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House guests with “needs!”

(77 Posts)
EllieB52 Tue 01-Oct-19 22:04:16

Hope you lovely people can give some advice. Early December we have my DH’s daughter, husband and three virtually adult children visiting for three nights from New Zealand. One of them is coeliac so their food has to be prepared and cooked separately (no cross contamination) and another is vegetarian. As carnivores we have no idea what to feed them. All suggestions welcome. I can see me being stuck in the kitchen for three days! Then I have my DS and DiL coming for Christmas which was arranged months ago. My stepson is now trying to invite himself and his two unruly children for the post Christmas period. My DH can’t see a problem but then he’ll be the one sitting on his backside while I cook, clean, get the bedding washed and ironed between visitors! I feel frazzled just thinking about it.

Anthea1948 Wed 02-Oct-19 11:25:28

There are lots of vegetarian choices in supermarkets, but my 'go to' choice would be vegetarian mince. You can use it for shepherd's pie, cottage pie, lasagne and all sorts of things like that. And most meat eaters won't mind eating veggie for a few days, especially if it makes life a litte easier for you.
Getting them to send you a list of suggestions would be good.
When I've cooked for coeliacs in the past I've not cooked their food separately, just cooked the same gluten-free things for everyone.
And get your DH to help!
Most of all remember they're coming to visit YOU, not the house or its contents, or even the food. You can always suggest they go out to eat!

Nannarose Wed 02-Oct-19 11:27:29

We often cater for veggies and special diets (though not coeliac). One of my tricks is to set up a veggie feast, then cook something like a lovely piece of gammon or beef that the meat eaters can enjoy alongside, and then eaten cold.
At this time of year, a pumpkin or squash, stuffed with rice (extra veges, nuts & raisins etc) looks lovely.
Also, a huge tray of roast vegetables: garlic, onions, peppers, aubergines, tomatoes, slices of fennel with plenty of herbs.
This can be enjoyed hot or cold (I do plenty for left-overs).
Any kind of carbohydrate works with these - they stir in to rice very nicely, as well as being great in sandwiches.
I'd get the following to keep by:
Some plain rice cakes, can be eaten with anything
Oatcakes (ditto)
Mushrooms which can be quickly made into a tasty snack
Eggs (ditto)
A good selection of cheese
And for puddings:
Ice cream (check it's gluten free)
And I'd make or buy a batch of meringues & macaroons.

Standard 'afters' in our house when people are staying awhile is that I put out: ice cream, nice biscuits, fruit, cheese, crackers. Help yourself in whatever order you like.

Hope that helps.

Missiseff Wed 02-Oct-19 11:29:06

Lots of recipes of all variations on Pintrest

Katyj Wed 02-Oct-19 11:35:35

Send out for pizza one evening many of them do gluten free and vegetarian now, or gluten free pasta with vegetable sauces.Have a lovely time.

NotSpaghetti Wed 02-Oct-19 11:40:03

Hello,
I'm another person who likes "Cook" ready-meals.
Not cheap but do taste as though you cooked them at home - they say they are made in small batches, so maybe that's why.
Here's a link:
www.cookfood.net/
If I'm going to have loads of visitors staying I'll try to have at least a few items from them in my freezer!

Good luck.

jaylucy Wed 02-Oct-19 11:46:38

There are plenty of things you can buy at supermarkets that are either veggie or gluten free. You may well find them in the Free From section, all are clearly marked and usually pretty good prices - get a couple of each and put them in the freezer - at least you will know that they will have been prepared under correct conditions and cut down on the stress of cooking for extras.
Beyond that, ask for recipes that they use at home, but be aware of the fact that some things may be called by a different name.
Ask the rest of your guests to a) contribute something to at least one of the meals - maybe even they would be happy to even cook one meal for you or bring a dish with them? b) help with washing up etc c) change their own beds at the end of their stay.
You don't run a B&B so I see no reason why you should be expected to do all the running around! Forget about ironing the bed linen - if it is folded as soon as it comes off the line, or out of the dryer, it won't crease as badly - I have been known to run an iron over the top of a duvet or even bottom sheet once on the bed so it looks neater!

EllieB52 Wed 02-Oct-19 12:17:23

Like your thinking suziewoozie. Don’t want to change DH but would consider just ditching him!!

Some great ideas - thank you all. I’m starting to formulate a plan of action. I’ll let you all know how it goes....

fizzers Wed 02-Oct-19 12:20:27

I would check beforehand what the person with coeliacs disease can and can't eat, if they can send you a comprehensive list beforehand then you can be prepared.

