Advice please

Stay out of it she sounds perfectly normal
I wore skirts up my bum high white boots crocheted dresses (holey) and do you remember there was a fashion for see through blouses oh I cringe now at the thought

You need to start a new discussion mylittlecherub go into forum choose the sort of forum you want to use (Ask a gran) then click on ‘start new discussion’

This is not your business. She wont listen anyway. And she shouldn't. This is her parents' job.

Thank you - I thought I’d done my own post so will try again

It’s lovely that you can accommodate your little family, and it sounds like you want the best for them. They are very important, especially your little GC. As for the dogs...if you don’t want them, that’s your choice. Your daughter has to realise that you’re not obliged to do anything, but of course you’ll want to, they’re your family. When it comes to the dogs, it’s entirely different, and if you don’t want them, that’s your prerogative.

mylittlecherubs, You would likely get more advice by starting your own post, but I’m so sorry you have found yourself in this situation.

If you truly think you cannot cope with the dogs, you need to be very clear again with your daughter. Can you help her find somebody else where they can stay until she gets her self sorted?

I’m new to gransnet and would like some help with a dilemma.
My daughter has 2 very small babies and the father after 10 yrs together has just decided he no longer wants to be in a relationship. This has only just happened and we are trying to support our daughter through this as she is still very young and she and our grandchildren have just moved back home with us. Reconciliation does not appear to be an option. The children are only age 18 months and 3 months and obviously this is very upsetting for her but she is committed to “ getting on with it” as her children are her priority.
Obviously I am helping a lot and luckily the babies are very good and sleep well.
We are in our early 50’s and both still work but our biggest problem is that our daughter wants to move her too large dogs in with us too and we are not against animals as we already have 2 small dogs of our own and a cat.

We have worked hard to have a lovely house and luckily it is big enough so my daughter and grandchildren will have a stable home. She will in time move into her own house but she needs help at the moment especially as they are so young.
My opinion of their father I am unable to post on here and frankly I don’t want to waste my breath on him BUT my daughter is in bits regarding leaving her dogs behind and as she has had these for years she is really upset and keeps saying they will be good , she will look after them and clean up their mess etc .... BUT we really don’t want them and she is struggling to accept that and thinks she can probably win us round.

He partner says he’s not having them either so the guilt trip is starting to happen ... But I don’t know how true this is - he will still be seeing the children ( well till that novelty wears off too ! )

Please has anyone any advise to help out daughter understand that it’s not practical for us to have the dogs as well as our own pets and although none of this is her fault we are struggling with adding to her stress by not having the dogs - she is still in hope that we will have them.

Thank you

I am glad too! Accept her as she is

I’m so glad you’ve chosen to say nothing OP!

My skirt was what is known as a pussy pelmet!

I recently saw a photo of myself when I first started work in my early twenties - how I survived walking around the roughest areas of Brum as a social worker I do not know!!!

Worry about your children - but let them do all the worrying about grandchildren - just enjoy them!

Thanks all. You’ve been a great help.

I think I prefer the mini skirts to the awful ripped jeans my GD favours. As she is now 6th form, she no longer has to wear school uniform but when she did, she, like all other teenage girls, turned over the top of her school skirt. Even if they have to conform within the school building, you can bet that by the time they reach the school gate, the skirts will be several inches shorter. So, OP, your DG is no exception, judging by the sights I see when the local high school kids are walking home.

I remember my mum buying me some nice full-skirted dresses (think 1950s Sandra Dee) between school and college which I abandoned pdq!
Luckily I had some money from my holiday job and spent it in C&A, although that was a while before the mini skirt came in.

No don't compliment her when she's wearing something that does look nice - tell her how elegant/ pretty/fashionable she looks or how it suits her figure/colouring. The moment a grandparent says that, she will know she is deeply out of fashion and never wear the garment again.

We seem to be divided into two groups those that had a misdressed (in adult eyes) youth and those who didn't

ooof Septimia "dressed like a tart"? Dangerous choice of words...... what's a tart anyway? Strawberry? Lemon?

Also, if my mum/dad/gran had complimented 'me' on my choice of clothes at 16...I would have been suspicious ha ha ha

It's her parents' job to tell her she can't go out dressed like a tart - as my parents said to me (or will be treated like one)!

I remember DS and friends sitting on a wall in the village watching one of the local girls walk past and remarking that she was wearing a belt rather than a skirt, it was that short. Even other youngsters notice what doesn't look good.

Maybe the best tactic is to compliment her when she's wearing something that does look nice - tell her how elegant/ pretty/fashionable she looks or how it suits her figure/colouring.

Thanks everyone. Okay I won’t say anything, even though my tongue is sore with biting it so often !!! Pleased I asked for your advice.

I was a child of the sixties too! Mini skirts, high heels, even false eyelashes! My poor parents! I have four granddaughters, from 17 to 11. My 15 year old is horse mad, and happiest in jodhpurs, hoodies, boots and covered in mud etc. The 17 year old is modern and smart, wears very short skirts in the summer and has lovely long legs. My 13 year old is at the 'gangly' stage, shows her midriff a lot! Little 11 year old is growing fast and developing a taste for fashion, although she is happy in her horsey clothes. They need to develop an identity and hopefully, whilst doing so, their clothes sense won't reveal too much! Don't say a word Murrec, would be my advice.

My granddaughter, same age as yours Murrec.....dresses similar...but I don't say a thing.

OMG Murrec... not sure what age group you belong to but I remember wearing the shortest of shortest and my dad saying exactly the same to me!!! I ignored HIM then as your GD will do to you!

I can remember wearing some -very- short skirts in the 1960s, with bare legs or sheer tights.

Seeing my 12 year old DGD, slim with -very- long legs in equally short tight skirts, I also notice that she is wearing them over thick tights and I think 'How wise', although I would never ever say so.

I think part of the problem is that young people dont just stand in front of a mirror, they take a selfie from a flattering angle and use filters. If possible take an unflattering photo of her somehow. Apart from that I wouldnt say anything, she would not value your opinion and it will cause upset.

Didn’t you wear miniskirts or huge bell bottoms or platform shoes or other attention seeking outfits? I did and expect my mum and gran were horrified. Agree it’s not your place and if you did say anything she would roll her eyes, not take any notice and write you off as an old misery.

Not your place I’m afraid, the best you can do is air your worries to her parents. Otherwise, sit tight and wait for the phase to pass.