If my husband doesn't die in the next four years, I will be destitute.

About fifteen years ago, DH and I took out a policy which would pay out £250,000 on second death. This seemed a good plan, as the monthly premium was very reasonable, though we knew it would increase. About five years ago, it doubled, but was still manageable. However, this year, it quadrupled! As DH is in a nursing home, my income is halved, and savings depleted. The options were to pay the new premium for the next five years to retain the original sum, after we are both deceased, or continue to pay the current premium, and have the final pay out reduced by two thirds. The point of this policy was to ensure that our family would have an inheritance, in case our savings and house were lost to care costs. At the time, we thought we were in good health, so was just a worse case scenario, but, in the event, DH developed PD with associated dementia. If we were both to die before the next review in five years, it would have been worth paying the higher premium, but it's likely that if one of us even is still alive, the premium increase then will be unmanageable. It's the chance you take as we can't see the future.

I agree with Maw. To say “It’s awful to hope he dies in the next four years or better yet I do, but that is what it’s coming down to.” is indeed callous! It seems that you do not value your “d”h very highly when finance is more important.

If my dh dies in the next 6 months I will get a substantial sum of money from his pension policy. After that (as he will be 65) I get no lump sum. The difference between me and the OP is that I love my dh and, despite his considerable ill health, I value every day we have together and any financial hardship will just have to be dealt with, which it will be as I am an expert on managing on very little!

I have a small life/annuity policy. It was sold to me in 1979 as about £35,000 lump sum on maturity (if interest rates had continued as they were at the time) which was a considerable amount of money then. The reality is that it is now worth around £8000! It matures in 1-1.5 years and will go straight into a funeral fund!

When this scenario happened to us ,it was pointed out that the AC could pay the premiums as , after all, they are going to have a huge payout in the future.
I can still manage the premiums as they have not increased as much as yours.
Perhaps you could discuss it with them.
When a friend of mine was widowed with not enough to pay all her bills and still run a car and get out ,her AC took over the utility bills and council tax for her saying they would rather she stayed in her home which they will eventually inherit.
I realise neither of these ideas are possible for everyone but it is worth sounding the family out.

When we were considering a stair lift, age UK arranged for someone to come and give advice and a price, promising no followup unless we requested it.
It's also possible to hire them.
We eventually decided to go for a stiltz lift, and it has been worth every penny...though it was a lot of pennies!
It's meant that for the first four years, while my husband used it, I could continue to use the stairs unencumbered. Unfortunately, he is now confined to downstairs, but I now find I need the lift myself, and was so pleased to have it there waiting.

My husband recently was given a terminal prognosis of two years and is now busily training me to manage all the finances and ensuring that I will cope! It is very disturbing as I would like to concentrate on what we have left to enjoy but it makes s him more content. Good advice is essential

Would it not be possible to take out some kind of individual savings policy that would pay out if you die but gives you a lump sum at the end?

I have two one, with LVP and one with the Sheffield Building Society. Granted they are both 10 year savings plan, one of which is a tax free plan.

I’m in that sort of situation. All my husband’s life insurances ended when he turned 60, poor health meant he could not get reinsured. He died in February age 67. His meagre private pension terminated on his death. I get 25% council tax reduction and council tax benefit but if I work any extra hours the benefit stops. In fact my council tax went from £52 a month to £113 all because I worked 3 extra days! According to their calculations I only need £72 a week to live on! Fortunately I have no mortgage and good health so still working but not sure what will happen when I have to stop work. All my friends are enjoying their retirement while I’m working harder than I have in years!

My husband and I never had life insurances. He believed that insurance companies were money making organisations. I have had house insurance for sixty five years and never claimed.
When he head to stop work at the age of 57 because of deafness we sold our property in Hampshire and bought a small bungalow in Norfolk and invested the proceeds. Interest rates were high forty years ago and enough to live simply on. we let the bungalow and travelled Europe by caravan until he died ten years later. I was able to pay for his simple funeral and came back to the bungalow. I had never worked but inherited his State pension.
Interest rates fell and when I had less than £1,000 pounds was able to get Pension guarantee credit. This meant I didn’t have to pay Council tax.
When I contracted osteoarthritis in both knees I contacted social services who for a small cost put handles on doors, provided bathroom aids etc.
When my mobility got so bad I found it difficult to housework I applied for mobility allowance and was granted the lower rate enabling my to employ someone.
At the age of 96 my funeral will soon be a question. I still have enough to pay for that but my son tell me to spend the money because he has more than enough to be able to afford it.
Apparently hundreds of thousands of people fail to apply for available benefits. They say they are too proud. My husband served seven years in the army being wounded which caused his poor health and I served four years in the WAAF and when we were demobbed were homeless so I think this country owed us something.

Why take out a policy . Just tell him to put the money away each week ,.Im not paying into any funeral plan . Why should someone else hold the money ,. Move while there are still two of you and make some memories in the new house .

By the way, MawB, we were those who lost pensions through the Equitable Life scandal.

As they say AlltheLs - tell me about it ?

I think the law has changed recently and you can only inherit a spouses pension if you are of pension age yourself annsixty I remember reading this and thinking how it would affect those with age gaps .

