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Asking Questions about my Finances

(67 Posts)
westerlywind Sun 17-Nov-19 16:39:53

I have noticed in the last 6 to 10 months that I am being asked questions I find too intrusive. I would never ask anyone about how much anything cost.
I sold a property which was openly advertised on Internet and in the Estate Agents window. After the house was sold and the new owner was in the property I met one of the neighbours from there who without preamble asked me how much I got for the house.
In the property that I live in, I got some external work done and a neighbour who does not normally speak asked how much it all cost.
Another piece of outside work was done and the spouse of the above neighbour asked how much that cost.
I mentioned to an acquaintance about some other work I am planning, I didn't go into detail and she asked how much that will cost.
Am I being a bit soft not liking to be asked about every job I have had done or plan to do?
I would think it such bad manners to ask anyone about anything related to money.
Can I have your opinions please

Gaunt47 Sun 17-Nov-19 16:48:39

Yes, I would find it intrusive too. I've found that enquiries can be turned away by saying, oh all the bills aren't in yet, isn't the weather lovely today! Perhaps those kinds of personal questions are more likely to come from the younger generation?

Urmstongran Sun 17-Nov-19 16:48:43

After the house was sold and the new owner was in the property I met one of the neighbours from there who without preamble asked me how much I got for the house

Maybe the neighbours don’t realise it’ll be listed on Zoopla anyway in a few months?

No need to ask!

MamaCaz Sun 17-Nov-19 16:53:50

Personally, I don't think I would be particularly bothered about someone asking me any of those things - though I might not necessarily tell them.
(Though they will soon be able to find out via Google how much your house sold for, anyway.)

FlexibleFriend Sun 17-Nov-19 17:05:42

Wouldn't bother me tbh, they maybe thinking of getting similar work done but no clue what it would cost, or be thinking of selling up or just plain nosy. If I didn't want to tell them I'd just laugh and say "Too much" and walk away. I certainly wouldn't be offended.

Nortsat46 Sun 17-Nov-19 17:13:25

Oh dear westerlywind you have caused a moment of doubt. We are planning a loft conversion. I have asked one neighbour whom we know well, all about their conversion (inc costs). I am on the verge of asking another, who is only a ‘good morning’ type acquaintance.
Now I am wondering if I am being too forward...

janeainsworth Sun 17-Nov-19 17:17:50

It wouldn’t bother me either.
Norts if you prefaced your question by saying you were thinking of getting similar work done yourself, your neighbour would realise why you were asking and that you weren’t just being nosy.

westerlywind Sun 17-Nov-19 17:18:32

They only ever speak to be nosey. They never say Good Morning, nice day etc.
I learned to say I don't Know.
These people are in their 60s. They are incredibly nosey. They asked who people are who visit, they asked what a relative of mine was doing on ? street.
I think I will stick with I don't know or all the bills are not in yet. They are not friendly at all but extremely nosey.
Thanks for your views

BlueBelle Sun 17-Nov-19 17:21:18

Yes wouldn’t bother me either I d just imagine they needed the information for their own use but you don’t have to tell them if it bothers you be evasive if you need to

westerlywind Sun 17-Nov-19 17:22:57

@urmstronggran I did not think it was right for me to talk about the new owner's finances. ~I do wonder why the neighbour did not ask the new owner (a man in his 30s).
I have sold that house and as far as I am concerned it is all over now.
I currently live in this house where all the more questions are being asked. There may well be a surprise in store for the neighbours still.

Urmstongran Sun 17-Nov-19 17:24:31

I love a mystery ....

NotSpaghetti Sun 17-Nov-19 17:25:20

Nortsat46 I'd thank the first lot profusely next time I met them and say how very helpful they have been with your planning. You can say that you hope you didn't come over as invasive or nosy but you do so value the help/advice.

Then yoj can speak to the other neighbours and say "I know this may come across as rather cheeky but..." and then add that if they have time/inclination to advise you (at their convenience) would they please let you know? That way, if they aren't enthusiastic helpers you will sense the reticence at that point.

Good luck.

EllanVannin Sun 17-Nov-19 17:28:07

I wouldn't dare ask anyone how much anything cost.

ninathenana Sun 17-Nov-19 17:41:27

A friend couldn't understand when she asked me how much rent DD and family paid. I told her I didn't know (genuinely didn't) "but it's your daughter, I would ask if it were my daughter"
If DD wants me to know she will tell me, I would never have the cheek to ask her or anyone how much they paid or were paying for something. Having said that DD wouldn't mind.

harrigran Mon 18-Nov-19 07:46:29

I am surprised people ask about rent, it is fairly standard depending on area or type of property, any newspaper will give that information so no secret.
If I got a good price for my house I would be crowing, as it is we were robbed blind and they have asked for the sockets.

PamelaJ1 Mon 18-Nov-19 08:53:31

Wouldn’t bother me. The questioners aren’t asking how much money you’ve got in the bank are they?
We have just booked a holiday and quite a few people have asked what it cost and who we booked with. I’m perfectly happy to tell them. It helps them if they are thinking of something similar.
I think I can tell the difference between people who are interested and those who are just being nosy.
I particularly like telling people if I got a bargain😂

Calendargirl Mon 18-Nov-19 08:57:06

House prices are no secret nowadays. Years ago you could exaggerate how much your property made, not so now, which is better.
In years gone by, finances were much more private. Now, as in most things, the world and his wife are involved with everything, it all has to be ‘shared’.

Happygirl79 Mon 18-Nov-19 10:21:24

I understand your point of view OP
but people are more forward these days. With social media sharing is todays way

polnan Mon 18-Nov-19 10:27:39

oops, you talking about me?

sarahellenwhitney Mon 18-Nov-19 10:29:31

There are a number of ways to reply to a 'how much' etc etc ie Very reasonable /waiting for the invoice /more than I expected/not as much as expected Then of course you will always get the persistent ones who don't give up then I would say 'That's my business'. Tough if you annoy them.

Chardy Mon 18-Nov-19 10:32:29

If the houses are similar, of course people want to know how much they could get for their home! As for having work done, I would suspect everyone wants to know a good, reliable, reasonably-priced builder etc. That's not like asking you how much your jacket cost!

nipsmum Mon 18-Nov-19 10:40:26

My answer to the question of how I got for the house was, "not nearly enough" and about how much for work done is usually" far too much".you don't need to answer precisely an y questions you don't want too. How rude some people are in asking. If they are really rude the answer would be " that's nobody's business but mine".

Hilbil Mon 18-Nov-19 10:41:57

Then isn’t this more about who they are than the question itself? As you don’t particularly like their attitude generally then you aren’t going to answer- if they (Or anyone) have asked a polite version of the question which gives you the opportunity to say ‘no’ - then no harm done. Probably they just want to assess whether they should do the same. Generally I would have no problem telling people a roundabout figure if it is likely to improve the look of the street by encouraging others- you could alternatively tell them who did the work so they can get a quote. Take the Moral upper hand and always be nice to them - perhaps they don’t Have great social skills but always best to be on good terms

grandtanteJE65 Mon 18-Nov-19 10:47:15

I have got used to being asked what things cost, as it isn't considered bad manners in Denmark where I live. In the UK, it used to be, but this I gather is changing.

If you feel uncomfortable telling people what things cost, which you have a perfect right to, I suggest you think out a couple of answers in advance.

Either say, "Sorry, I would rather not say." or "Happily, not more than I was willing to pay." and leave it at that.

luluaugust Mon 18-Nov-19 10:50:01

I seem to have the opposite problem people are always telling me what things cost! If I was asked I would probably say "enough" and ask if they were thinking of having work done.