The suggestion that everyone eats vegetarian for the three days is an excellent idea, then you aren't having to prepare lots of different foods, check whether the vegetarians eat fish - some do. There are lots of excellent vegetarian recipes around at the moment, and are certainly not boring. Sainsburys do a 'mushroom' sausage and it's one of the best sausages I've ever tasted.

I'd also prepare and freeze as many dishes as possible in advance, plan meals out in advance also.

Why not suggest that some of your guests bring their own bed linen, then you are not having to do all that washing, if they ask why, then tell them why, that it becomes too much for you to handle.

As for your husband, well tell him if he wants a house full of guests then he's going to have to help out , that it's not fair that you are being left to cope with everything, tell him you are not getting any younger and it wears you out.

Auntieflo Wed 02-Oct-19 12:31:16

That sounds like an awful lot of work.
Could you not ask the family from this country, to bring dishes that could be frozen and are for sharing.
The ones from overseas need a trip to the supermarket to choose the things they will eat.
I so dislike catering for folk now, that I do it as little as possible.
Such a misery guts,, but I plead old age and decrepitude ?

marionk Wed 02-Oct-19 12:45:56

Have you got a branch of Cook near you? Their food is excellent, big portions for feeding hungry teens, they do some gluten free stuff and vegetarian too

Nannan2 Wed 02-Oct-19 12:53:43

Yes get a list of foods they MUST NOT eat.then try make ahead and freeze.as for the relative with unruly kids,tell your hubby youl book them in at a local premier inn or similar with a pub nxt dr- so you can go meet them for meal out.(get your DH to pay for their room if they cant afford that?and yes,NO ironing of bedsheets.I find a quick tumble dry leaves most things not needing an iron.

Kartush Wed 02-Oct-19 12:53:44

If it was me, I would call the NZ. visitors and get a list of the things the coeliac can eat, I would have thought if they have such strict dietary requirements they would have been thoughtful enough to do that. As for the sheets and stuff, wash put on the line or in dryer and put on the bed, ask your husband to help with that bit. I know we all like to give guests a help free holiday but in this case I think you need to enlist the help of your husbands daughter, after all she has been coping with this for some time.

grandtanteJE65 Wed 02-Oct-19 12:56:00

Here are two recipes I hope you will find helpful. All the vegetarians I know like them.

Red lentil ”meat balls” (There is no meat in them, but I can’t think of a better name)

1 dl red lentils per person
1 medium sized onion
1 to 2 gloves of garlic
1 egg (two for a large portion)
1 to 2 tablespoons of flour
2 tsps. ground cumin
2 tsps. ground coriander
3 to four bay leaves
salt and pepper to taste

Rinse the lentils, they do not need to be steeped beforehand.
Place them in a saucepan and barely cover them with water.
Add the finely chopped onion and garlic and the bay leaves

Bring to the boil, then turn down the heat immediately and simmer the lentils gently until they are soft. Take care that they do not boil dry. When they are ready, remove the bay leaves. They will probably have absorbed all the cooking water, if not pour of the excess. Add the egg(s) flour and spices and stir well. The mixture should have much the same consistency as a meat loaf.
Fry them over gentle heat in oil or butter, as you would fry meat balls. Take care that the heat is not fierce, as they burn easily.

Serve with boiled potatoes, carrots, or other vegetables. If preferred you can bake the mixture in a well-greased ovenproof dish, like a meat loaf.

You can use any kind of flour you like, thus avoiding gluten or other harmful substances for those with allergies.

They keep well in the fridge and can be made in advance and re-heated in a frying pan or the microwave.

“Green broccoli cakes”

Wash the broccoli, divide it into small pieces, using the stalk as well. Peel and chop a sufficient number of potatoes so that they correspond to half the weight of the broccoli. Boil with salt in water that covers the vegetables completely.
When the vegetables are soft, strain the water into a bowl. Mash the broccoli and potatoes as you mash potatoes, adding a little butter and some of the water you have kept. (The rest can be used as stock for vegetable soup. Form the mixture into cakes, using a soup spoon. You will probably need to add some flour to make it stiff enough to work with. Fry over gentle heat in cooking oil.