I agree with other posters about seeking advice as a first step. There may be some benefits available that Bobdoesit is not aware of currently. I have Funeral plans in place (although I already had Life Insurance, as I worked for an Insurance company). Age UK has helped us in the past in getting P.I.P for my husband, and they do not charge for their services. I can thoroughly recommend them. All kinds of help is available, from befriending services to home handyman help with small repairs or DIY needs.

Sorry gilly yes that is the case and also sorry to the poster I replied to.
I have now read back and she isn’t yet getting her state pension.
When she does I hope she can then get a decent pension on his contributions, I did not have my own state pension, it is SOO complicated.

If he should die in the next 4 years guess who would be the number one suspect? Joking apart can you not take equity out on the house which would enable you to remain living there? If there's only one of you then you pay reduced Council tax, and also you could let a room for over £7,000 a year without incurring income tax. You may be entitled to some of your husbands pension as a widow depending on what type it is.These are all things to consider. Maybe you should get some independent advice from Citizens Advice or Age UK which would not cost you anything but give you some idea of all the options available.
Worse case scenario you can always downsize in the event of your husband's demise but he could be with you for a good few more years. Also have you thought about investing in a cash ISA which is free of tax and would mature in about 4 years, when you can either take it out or renew for another 4 years?

Cash ISA’s are really poor investments at the moment.The first £1000 of interest is tax free anyway and rates are abominable.
Four years is a long investment for people of a certain age.

Thank you to everyone for the replies I'm sorry I've not responded to individual questions but I will do so in a couple of days. Ill health (not mine) has taken me away from home but I should be back on Friday.

Take some equity out of your house.

I'm confused! Isn't Life Insurance a protection until the end if life??

Why are you juggling money and giving yourself worry if you won't be there to spend it?
Your AC are capable of working, are they not, so why give them hundreds of thousands of pounds you've worked for?
Other than that, ask them to fork out for the premiums.

Omaformayo, some policies are for life, but others have terms set eg till a certain age, or for so many years.

There comes a time when you need to have a good, realistic view at your financial situation. My husband died 6 months ago, and I assumed he was looking after our finances. What a shock! He had debts on credit cards I never knew about and never seemed to have a worry in the world. My daughter said to me yesterday "Dad was slowly sending you broke". Everyone please make sure you know where money is being spent and exactly what your commitments are. I will be OK but it has caused a lot of angst sorting things out. I will need to manage my finances carefully but I do have a roof over my head.

Our LI was for a fixed term, supposed to cover the remaining mortgage should one of us die . The insured amount decreased over the years to take into account the supposed decreasing mortgage. Unfortunately we were forced to increase /extend our mortgage but the insurance company would not increase /extend the cover due to mine and my DH’s health . We now find ourselves at 57 and 67 without life insurance of any kind.

Bobdoesit, why waste time worrying about the future and what may (or may not) happen?

By all means see the CAB to find out what you may have to live on - then just forget it and get the most from today!

Insurance is usually a rip off as that's how it works (the majority lose out). OK, you may have to move, but you won't ever starve, so get on with living!

Hmmmm .....

Gillybob I’m so sorry you are in a similar situation to me. No luck finding any insurance as yet but if I do I will share the info to Gransnet.

Lona I’m glad you are healthy, but it’s a scary situation.

Luckygirl humptydumpty Claudiaclaws and several others thank you for mentioning equity release/lifetime/ retirement/mortgages

EllanVannin Nannan2 I hadn’t thought about supported housing because I didn’t think it was possible as we have a property, but it obviously is and well worth considering. Thank you.

callgirl1 Neither of us has a works pension.

CarlyD7 I’m older than him but only by six weeks. Head in the sand sums him up. Thank you for your very sensible and helpful reply.

annsixty I did mean state pension thank you for clearing that up.

MadeInYorkshire just thank you for your very helpful reply.

Thank you to everyone who mentioned Age U.K and Citizens Advice and getting a lodger. I’m going to look into all the suggestions. I feel so much more positive today.
I wish I could reply individually to you all.

For all those who think I’m wishing my husband dead – you could not be more wrong! We met when we were 17, married at 21 and are still together in our 70’s. It was fear that made me ask the question – fear of losing him, fear of being on my own, and fear of trying to cope with moving house without him. Once I’ve gathered together all the information I’m going to sit down with him and try to talk it all through without falling out. My husband tends to think I’m criticising him if I try to ‘take control’ of our financial situation. I’m glad I asked the question on here even with the negative comments. Maybe some of you who are in a better position than others need to think a little more before you jump in with unkind comments.

A few of you have suggested I’m lying (too strong a word but I can’t think of a better one) about the insurance. Once I’ve spoken to my husband, I hope to provide more details. I may have got it wrong, but I’ve asked him twice, and he assures me it ends in four years with no payout at the end.

Chucky how could you possibly think I want him to die? If anyone has to die, I sincerely hope it’s me – purely for selfish reasons as I’m petrified of being without him. There you can have a go at me for that now!

Merlotgran please don’t ‘sod off’ you have to stand up to the bullies. It’s difficult, and I’ve shed a few tears reading some of the replies on here. Some because I’m feeling sorry for myself but more because I feel so, so sorry for those in a darker place than me.

By the way trisher I’m glad you are managing, and I sincerely hope that either my husband or I (depending on who is left) also manage and that is what I’m trying to sort out.