If my husband doesn't die in the next four years, I will be destitute.

I am surprised some of the readers find this distasteful. She is only stating facts. When you get older, you have to face up to how you will manage financially if one of you died or went into care. My husband and I bought this house 12 years ago, being a bungalow with no stairs and in a very quiet street, it was ideal. This was to be our last home,unfortunately he took a stroke four years ago and after struggling to care for him myself, he has now been in a nursing home for the past year. I pay £220 each week towards the fees and my council pay the rest. This amount is his old age pension plus half his works pension. I am left with half his works pension and my own small old age pension. I still have to pay for heating and lighting, tv etc any repairs to the house, clothes for him and myself, I need my car to visit him so that's insurance and petrol but the council aren't interested in that. Your household bills don't reduce just because someone leaves the home. We are !ucky that we have savings and when they run out then my payment towards his fees will be assessed. You have to be realistic about looking to how financially you will manage when one of you passes away. No use sticking your head in the sand.

Massive sympathy for your situation. But who, in their 70s+ and with preexisiting health conditions, can obtain life insurance. No-one.

Yes, take a lodger- we have done this in the past, and I would do it again. Fortunately I'd be able here to rent a whole separate flat if we partition the back and put a shower in. I'll do B&B too- and pay someone to do all the bed changing and cleaning.

Claudiaclaws, investigate alternatives. I like the idea of an actual lift, but have absolutely no idea of the cost, and if I need one and am still here I'd have room for a stairlift
I know when my parents needed one the stairs were very difficult, and while they did not chose the best alternative, there was one albeit a dearer one [reason they didn't go for it]. It was a false economy as it was v difficult on the corners, but ask around, go to companies that sell different sorts, not just one sort. The one I found said that they could almost guarantee that they could find one to fit

Why not consider getting a lodger. You can earn £9000 p/a tax free when registering with the government's rent a room scheme.

It is depressing, but it is reality and saying you won't return to this thread, you are obviously well off enough not to have to! Lucky you .....

I am currently in a situation where I cannot afford to live where I do purely because my eldest daughter has returned home to live with me .... so it will be a case of her replacing my lost income, or I will have to up sticks and downsize by moving back to my roots to become mortgage free - bizarrely I will actually be able to upsize as the property prices are vastly different. I have a mortgage with no insurance - it used to be law, but not now I don't think. Equity release is not for me, but if you have no children or your children do not need an inheritance (which would just be the value of my house anyway) then Equity Release is a great idea, spend it whilst you can! Think eventually it won't be allowed as essentially you are giving away what would be used for your care costs should you need them, so get in there before they stop it! Places like Age UK, Stepchange, Shelter, CAB will all be able to advise you on what to do - they will do an income and expenditure form with you and ask you about what your house is worth etc - I used Shelter and they were great! Getting life insurance now will cost you an absolute fortune, probably better doing funeral plans instead?? There are definitely options out there, you just need some advice as to how to find them - good luck! xx

Ref getting a lodger - that's ok unless you are on benefits trying to increase your income - they will only let you keep £20 a week of that income, so for me it wouldn't be worth changing my life around to do it sadly - shame when there is a mammoth housing crisis and it would give me some company in the house ...

Have you had a serious, calm discussion recently with your husband about your finances ?

From the tone of your post it sounds as if you are the one doing most of the worrying, but of course the problem concerns you both doesn't it?

What are HIS suggestions about your financial problems ? You say he doesn't want to downsize, which would release some much needed money, so what does he think is the best way forward? Don't let him bury his head in the sand as that will achieve nothing.

I think you should sit him down in a quiet moment, and express just how worried you are about the future.

Have pen and paper handy and jot down any ideas which spring to mind, then whittle them down to those which could really happen.

bob you have had good advice on this thread. I personally would consider releasing equity. A friend of mine released 12k yearly, and it worked well for her. She has passed now but it helped her with the financial stress. Good luck

Yes, Claudiaclaws, the worry of how you're going to manage financially is awful - I've worried about it for a long while knowing. The one time I had a break from the worry was when I had cancer - it felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders as I didn't have to worry about money after all. Surprisingly, I recovered, but with my recovery, back came all the money worries.

Nothing I can do about it, like OP, my husband also found it impossible to get any kind of insurance after having a heart attack. We both have crap pensions (or I will have upon retiring - in fact I won't be able to retire - I'll have to work until I die).

Sorry, this has turned into a 'woe is me' rant and I only wanted to say I'm in the same boat and the worry spoils my life.

And annsixty, whitewavemark2 and HildaW, assuming you're still reading this, then count yourselves incredibly lucky not to be in the situation where you have to face these 'depressing' and 'disturbing' worries. Go and read all the 'pretty threads'.

Sorry, take the 'knowing' out of my first sentence. Don't know what it's doing there.

I think the ill will shown towards other Gransnetters in this thread is disturbing. Whether older people are poorer or better off, whether they rent or have property they are all in the same boat in some ways. We all share a common humanity. All deserve sympathy as life is tough for everyone in one way or another.

