reply’s . That’s why I don’t post anywhere because I was just asking opinion not to be bitched at !!

glammanana Thu 12-Sep-19 11:38:28

Your nephew is obviously a younger man living his life in Mallorca have you thought as it is the busiest time for holday makers and business he is working if he owns or works in hospitality he will be working some very long hours.
I used to hate people suddenly getting in touch with us when we lived abroad expecting pickups from airports or sight seeing tours at the drop of a hat,we had a business to run and could not just drop everything for them.

Rocknroll5me Thu 12-Sep-19 11:27:30

I don't know why everyone is being so harsh! Invite them out for a meal. Neither side expecting too much of other...just nice to keep in touch as you are in their neighbourhood.

TrendyNannie6 Thu 12-Sep-19 11:12:19

Well I’m not surprised no answer . 8 years no contact you are having a laugh

Noname Thu 12-Sep-19 11:05:29

Don’t blame them! Probably think you're after a free meal/drinks! ??‍♀️?