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Sister brothers wife!

(35 Posts)
London1948 Thu 12-Sep-19 07:42:07

I’m in Mallorca this week on holiday , but my husbands sisters son lives and family . Tried various attempts to contact and a result was a reply . But her other son no reply , and I think
Maybe it’s been to long for them to want to bother with any contact ? It’s been8yrs at least

Hetty58 Thu 12-Sep-19 07:59:13

They could be on holiday too! All you can do is try to make contact or leave a friendly note and then get on with enjoying your break.

FarNorth Thu 12-Sep-19 08:57:04

No contact for 8 years, then you turn up in Mallorca and expect an instant response.
You are being unreasonable.

sodapop Thu 12-Sep-19 09:09:06

Yes its been a long time London1948 perhaps you could have let them know you would be in the area first. As Hetty58 said, just leave a friendly message and enjoy the rest of your holiday.

dragonfly46 Thu 12-Sep-19 09:13:25

Think you should have contacted them before you went. I hate people turning up.

Missfoodlove Thu 12-Sep-19 09:18:07

Imagine the nightmare of trying to live a normal life on Mallorca when every Tom, Dick and Harry, friend of a friend etc wants you to become part of their holiday!

Chewbacca Thu 12-Sep-19 10:28:20

8 years? And no contact at all between you until you just happen to be in the area on holiday? Sorry London1948 but imo you should have contacted them before you pitched up. Missfoodlove is right I reckon.

NotSpaghetti Thu 12-Sep-19 10:45:16

I would still leave a message on the phone - or if in the area put a note through the door.
Just say "I know I should have done this sooner but.... "
At least it's touching base with them and you can get ahead of yourself next visit.
Don't just rule contact out. Be apologetic and friendly.
Good luck.

sarahellenwhitney Thu 12-Sep-19 10:59:07

Why now? How important were they that you waited eight years and just happened ? to be in Mallorca ?

Alexa Thu 12-Sep-19 11:04:48

London1984, I don't understand why you wanted to see these people, as you have not made it clear why they were of such interest to you.

If some distant relations turned up at my home unexpectedly I'd hate it unless there was some very good reason for it.

Noname Thu 12-Sep-19 11:05:29

Don’t blame them! Probably think you're after a free meal/drinks! 🤷🏻‍♀️😜

TrendyNannie6 Thu 12-Sep-19 11:12:19

Well I’m not surprised no answer . 8 years no contact you are having a laugh

Rocknroll5me Thu 12-Sep-19 11:27:30

I don't know why everyone is being so harsh! Invite them out for a meal. Neither side expecting too much of other...just nice to keep in touch as you are in their neighbourhood.

glammanana Thu 12-Sep-19 11:38:28

Your nephew is obviously a younger man living his life in Mallorca have you thought as it is the busiest time for holday makers and business he is working if he owns or works in hospitality he will be working some very long hours.
I used to hate people suddenly getting in touch with us when we lived abroad expecting pickups from airports or sight seeing tours at the drop of a hat,we had a business to run and could not just drop everything for them.

London1948 Thu 12-Sep-19 11:53:35

I’ve read your comments and was surprised by people’s reaction! As I hadn’t expected such reply’s . That’s why I don’t post anywhere because I was just asking opinion not to be bitched at !!

jaylucy Thu 12-Sep-19 11:57:23

I guess it's one of those things - time goes by and you never get round to making that phone call, write that email, etc but on the other hand, no reason why they could not have contacted you!
Maybe try again, just apologising that you had lost touch and inviting them out for a coffee/ lunch/ drink/dinner just for a catch up. Hard to say if they will respond or not, but as they are from your husband's side of the family, they may not be bothered!
I have several members of my family that I now only see at funerals!

Maggiemaybe Thu 12-Sep-19 12:34:28

Welcome to GN, London1948, if you're new. grin Your first post has had a bit of a roasting, uncalled for imho as none of us knows your family circumstances. If you stick with us, you'll find most people do actually want to help, as you can see from some of the posts above.

I haven't seen any of my cousins for much longer than 8 years. Obviously we're not missing one another grin, but there's been no fall-out, no drama. If any of them happened to be in the neighbourhood I'd be delighted if they got in touch. Not by a knock on the door though. I agree with Hetty that a friendly note might be the first step to making contact, or a text if you have a number. All the best.

Jaycee5 Thu 12-Sep-19 12:54:11

It is a shame but as others have said, they may be away themselves.
Although it would have been good to have contacted them first, I don't see anything wrong with contacting them once you have arrived. They can always make excuses if they don't want to see you.
I remember my father being very upset when he found out that nephews of his had visited a town quite near to us in Canada and not bothered to make contact so everyone responds to things differently.
There is nothing much you can do once you have left messages but it is a shame if people don't want at least a quick drink and chat.

Yellowmellow Thu 12-Sep-19 13:46:00

London 1948 lm not sure why Gransnet lets this bitching go on its a form of bullying.

nipsmum Thu 12-Sep-19 13:48:19

My daughter and husband moved into their present house 17 years ago. They got a card recently from friends of the previous owners telling them they intended to come for a few nights stay. No return address and my daughter didn't know what to do if they turned up intending to stay. Maybe you didn't get a reply because the family have moved. A lot can happen in 8 years.

sodapop Thu 12-Sep-19 13:55:08

Just people responding in different ways Yellowmellow & London1948.
If you post on a forum such as this you cannot expect all replies to be bland and agreeable.
There are several supportive posts here.

Aepgirl Thu 12-Sep-19 14:16:01

I had trouble deciphering your post, London1948, but now think you should have warned them of your visit.

Maremia Thu 12-Sep-19 14:34:38

Whatever you do, enjoy your holiday. It's a lovely part of the world.

humptydumpty Thu 12-Sep-19 15:16:41

I also couldn't understand your post London1948, sorry.

MawB Thu 12-Sep-19 15:44:29

I just about gave up at “Sister brother’s wife” and it got even more confusing about “a reply” and “no reply”.
Sorry.