Grand mother - grand child generation gap

What a varied collection of memories and non-memories. Fortunate are those who have fond memories of their grandparents, and to those who have hazy memories like me, well I feel your loss.
I think that the fact our generation is younger than previous ones (70 is the new 60 etc) gives me hope. Mind you, it seems a very uncertain world in which to bring a new human being, what with the climate emergency and popularism sweeping the world, and don't get me started on Trump and Johnson!

Our granddaughter says she feels very lucky to have both sets of grandparents alive and (reasonably well) at 19. Our daughter had no grandparents left by the age of three. I never met mine as they died quite young.

I never knew my maternal grandparents and although my Dad's parents were still alive, my mother disliked her mil, so we never visited.

I did stay with them just once when Mum went into hospital. I was probably 4 or 5 and Grandad was gentle and kind, gave me a threepenny bit 'for spice'. The Yorkshire word for sweeties.

Dad was one of 11 children so bringing them up in a tiny terraced house can't have been easy.

Unlike my Grandma, I've always loved children; being a Mum is the best job I've ever had but I am a 'real' grandma to only one, now 26 and working in London.

I'm (step or honorary) grandma to quite a few, including a 24 year old Korean girl (seen here in Japanese national dress), and that's lovely too.

The grandson who stayed with me this week is such good company: very clever and funny, loving and caring.
He's no blood relation but we have a great time together and I love him to bits.

Never really knew any of my GPs, but when met DH, adopted his family, so acquired a Grandma and Grandpa, as well as his parents and MIL's siblings, so had brothers and sisters and lovely extended family. DS is blessed to have known most of the two GGP and GP generations.

We lived with my maternal GPs during WW2 and my Gran had a big influence on me. Mum was working, Dad in the Navy.
I'm grateful, she was a good influence, for religious belief, music, sense of humour and much more.
Now , like others, I rarely see our grandchildren. But I remember a conversation I had with oldest grandson when he was about 8. He asked me if it was right to give money to beggars? Evidently his parents said not. We had quite a long discussion . It was good that he asked.

I only had my mums mum as a child as my granddad died two weeks before I was born and my fathers parents were both dead by then. She looked after us while mum went to work...she was lovely in a subdued way. No walking up hills or playing card games or board games or anything exciting..... but when I think about her I see a dominant personality...a loving substitute for mum and she always had a threepenny bit for the ice-cream van! I haven’t given her much thought in years....so thank you Wish I was younger , for bringing her back to the front of my mind. A quiet, capable woman , who I know loved us all in her way. I hope I’m Hal the grandmother she was.

I had only one surviving grandparent. She lived some distance away, and died when I was 6, so I don't remember her at all.
I have two GC in the UK, who live very close to me. They are now 20 and 17, and I have a very good relationship with them.

I also have a 2 year old GD who lives in Australia. We chat online a couple of times a week, and I visit every year. I am going over for her Mum and Dad's wedding in November. I also have another Aussie GC due in May, and will be flying back for it's birth. I am 80, and don't know how much longer I will be able to make the journey, or if I will survive long enough for them to build up lasting memories of me. It's a blessing that we can keep in touch over the internet, but it's not the same as being there to play with them. My little GD thinks, at the moment, that I live in the phone! I can't wait to see her face when I arrive at her home!

There’s meant to be a generation gap! If the grandchildren need someone grown up to play with, it should be their parents, not grandparents. It’s our job to take a great interest in all they do, to talk and listen, and to dispense wisdom ?.

I got on well with my maternal grandfather in particular. He lived with us in his old age, from when I was eight until he died when I was about fifteen. He was very patient and loved to listen to me singing around the house. He called me “the Upton nightingale “. It was nice to be appreciated.

My children were very close to my parents, who lived quite near, about fifteen miles away. Their paternal grandparents lived in Australia so they didn’t meet often, but when they did my children treated them exactly as they treated my parents.

I don’t see much of my grandchildren - too far apart - but they know I’m their Grandma and when we do meet they treat me as if we met every day.

All my grandparents died before I was born so I had no expectations of what a grandparent should be. My parents and PiL loved my children but had very little to do with them, they never looked after them because we lived in different cities and there views of childcare were not the same to mine. Also they seemed very old to me and to my DC. It's different with my GC I regularly care for them and I hope they will have fond memories of the time we have spent together.

WishIwasYounger, I too have wondered that. I'm an older gran of two boys who live quite a distance away and soon to be gran of a girl (first child of my only daughter) who lives ten minutes away. My knees won't be up to the horsey rides I gave my eldest GS (shouts of more, more & fits of laughter) but I will hunt for conkers, acorns, feathers and interesting leaves, read & make the voices, jump in puddles, listen, explain how to play cards, ludo, draughts, dominoes, go for walks, to the market, put flowers on the family grave, listen some more, answer questions, make gingerbread men for her daddy to eat, play at shops and tell her about my childhood, work, travels etc because that's what my grandad did for me (my grandma's both died before I got to know them) he taught me to ride a bike & my times tables! He taught me to be kind too and that is a gift that's timeless.

My maternal grandparents had both died long before I was born, as did my paternal grandfather. My paternal grandmother was only interested in her grandsons, so I have few good memories of her. My daughter had both sets of grandparents until she was in her late twenties, and loved being with them, and I hope I have the same relationship with my 8year-old grandson.

My children lost their great grandma last year. They were both very close to her and remember her (5&8). We visited her every weekend and had some lovely fun holidays together. I lived with her as a child and was very very close to her. I was too poorly ( in hospital) to go to her funeral, and to this day regret not being there. I was the last person to see her the day before she died. I do miss her.

