I'm so cross

Lol Granny23!! :D

ReadyMeals He already has a kitten than purrs but won't allow it on the bed! I think he would be pleased to cuddle up to a life sized, inflatable, doll with big boobies, but have not got the brass neck to propose this solution to the Care Home Staff

Don’t do anything. Muttering when he is woken up and tired is a normal reaction. You have enough to contend with without causing another unnecessary issue.

Granny23 has anyone tried giving him a teddy bear or doll to take to bed? Just a thought.

Years ago, my non swearing OH, sitting bolt upright, poked me in the ribs and boomed out "Take a letter to * and tell the effin barstewered that mumble, mumble, mumble.......He promptly went back to sleep, leaving me completely bemused.

We later had the 2 singles together combo, but having no spare room, it was the couch in the living room for me if his snoring or my RLS disturbed our night. Later still when his dementia set in, he totally refused to sleep alone, which meant that every night entailed broken sleep for both of us.

Now that he is settled in a care home, the staff are struggling to get him into a routine of sleeping alone in his single bedded room. He sleeps easily in his reclining chair in the lounge, day or night, but cannot settle to sleep alone in his wee room.

I do think they should start their sleep in separate rooms too. The way it is now, they have almost planned that they'll wake each other up and go to another room half way through the night. I am sure that can't be very good sleep quality for the OP and her husband. The first half of the night must not be very deep sleep since in their subconcious they know there is a disturbance coming up before they can finally settle

Is it every night? If so could you make a separate room for one of you on a permanent basis? A friend of mine told me having separate bedrooms saved his marriage!!

When we go on holiday, self catering, we have separate bedrooms, bliss! He coughs, I snore. He refuses to use ear plugs.
He falls asleep frequently throughout the day, but stays up late watching TV, wide awake from about 10pm, have slept through some of his favourite programmes earlier. Crazy.

At home, he has the second big bedroom as his study, so I don’t see why I should move out and he have the use of both big rooms.
However, I have shot myself in the foot now, as I have just converted the small bedroom into my study, though I have kept the single bed in it, so if anyone is going in there it will have to be more. Today the bed is covered in papers- must get it clear.
We also have a z bed in a downstairs room, with en suite loo and shower, ready for emergencies. He could use that.

Lyndiloo disaster indeed. Having guests and not sleeping properly. We have that too. Not a good combination.

I cough. He snores - but worse than that - he talks in his sleep!

We were constantly waking each other up. Separate rooms now, and although we both miss having someone to cuddle up to, we sleep so much better.

When we have guests, however, we have to move back into the same room. Disaster! Apart from the snoring and the talking, he wakes up for a wee, and switches the overhead light on!

Pp mentioned only spilling sweet water and that's the attitude I had when I got cross.
However in my dh 's real world his career was spent in the armed forces and swearing like a trooper comes to mind.

Both me and my husband cough, and snore if we roll onto our backs. We would never dream of sleeping in separate rooms, despite the occasional wakening from partner noise. I guarantee we would both sleep worse from being apart than from the occasional sleep disruption. We have been married for 30 years and can count on one hand the times we have slept separately in that time (always because we are in different places). As my husband says, he actually likes the snoring because he knows I am alive and well - and I agree with him.

I appreciate how annoying it is to be disturbed and not to get enough sleep but - my bed is big andhalf empty and my snoring, farting husband is not in the spare room. I would give anything to have him to cuddle asleep with even if he was noisy in the night. Being a widow since I was 51 has been hard. Bedtime closeness is so precious.

Have never heard my DDH swear, let alone say FFS-just saying. . . I read somewhere once that if a cup is filled with sweet water, if suddenly jarred, it can still only spill sweet water.

RocknRoll
Thank you. How come you all knew and I didn't?

Separate bedrooms is the answer here. I know of many couples who have this very sensible arrangement.
We are not at that stage but do have a single bed each pushed together. Nothing better that your own bed, duvet and space.

I would not worry about the ffs. It is awful if neither of you get a good nights sleep and it will make you both tired and grumpy. Friends of mine now sleep in separate rooms. The husband and wife snored and she also had difficulty with Restless Legs. They sat down and talked about it and decided to sleep in separate bedrooms. They have never looked back and both have better sleep as a result.

Coolgran65 - Just want to pick up on your cough which you say is likely to be permanent - you would not by any chance be taking Ramipril for hypertension would you? This is a drug known to cause a cough which is really debilitating, just at the point when you put your head on the pillow. If you are you can change this for any other ACE inhibitor - candesartan is just as good and there's no cough with it. Good luck.

We all grump when we are tired. Separate rooms way to go.
We each have a double bedroom with our own tv.
We sleep separately but often read together first or chat together in the morning in my bed. (OH has a hard mattress. ) We miss sleeping together but you have to be sensible. Losing sleep isn't good.

I so empathise! I cough terribly about 2 am,if my asthma is bad. DH snores every single night so I never have an undisturbed night. If he is really bad I decant to the spare room or sofa .
However , if I dare to cough and disturb him then I am greeted with chunters and moans and he never offers to move and let me have a snore free night! Grrrrrr !

I'd be more worried about the snoring. I made my lodger go to the doctor about his - it was so loud! He had to wear a sleep monitor and was diagnosed with sleep apnea. Now he has to use a CPAP machine to keep his airway open at night and ensure that he gets enough oxygen!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I’ve written elsewhere about sorting my diet out and sleeping better as a result. That’s only half the story - four years ago I was sleeping barely two and a half hours a night in small bursts. I was working full time with a 40 minute drive each way. But I would fall asleep everywhere for brief periods, often not knowing I was doing it. I cut out added sugar and all bread, cakes, biscuits, sweets, chocolate and ate only ‘clean’ fresh and fairly plain food. Hurrah, my body detoxed and I started to res more, which lead to sleeping more. By not allowing myself to look at the clock, not getting up other than for a quick wee I managed to train myself to sleep again. I now have around seven hours a night without a problem. I’d also agree with the post about new synthetic pillows (I use memory crumb as you don’t overheat with them) and always having fresh air and not getting too hot.

I'm another who also spends a few nights a week in our spare room when either myself or husband disturbs my sleep. Better to get some sleep than none. My hubby is a sweet man but he swears like a trouper in his sleep too.

Eat plugs and then I won't hear the ffs.