Grandchildren becoming independent

Since in Scotland at 16 you can leave home, get married, etc etc without your parents' consent, I'm sure he should be old enough.
The not taking part in a family visit is of course a different matter but doesn't seem to be the sticking point here.

Thanks, grans. Will ask dd why. My feeling is that she is clinging on and respect for in-laws or maturity questions are not her major concern. Or is using maturity issues in order to.justify clinging. As I said gs is perfectly capable. Aged relative invited to house sit re dog before this issue arose.

My son was 17 when he went abroad for the first time he was always very mature still is. Never worried about him always looked after himself.

I left home at 16 so yes I do think it's old enough. Found a job, bedsit, and was very happy. I think kids are kept young far to long nowadays.

My grandson has been left alone since he was 14 when his mum (single mother) travelled abroad for work as far as South Africa/America. I lived about 10 minutes away by car though she often didn't inform me of her plans. It was how she had been brought up and she considered him capable. I wasn't happy but accepting. No disasters. He is now a very independent 18 year old, well prepared for life. Luckily.

We left our 18 and 14 year old for a weekend - they were fine, and I think it did them both good. For once they didn't have a row all weekend.

I agree with Chestnuts... one of the first to post.
depends on the family, maturity,,, etc...

I would say your daughter has to start letting him go. These days with all the technology its never been easier. She could face time each day just to check. In a year or so he could be leaving home for Uni, is she going to go with him. I say trust him m and leave him at home.

Parents are just wrapping their kids in cotton wool these days.

If his knows the boundaries and he can stick to them . Your daughter could ask neighbour to keep an eye out and if anything untoward happens she could contact her . As long as he is sensible and mature there shouldn't be a problem . You know the saying thou , when the cats away the mice will play .

It is your daughters child not yours.

Im not quite sure what you mean by " there will be "an aged adult resident in the house". Surely that means theyre not alone?

I suppose the nearest I got to that was staying with a friend when her parents went away. But we werent party types so they knew the house was

Old enough to get married, old enough to get a job. Old enough to have children. Should be old enough to be left alone!

Old enough to be left especially as a over 18 in house too...shows trust in him too

Rilla - true!
However, if he is still dependent on his parents and not living elsewhere independently, I think his parents should have a say about whether he should stay in their house without them and it would be courteous and kind to visit his grandparents occasionally, something which should be encouraged.

16-years old is a young man, not a child, and should be allowed to prove he’s capable of being left on his own.

Just thinking how times have changed since we were that age. I would not have dared to say to my parents that I wasn't going with them somewhere; it was expected that you obeyed them. If DM said jump, it was a case of "how high". We didn't dare refuse.

In fact I think I was at least 18 and at college that I told them I would not be attending chapel with them on Sundays. Somehow, the sky didn't fall in.

Left my daughter (17 ) and son (14) and went on holiday on our own for a week. They were trained well. I know they did have a party.... which my friends older son popped in to supervise! Told them I was phoning school every day to make sure they were there ( which they were) and after two days the school told us our kids were there, clean, tidy, with clean clothes and polished shoes! So not to bother ringing school again as our kids were quite responsible. I felt proud of them..... and they never came on holiday with us again.It depends on the individual child I’m afraid and a parent usually knows best about their child.

Depends on the son. Our eldest would have been quite safe at 16. Our second son wasn't responsible enough until he was about 25!

It does depend on how mature the kid is, but 16 seems plenty old enough to me

He's 16, he can basically do what he wants. Why is there such concern when there will be an older person in sutu? Is there something you are perhaps not aware of? Don't blame him for wanting to stay at home, visiting relatives at that age can be a real bore.

I was allowed to stay at home alone from when I was about 13 - it was only when my parents and younger siblings went to visit relatives so only for a couple of hours.
The first time the rest o my family went on holiday without me was when I was 17. I had just started work and had booked to go on holiday with a friend later on outside school holidays.
As long as he has someone he can contact that lives nearby,in an emergency, I can't see the problem.

We left my 15 year old son for 2 weeks whilst we took the other 3 camping. He had 3 dogs and 2 cats to look after plus various rabbits, guinea pigs etc. We arrived home 2 days early (we were camping and it kept raining) and the house was quiet, clean and tidy. Neighbours confirmed there were no parties or noise. All animals were fine. If you don't give them the opportunity to show you can trust them then how will you ever know you can.

We left our son home alone when he was 16. He had his best friend’s mum to keep an eye on him and he was fine. He says he enjoyed the freedom but found it odd coming home to an empty house. Told him to leave the radio on when he went out.

Left our daughter home alone ‘I’ll be fine, mum!’ ‘You worry too much, mum!’ ‘You must trust me, mum!’ When she was also 16. She was straight round the boyfriend’s for long bonking sessions! Little madam!

We were able to leave our teen age boys ok. But the point of this’s post was the younger one was in charge as he was so sensible.He still is and is the executor of our wills.

It does depend on how mature the kid is, but 16 seems plenty old enough to me

I feel that if they were mature, they would appreciate that visiting family can be boring at times, but is still important and isnt all about you!