Sadly I didn't have any adventure with my my maternal grandmother although I do remember spending time with her over the holidays in her cottage. She wasn't a well lady, I don't remember going out with her.
My paternal grandparents were odd to say the least. All stock was put on male offspring, my brother was treated like a king.... I however have scant memories and my final memories after the death of my father aren't pleasant I'm afraid.

I spent 4 years raising my eldest granddaughter and still spend at least one overnight a week with her and time during the holidays doing fun things together. Hopefully when the wee one is older we will have the same bond (without me doing full time care!!) I'm young enough to still be able to get out and about, do holidays etc. Lots to look forward to ❤

Sadly, I didn't know three of my grandparents as they had passed away before I was born. I do remember my maternal grandad however - with great fondness.

Having three grandchildren of my own, I make every moment of my time with them count, enjoy their company and spend time playing with them and hope to build many happy memories with them. They also love playing with their Daddy's and Uncle's toys which we have kept - specifically for that purpose - so they have different things to interest them when they visit.

I knew neither set of grandparents and much envied my best friend who lived with her nana who was lovely, welcoming S’s friends and making delicious teas, something our working mothers didn’t have time for.

DH’s mother was a wonderful grandma to young children though rather baffled by teenagers. I am close to GD1, who spent a lot of time with us and regarded our house as a 6asecond home; she would get out of the car asking “where are my things?”, anxious to see what new book, craft item or game had been added since her last visit.

You have to work harder to keep in touch with teenage GC if they are not local, but it is worth the effort when you get a text or a phone call that they have initiated.

a Portuguese friend gave me a diary when our granddaughter was born to record in it things she wouldn’t remember about the times we spent together. I have continued to do this every year,only put entries in it when we are together i.e. what she said, what we sang together etc. Where we went.
My paternal grandmother started me writing a diary when I was 14 51 years later I still keep one.

Like gillybobs i.was.lucky enough to.have my maternal grandma until I was 53 and she was a week off 93.
When I was young I remember watching Bette Davis films on Sunday afternoon and.having either a full English breakfast or roast dinner with her and.my grandad(who was in poor health and passed when I was 36 and.my daughter was 1 1/2.
Later we used to go out to the club and.have an occasional game of.bingo, or.she would.try and.teach me to dançe at tea dances, she was very elegant and.me not so.
When my daughter was.born she was only 75 and she used to look after her for a couple of hours on a sat or sun and.they would play schools or.shops with grandma sat on the floor with Natasha.
We still miss her 3 and a bit years on but we're privileged to.have her so.long.
Even though when she was younger my daughter said.she.had.to stay alive till 100 and.when.she passed she was hysterical and reminded us that nana was.supposed to live till 100.
Hope my.daughter has a.child in.the next 10 years then i.can.hopefully have quite .few fit years with the next generation, but she.needs.to.finish uni first, her last year now, but now thinking.of doing a.masters and a.phd!!
I'll.never.be able to.retire and have.my world cruise at.this rate.x

I had two completely different grandmothers. One who scrabbled about on the floor and who cooked with me. The other introduced my to ‘china’ tea and reading for pleasure. I loved both, but I’m much more like my ‘china’ tea drinking Grandma than my cooking Nanna. I’m fine with that, and hope my grandchildren are too.

I was only 36 becoming a grandmother for the first time, and I loved it when people thought me and hubby were her parents even though she had two perfectly loving parents of her own, our relationship has always been very close and I was young, fit and able enough to do everything with her and her two siblings who followed.
However when second daughter had her children a little later in life they are age 7 and 1 years old I now find being 61 and suffering from several physical illnesses I am unable to do the things I did with the older grandkids, which I feel a bit guilty about as we are their only grandparents.
We see them about once a month as they live 1 and a half hrs away and do what we physically can with them, but have to be honest I wish I could be the young fit grandmother I was for the eldest three.

I never had grandparents from my mothers side as both her parents died by the time she was 13 years old. My Dad died when he was 28. I only new my grandparents untill I was in my teens when they both died. I remember two incidents even today. One were I through my grandads inhaler on the fire and it exploded and nearly gave him a heart attack. The only time he took my sister and myself out for the day was to the seaside, we were only very young and he left us on the beach and went to the pub. Today I have 2 grandchildren and 4 step grandchildren. I look after my Daughters children 3 days a week and we have a wonderful time together.

We were talking this week about whether we went to stay over with our grandparents. I did, but I cant remember how often. My kids rarely did (though their cousins stayed literally weekly!). Her other gran and I have her sleepover often.

I have two grandchildren one is 18 and one is nine. I am 75. I have spent a lot of time with both of them they have lived with me I have cared for them and also played with them. I had wonderful grandparents and would like to be remembered as I remember my grandparents. But certainly at the moment they now have busy lives and I see them a lot less than I did when they were small, and I do wonder if the bond will be re-established as they mature (if I dont die first!).

It's about time. They will remember the time you spent just focused on them (not worrying about the washing or the shopping or the phone ringing). And teaching them to do things that other people have got the time for (like dominoes), or just snuggled on the sofa having Shimmer and Shine explained to you by a 3 year old!

Join a U3A memoir writing group and leave your grandchild something of your life. Don't we all wish we'd asked our parents/ grandparents about their lives whilst they were alive?

How old will you be in ten years or so? As it’s really only 10 upwards that her memory of you will really remain