The current expressions of envy, resentment, anger and bitterness towards others is a horrible factor of our age.

If you have a pension and own your house outright you are not destitute.
Ask any of those who still has a mortgage to pay and no income if their partner predecessors them or is in negative equity or people who have been scammed out of their pension by crooks or indeed whose pension was lost e.g. the Equitable Life scandal what “destitute” feels like.

And annsixty, whitewavemark2 and HildaW, assuming you're still reading this, then count yourselves incredibly lucky not to be in the situation where you have to face these 'depressing' and 'disturbing' worries. Go and read the pretty threads
This comment is inexcusable - you owe some people an apology - have you any idea who you are castigating AlltheLs ???

For “predecessors” read “predeceases ” - stupid iPad.

You are not by any chance a reincarnation of Live, love, learn are you AlltheLs ?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I've often joked to myself that if things got really tough I might commit a crime which demands a prison sentence. Nothing violent obviously. I'd save money, I could help younger inmates, read a lot.

I am fortunate to own my home, a mobile (park) home, my DH & I downsized from a large 4 bedroom house to a 2 bedroom Park Home. Sadly he died 15 months after we moved. His State Pension ceased along with his very small Company Pension. Over half the household income gone. Fortunately he had Over 50s Insurance which covered the cost of his Funeral.

Incidentally I believe the State Pension ceases upon spouse's death now as every-one gets their own State Pension, correct me if I'm wrong.

I had to downsize further as I couldn't afford to stay in the Home we'd bought. I moved to be closer to DD & DGSs. I'm very happy in my new home, heating bills are less but my home is small & I have no storage.

I don't get my State Pension for 2 years but have my Civil Service Pension & Benefits. I do worry how I will manage when I get my State Pension as I think my Civil Service Pension will take me just above the threshold for Pension Credit.

I have 2 Over 50 Policies, Index linked, my payments go up every year but so does the pay out, hopefully they will more than cover the cost of my Funeral.

I have no savings but at the moment I am living life to the full, I don't know what the future holds but I do not bury my head in the sand, many things are out of my control so I can't worry about them.

I'm speechless regarding AllTheLs comments.

I've already been told to sod off from another thread because I disagreed with the OP due to personal reasons so decided not to post on this one.

But...…..this morning, DH (who is seriously ill in hospital) and I have been offered a glimmer of hope and I'm clinging to that with my fingernails. I couldn't care less if we end up living in a garden shed. I just want him home where he belongs.

Tell me to sod off from this thread as well if you like. I couldn't care less because I know what matters in my life.

So many things to worry about as we get older and are faced with our own mortality.
I would look seriously at down sizing Bobdoesit surely it should be as much your decision as your husband's. Some good ideas on here well worth following up.

Jura2 if you pay someone to do the bed changing and cleaning for your B&B there will be very little profit, its not a great money spinner.

There is now an option not to have a traditional funeral but to be taken straight from home or the hospital to be cremated, then your ashes given to family members to be kept or disposed of as your wishes. I think this works out much cheaper because no hearse, cars etc.
I may look at this option as I dont feel the need for a service .
GILLYBOB
Re deferred pensions. Are you aware of the changes made in 2016 ?
In the past people could take a larger lump sum but the situation is now different. I would check on this if you havent already.
I have a decreasing life insurance policy which is up in two years. If DH dies before me I have to apply to the army for which I will receive 4 months of his pension and that is all.
Lots of us are living in a bubble which will burst eventually. I just try not to think about it .

I do apologize sincerely to those who have husbands who are ill or who have died, and whose wives would give up everything financial to have them back again. Believe me, it was not my intention to hurt them. My first reading of their posts was that they wanted to wash their hands of such a 'dirty', depressing subject - as if they wanted to distant themselves from such ugly things as lack of money. Reading their comments this way, I, felt speechless at their lack of understanding.

So if there are things going on in their backgrounds that I don't know about that have caused them to make these comments, I am really sorry for any offence.

By the way, MawB, we were those who lost pensions through the Equitable Life scandal.

Downsize NOW if you don’t put the house up for sale you’ll never know if it will sell or not. Don’t be a victim of your circumstances take action and get the ball moving now. Once you start taking action things will fall into place. Good luck and although I’m retired I am happy to coach you through theses processes. Being stuck and feeling stuck is never a good place to be in.
We have also taken steps. We have very large house which is on the market and also have 5 plus houses in the adjacent roads for sale. We’ve bought a smaller ground floor apartment off plan which will be ready in 2021.
Taking action is a great feeling.

By the way happy to get you moving on your thoughts at no cost to you I’m not looking for work or payment

Legs55
You should have inherited your H’s state pension.
If you haven’t that is wrong.
My H died in April and I inherited his, please look into it.
I didn’t have to apply, it was done automatically when DWP were notified of his death.