I’m new to gransnet and would like some help with a dilemma.
Our daughter has 2 very small babies and the father after many years together has just decided he no longer wants to be in a relationship. This has only just happened and we are trying to support our daughter through this as she is still very young and she and our grandchildren have just moved back home with us. Reconciliation with her partner does not appear to be an option. The children are only age 18 months and 3 months and obviously this is very upsetting for her but she is committed to “ getting on with it” as her children are her priority.
Obviously we are helping a lot especially in the early days and luckily the babies are very good and sleep well.
We are in our early 50’s and both still work but our biggest problem is that our daughter wants to move her two large dogs in with us too and although we are not against animals, we already have 2 small dogs of our own and a cat. I feel it would be too much to cope with and unfair to our existing pets.
We have worked hard to have have a nice home and we can accommodate my daughter and grandchildren so hopefully they will have a stable home. She will in time move into her own house but she needs help at the moment especially as they are so young.
My opinion of their father I am unable to post on here and frankly I don’t want to waste my breath on him BUT my daughter is in bits regarding leaving her dogs behind and as she has had these for years she is really upset and keeps saying they will be good , she will look after them and clean up their mess etc .... BUT we really don’t want them and she is struggling to accept that and thinks she can probably win us round.
These are very large dogs compared to ours also.
Her partner says he’s not having them either , so the guilt trip is starting to happen and I don’t know how true this is - he will still be seeing the children ( well until that novelty wears off too !).
Please has anyone any advise to help our daughter understand that it’s not practical for us to have the dogs as well as our own pets and although none of this is her fault we are struggling with adding to her stress by not having the dogs - she is still in hope that we will have them. I really don’t know how to say a firm and fair no , one that she will accept and understand anyway without breaking down in tears.
Thank you for any advice you can give .
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