Serve hot with boiled carrots


You will be able to find recipes at

12 Amazing Gluten-Free Recipes for Beginners
www.mygreatrecipes.com/blog/12-amazing-gluten-free-recipes

willa45 Wed 02-Oct-19 13:01:50

My DGS has Celiac disease and entire family comes over quite often. Celiacs are allergic to anything that has wheat or gluten so avoid wheat products and MSG. I offer him things like meat, poultry, potatoes, eggs, dairy, rice, vegetables, fresh fruit, salads etc. There are also gluten free products available in the food markets, such as gluten free ice cream, baked breads, biscuits, pasta etc.

Vegetarians are a bit harder, but as long as you don't offer them red meat, poultry, seafood or eggs you should be relatively safe.

Nannan2 Wed 02-Oct-19 13:10:34

Yes and if you all have veggie dishes you can cook some fish 'extras' for those who can/or want to add a bit more to pad out their meal perhaps?

Witzend Wed 02-Oct-19 13:10:55

Personally I'd go and buy something ready made for the 'needy' ones, at least for major meals. Just too much hassle trying to cook 2 or more separate meals.

We had a vegan staying a couple of Christmases ago - he had a bought vegan something or,other and seemed quite happy with it. With 11 non-special others to cook for (I did have help) there was no way I was preparing anything extra.

And I certainly wouldn't be ironing bedding! We've had lots of guests lately, I've stopped bothering and honestly, nobody cares.
But I do always get dh to help make the beds (it's nearly always his family staying, not mine) - so much quicker and easier with 2 of you, esp. when it's a king size duvet to get into the cover.

Nannan2 Wed 02-Oct-19 13:16:07

Gluten/wheat free is a lot easier these days,but a few of my GC are totally dairy/soya free and unfortunately soy is the thing ready-made items use as the 'go-to' to replace dairy! Its complicated but im getting more used to it now.A list of anything prohibited is a MUST!

Nannan2 Wed 02-Oct-19 13:20:36

For the lentil ball recipe- whats a 1 'dl' please?(of red lentils)

Hetty58 Wed 02-Oct-19 13:24:54

Grandtante, what would you use instead of egg in the first recipe to make them vegetarian? My friend eats gluten free but avoids lentils as they can have a percentage of wheat in them.

The second recipe seems good if you use rice flour instead of wheat. I'm used to cooking for vegans and milk protein allergy relatives so veggie and coeliac look easy by comparison!

Hithere Wed 02-Oct-19 13:30:58

No need to become a slave.

I am sure they are also looking forward to spending time with you.

Would you let them use your kitchen so they can cook their own meals?

Quercus Wed 02-Oct-19 13:39:34

I would do something like lentil and tomato soup with good bread, spaghetti bolognese or chilli con carne made with Quorn, pasta with some sort of veg/cheese sauce. All easy to do, palatable for non-vegetarians and could be made in advance and frozen. I would just buy suitable ready meals for the coeliac. Plenty of fresh fruit for desserts. DH to take responsibility for all bed linen for his side of family including making beds and washing the bed linen. Skip ironing, no-one cares. Despatch guests to supermarket to buy wine/beer and they can supplement what you offer if they want to.

NannyEm Wed 02-Oct-19 13:43:42

My son's girlfriend is vegetarian so I made a few meals when they first started seeing each other, and then found them uneaten and hidden at the back of the frig. Found out she likes tomato in veggie burgers but not hot in meals, or as a base for recipes. Cheese has to be made with non-animal rennet, no food containing gelatine. I gave up in the end and have either just bought plain green salad vegetables, or get her to bring her own food.

Purpledaffodil Wed 02-Oct-19 13:52:43

Christmas last year included a vegan, a Muslim, someone with a severe nut allergy, another with severe alcohol allergy. Oh and a baby.?Thanks to lots of forward planning and freezing, it was fine. Nobody died and we all had a great time. Even me. You’ll do it Ellie. I would factor in at least one meal out though.

BettyBoop49 Wed 02-Oct-19 14:00:33

Do yourself a favour - Marks and Spencer
do a fabulous range of vegetarian and gluten free dishes.
Add a few extra veg and present them as your own!!

grannyactivist Wed 02-Oct-19 14:26:16

I think the lazy husband is more of a problem than the food will be. We have lots of guests staying/visiting throughout the year, but we also have an agreement that if the The Wonderful Man has issued the invitation that he will also do the cooking/preparation and I will assist (as he assists me when people visit generally). In your shoes EllieB52 I would start by writing a list of the jobs that you expect your husband to do.