My daughter was so very close to me, like you couldn’t cut the strings. Although I raised her very independent she always lived for me to be around. But now she goes through these stages of distance. She doesn’t answer the phone or hardly text back. The last couple months I tried to come visit she had one excuse after another. Then I was flying in late, I live far from airport and said I was stay the night at her place. All was okay. When I got to their place I had the code to get in and went to the guest bedroom. There was an ornament in a gift bag. A picture of a sonogram that said Santa baby! I was so happy. They need another child because the whole world revolves around the first. I text her about it and do they know the sex. She tells me that morning not to talk about it because J wants to tell me 🤦🏻♀️. So I wait, I go to church with them, lunch and spend time and no word about it. I love my grandson but they let him do what every, tell everyone to stop talking, demands it, kicks the back seat (he rules where we sit), throws things, does what ever he wants to be distractive, plus got a pen and marked on my purse. It is stressful to visit and her is a wreck. I use to clean for her but gave up. J ask me why I am not staying longer but I have responsibilities and have a long drive (plus it’s stressful). Before leaving I ask again about the baby sex, daughter says I guess you’ll have to come again for him to tell you 🤦🏻♀️.
This is frustrating, they need to have that baby as a daily conversation with him or I’m afraid he’ll be unruly to it.
Ok, I went against all rules and texted her my feelings (she will not answer the phone bc J needs all her attention). I wrote;
“I know you are over worked and have a lot on your plate but it bothers me how distant you’ve been. I’ve taught you all to be independent maybe too much and will minded. One needs to watch what they reap, when your children grow they will be the same if not more. I always try to give you the importance of family being around with aunt Ellen & uncle Grady, and believe we went to see them 98% the time and always accepted a call. I am your mom so you can’t keep me that distant.
I worry that Jax needs more guidance on how to act, it is stressful that everything goes in a child’s control. Do you think all the sudden a baby comes he will be passive. The disrespect of spitting, kicking, throwing, and destroying property will not just all the sudden go away. As I mention, you all need to have this baby a daily part of your life now in conversation maybe in play.
So your place will be nice for your new boarder I’d like to come over and help you a day clean, pick up & help out. Jax can participate, we can make it a game. Believe or not I’m getting older I’d like to be around more but my eyes or nerves can’t take the long crazy city traffic driving & I get tired easily. It’s not the same so everything is slower. I just want to help some way.
Love you, J & dH 🤗💕😘”
The new grandbaby is due in mid March. Now I fear she’ll never reach out.
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