7of3, it's always better to talk, face to face, rather than text. It easily reads as harsh criticism.
Maybe your grandson is better behaved when you're not there? My eldest was a little horror when he had to compete for my attention. I did discipline him, though. With no guidance, I don't see how they grow out of it.
As an adult, criticism from your own mother really hurts. You'd be more likely to see her if you offer help and hold your tongue. Everyone has their own style of parenting. (Mind you, I'd stop a child from hitting, kicking or spitting, I'd just have to.)
Is she struggling with finances or relationships, do you think? We might distance ourselves to avoid parents noticing.
Finally, is there another way to meet with her, maybe half way, or by train instead of car? Do whatever makes it easier. Don't forget to tell her that you love her!
What is a reasonable minimum spend for an online grocery delivery??
Angela Rayner lashes out and calls Sunak “pint sized loser”.