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If my husband doesn't die in the next four years, I will be destitute.

(107 Posts)
Bobdoesit Mon 16-Sep-19 12:03:39

My husband and I have our own home which is paid for but maintaining it and paying rates etc., is a struggle with our two government pensions. When my husband dies, I will not be able to afford to live here. I would have to sell up and move to a smaller place which is fine, although not an ideal time to move. But to add to my worries, my husband has just told me his life insurance ends in four years, and he won’t be renewing it as he simply can’t afford it. I wish we could move into a smaller place now, but there are five houses for sale on our estate and three of them have been up for sale for over two years plus my husband doesn't want to move. I hope to persuade him to take out another life insurance policy, but he tells me it’s impossible as they all charge the earth and anyway he will only be able to insure himself for a very small amount like £1000, so it’s all pointless. I’m at a loss to know what to do. Does anyone have any thoughts on decent inexpensive life cover that maybe I could take out? It’s awful to hope he dies in the next four years or better yet I do, but that is what it’s coming down to.

starbird Mon 16-Sep-19 17:07:45

Whoever is left behind could get a lodger. There are several schemes starting up where young people lodge with a pensioner and both find it mutually enjoyable.

Some of us manage in our own house on a single government pension, but it is true that if any major repair were to arise it could be difficult. I guess that is where a remortgage or equity would come up.

Could one or both of you manage a small part time job and save your earnings for the future?

trisher Mon 16-Sep-19 17:42:26

It has just occurred to me that if I was to advertise for a partner on dating site could I request thathe comes complete with life insurance (Sorry) grin

paddyann Mon 16-Sep-19 18:48:48

I dont think anyone can count on getting benefits nowadays ,people in need are already having a struggle to get any benefits they might have had before UC came into play

grannyactivist Mon 16-Sep-19 19:12:39

Bobdoesit I'm sorry you are in a situation that causes you such worries. Gransnet is a wonderful place to come to for help and support, but not everyone on here has the correct facts at their fingertips. Age UK has well informed staff who can help you to address your concerns and advise you on the choices that are available to you. Please call in and chat to one of their advisors where you will get accurate information.

And then please come back and tell us what you have learnt so that others can benefit from your experience. smile

MawB Mon 16-Sep-19 19:28:03

If OP’s husband’s life insurance policy is not an “end of life” policy, I.e.paying out only on death, there is surely a nice little lump sum heading their way when it expires/matures?

Coolgran65 Mon 16-Sep-19 19:34:51

If there is still a mortgage on a property then is there not an insurance policy linked to that mortgage to cover the situation of one of the mortgage holders dying. I thought this was the law. That every mortgage taken out had to have an insurance policy which is probably assigned to mortgage provider who then gets first call on it to pay off the mortgage. Anything left over reverts to the mortgagee.

Bobdoesit Mon 16-Sep-19 21:20:38

Thank you to everyone for all your helpful advice. I will be looking into all your suggestions and following the links you shared. I’m so sorry that some people found this depressing. I certainly had no intentions of upsetting anyone, but it appears I’m not the only one in this situation, so perhaps it needs more discussion not less.
Arosebyanyothername I’m not assuming my husband will die first and I sincerely hope he won't I was just asking for advice.

Bobdoesit Mon 16-Sep-19 21:31:49

MawB It’s an ‘end of life’ policy but with a fixed term. If my husband is still alive when it ends (i.e. in four years), there is no lump sum payment. I had to check that with him as I had not thought about any of this until he mentioned it.
trisher Thank you for making me smile - I do hope you find the man of your dreams (and his pension) on that dating site.

crazyH Mon 16-Sep-19 21:35:47

Trisher - that reminds me ?

callgirl1 Mon 16-Sep-19 21:39:45

Claudiaclaws, re your stairlift, we tried 3 firms, the first 2 said they couldn`t install a stairlift as our stairs were too narrow, the 3rd, Acorn, said they could, and they did! So worth giving them a try.
I didn`t even have a life insurance policy to worry about, as my husband didn`t have a policy, neither have I. There was just enough in my husband`s bank account to pay for his funeral.
Bobdoesit, does your husband have a works pension? My husband had one, not very large, but when he died I was entitled to a lump sum from it.

Hithere Mon 16-Sep-19 21:50:44

Could you talk to a financial advisor and plan for your future?

Just because your husband is unreasonable, it does not mean he gets to make decisions that are not suitable for the future

BradfordLass72 Mon 16-Sep-19 21:57:56

Have you tried talking to an Insurance Broker?

I don't know how it works in the UK, but here, they don't charge you they get paid by the insurance companies. It's the brokers job to know exactly waht's on the market and what will suit your budget.

I know your husband is reluctant to move but for very many reasons, I'd advise you to do it now while you can. Even if it means lowering the price of your home sale.

If renting your larger home would bring you a better income than paying your own rent on a small house or apartments, that might make a difference too.

Be aware of "We will Buy Your Home" scams and if you have to, run any likely ones past a legal advisor.

M0nica Mon 16-Sep-19 21:58:22

Bobdoesit Like Maw I am puzzled about your life policy.

The only ones I am aware of are life policies where you pay a couple of £s a week and it pays a couple of thousand £ out when you die, and term policies for specific amounts taken out to cover a mortgage or school fees. Given that this policy is a term policy to 80, currently an age close to, if not above male life expectancy, I would have expected that no matter what age he took it out, the premium would be very high.

