How to say no to Dogs after breakup

Do the Parents want her there for the next twenty years? The sooner she gets on the list the sooner she'll be housed especially as the children are so young.

No - the dad of my grandkids lives in his mums house and his mum lives in another county hence my daughter living their until breakup - sorry to confuse

How difficult. When our daughter was battling for survival in a nasty, violent relationship abroad- the only thing that helped her get away was that we agreed to take in her beloved dog. I am so happy we could help her and give him a wonderful last 3 years of life- and her being able to visit.

But in your case, it just seems impossible- so you have to sit her down and work a plan out. Difficult for sure.

Thank you everyone, the dogs being with children have never been an issue as they are well trained and daughter works with dogs too , hence the issue of parting from them .

THANK YOU for all your help as we have come to a compromise where she can still see the dogs 2 days a week when dad has children and we will watch GG whilst she takes them out for a few hrs on a Sunday. She was not happy at 1st but we kept firm that we will not home them as it’s unfair to the cats especially and it’s our home . Partner has also agreed and like the GG the dogs are their joint responsibility and neither of them want them re-homed.
She’s actually smiling now

Well done x

Excellent.

Hi they both work and she is on maternity leave , also saving for own home so she will get her own place when she’s settled and back in work. Youngest child is not quite 3 months old yet so she does not want to live on her own just yet

Thank you

I was on the list for 13 years, was about to be made homeless and STILL wasn't housed. WITH my dependent daughter. The lists are too long and there are too few houses. Too many sold off by the Tories

Oh that’s great news MylittleCherubs - you must be so relieved that it’s all worked out well

Agree GagaJo - the days of getting a council house just because you have young children (esp if you’re not homeless) are long gone, and the absolute best you can hope for is emergency accommodation in B&Bs. I know of people with young children who have been on there for many, many years - it’s terrible.

Such a sad situation. So many dogs are having to be rehomed due to broken relationships.

Glad a compromise has been reached.

Glad it’s all sorted as much as can be.

Just jumping in to say your daughter and children should stay put if they haven’t already left! If/when grandma comes back and requests them to leave they would become homeless through no fault of their own and be priority case with council.

Living with you could mean she is with you for years! Doesn’t seem to matter how overcrowded you may be! Well THAT is how it seems to work with my local council! Others may be different. I wouldn’t leave a home voluntarily though even if she spends a lot of time with you.

Oops just re read and she has already left - ignore my useless post. Hope it all works out x

What a dilemma MyLittleCherubs! Personally I would insist she finds someone to care for the dogs, easier said then done I know. I wouldn’t entertain the dogs, but I would explain you are happy to help her with the children as much as possible. If she is struggling with the children the dogs are not helping her. The break up with her partner is heartbreaking for her and if he isn’t taking any responsibility it’s even more hard on you all. Make it clear you cannot take on the dogs.

OMG I don't think I could even cope with my OWN small dogs with that many people and babies in the house!!!

@MyLittleCherubs Oh great news and well done!

I'd certainly seek advice from the Dogs Trust. It's unfair to your own pets to take 2 large dogs in to your house. Also, when your daughter decides it is time to find a place of her own,she will have great difficulty finding a rental home that will accept dogs , doesn't matter how well behaved they are.
From the sounds of it, her ex partner just wants her and anything to do with her out of his life, having been through something similar, I can say that if he can find something to blame her for or hurt her more , he will, including who has their pets. Otherwise there is very little reason, in my view why he can't still take care of the dogs and allow her visitation rights!
Sorry, but you are going to have to be tough with her, however hard it is as it is your home. If no other friends or relatives will take in the dogs, they may well have to be rehomed.

Oops sorry, just read through the comments again and so glad that a compromise has been reached.
Where is the delete option for comments when you need one ?

She is one exceptionally lucky woman to have a ready made home willing and able to accept her and two children. Dogs as well?...

Yes im with Hetty58,surely she has a home already? Can she not stay in that if she wants to keep her dogs?(theres help with housing benefit for single parents) Or if they are having to sell the home can she find a smaller accomadation to buy or rent? You really cant cave in on this,tell her straight,you cant cope with all of them with large dogs too,so you might have to find a way to help her get different accommodation.other single mums survive on their own even with young children.and dogs.

So glad you have come to a compromise

Well done lets hope the solution works well!(i now see she "works with dogs" so could someone in her working environment have helped temporary with the dogs also?perhaps something to consider if arrangement with hubby breaks down?) Seems a bit though like the couple care for dogs more than babies

I don’t know about where you live but here our council only allow 2 dogs on any property (I live in Australia) ....regardless I think your daughter should get her priorities in order, you are already giving her and your grandchildren a home and probably helping her out financially, expecting you to take on two large dogs is not fair. Trying to coerce you is also not fair.
If she has no friends who can take them in the short term then she will have to look at finding permanent new homes for them. It is hard, I know but if she is going to eventually stand on her own as a single mother with two small children the chances are that she will be unable to afford to keep them