I am sorry but it is going to be impossible to get 'inexpensive' life cover at your ages. This is because insurance companies work by averaging the life expectancy of a large group of people taking out their life cover and averaging their ages against the probability of them dieing before they are - as in this case- 80.

Any new policy will be based on a group of people with a start age of 80, to cover them if they die before, say, they are 90. This is likely to happen to most of them, so the cost needs to be high enough to cover the probability that most will die before they are 90.

I think this very sad case, and others only makes clear how important it is that we regularly check terms and end dates on any financial products we have, so that things like this do not happen.

gillybob Mon 16-Sep-19 22:05:50

I am 57, my DH is 67 neither of us can get life insurance. It’s not a laughing matter and is a genuine worry for both of us considering we have a mortgage, debts and no savings .

paddyann Mon 16-Sep-19 22:36:11

we both have fixed term life cover,taken out when we were in our 20's .Both policies will end when we get to 70.Initially they were meant to cover the mortgage but as we got older we just held onto them as they weren't costing alot to have.If the OP cant get a ne life policy maybe an over 50's type that's advertised in magazines and on TV would at least cover funeral expenses and abit more .My MIL just told us recently she has no insurance but she gave my OH the money to pay for her funeral when the time comes .

gillybob Mon 16-Sep-19 22:44:38

We have looked at those paddyann but figured we would be better off just trying to save a little bit every month . Most of them only pay out a tiny bit more than what you have paid in and even then not for the first year or two.

We took out a reducing fixed term insurance when we bought our first house. The cover gradually reduces (assuming your mortgage does too) until it ends . Ours ended a couple of years ago, it would have only paid out on death.

MawB Mon 16-Sep-19 23:51:18

And do you know what Bobdoesit, if he does die you will be widowed, alone and facing the rest of your life without him.
Frankly, I think the wording of your thread title is perhaps misleading but sounds both mercenary and callous.
If you are now mortgage free you could downsize to a cheaper house to run, but if you live on an estate I would imagine your running costs are not huge and Council Tax will be commensurate with the size of your house.
If your own state pension is below a certain level you may be eligible for pension credit.
I imagine you have done a detailed calculation of what your outgoings are likely to be and are panicking about how you would manage but I have found living alone is cheaper in the end, food and energy bills are lower.
Is the thrust of your OP advice on finding insurance, advice on coping on one pension or do you think that those of us who have lost our life partner would really sympathise with your final sentence?
its awful to hope he dies in the next four years or better yet I do, but that’s what it is coming down to
You have and will still have a roof over your head - unlike some.

gillybob Tue 17-Sep-19 09:47:19

Unfortunately the amount of council tax you pay in England , (unable to comment about the other countries within the U.K.) rarely has much to do with the size of the house or it’s value . More to do with which LA you live in, with poorer areas having way higher council taxes than the more affluent . Kind of a lose, lose situation.

CarlyD7 Tue 17-Sep-19 10:01:23

You talk about your husband dying first so I'm assuming he's olde than you? The housing market, generally, is slow now due to all the uncertainty over Brexit. That will change in a year or two, so don't give up on the idea of moving. Is your husband financially savvy or is he more the "head in the sand" type of person? Do you have regular finance sessions together or does just one of you do it all? If you're a typical couple (I've found) he probably won't listen to you, but he might listen to someone else - someone that he sees as a financial expert? I wonder if you could find someone via Age UK or Citizens Advice (or another trusted organisation) to advise you and if he would be willing to see them? (Make sure you pick wisely if you decide to do this - there are a lot of sharks out there). If he won't, there are lots of messageboards where you can pick up some very good advice (including here of course!) and places like Money saving expert. It sounds like you need a plan in place to reassure you that you will be okay if he dies first? (Also, worth pointing out to him that YOU may go first - not unknown - and he will be the one left to deal with it all ??) Be active; open a file; collect options; find out about benefits; tax issues, etc and make sure he sees you doing it). Once that's in place, hopefully, you will be able to face the future more hopefully.

trisher Tue 17-Sep-19 10:02:02

Thanks for not taking offense at my post Bobdoesit smile Can I just say that having been through a lot of financial uncertainty in my life the worry about what might happen is usually worse than the actual event. Hope things turn out well for you.

Nannan2 Tue 17-Sep-19 10:02:05

Claudiaclaws- please contact the council and ask for occupational therapy they come out to assess you,so if you need a downstairs loo,etc or any adaptations they help organise that if they can,you need to visit your gp and ask him to refer you to occupational therapy first,but if you ring council& ask for them they will tell you what you need to do.

Nannan2 Tue 17-Sep-19 10:05:25

As for OP,yes get advice first,for everything,but certainly the move to sheltered housing sounds like a good idea,as you seem to be struggling im sure it would free up youre little cash a bit,and you could live on house sale proceeds.

blubber Tue 17-Sep-19 10:12:04

You will get extra state pension from his contributions and should get his local government pension as well as your own

annsixty Tue 17-Sep-19 10:20:23

I think OP was possibly meaning state pension as opposed to local government pension.

gillybob Tue 17-Sep-19 10:25:00

So many assumptions .

My DH at 67 is eligible for the state pension although he is trying to defer for as long as he possibly can , which given his current health may not be much longer . I will not get a state pension for at least another 10 years . No private pension to fall back on either . When my DH is unable to work I will be out of work also and will struggle to find another job due to a permanent medical condition. No job, no pension .
What then?