Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Present ideas for a gran spending Christmas alone

(62 Posts)
Rosierabbit Thu 12-Dec-19 22:10:07

Hello everyone
My granny in law is choosing to spend Christmas alone this year. Her husband died a few years ago and she is still really grieving for him, she feels like his spirit is in the house with her and she doesn't want to be away from that on Christmas day. I totally understand how she must feel, they were married for around 60 years. I know it will be a very painful day for her and want to give her a gift she can enjoy without reminding her she is alone. Any ideas on what I could gift?
Thank you in advance for all your help.

Grannyknot Thu 12-Dec-19 22:15:02

Rosie does she like cake or sweet stuff? I sent someone a gift of freshly baked chocolate brownies in the post and they were over the moon with them. Will find where they were from and post if you're interested.

B9exchange Thu 12-Dec-19 22:16:42

Something to look forward to in the New Year? How about an afternoon tea voucher for the pair of you?

Plus arrange to Skype her on the day so she can watch you open her present to you (if she has given you one?)

Doodle Thu 12-Dec-19 22:20:27

Does she have a DVD player? A box set of something she likes.

Luckygirl Thu 12-Dec-19 22:20:47

In my experience people of that sort of age have grown out of being excited with "stuff" - but flowers are always welcome I think. You can send these letterbox flowers now so she would not have to have a great big bunch arriving by courier. I sent some to my DD and they really were lovely and of a manageable size.

Pophleys Thu 12-Dec-19 22:22:19

I spent a Christmas alone by choice when I was grieving too.I appreciated most photos sent to me of my grandchildren with messages.Definitely brought a smile to my face plus a beautiful bunch of flowers that I was given ,.I also was given by my daughters tickets to go with them to a show in the New Year which gave me something to look forward to.

BlueBelle Fri 13-Dec-19 01:18:02

I think flowers are always warmly received I don’t want to put a dampener on your idea Luckygirl but I used letterbox flowers a few months ago maybe I was unlucky, but they were very poor and I wouldn’t waste my money on them again I thought the pictures of what to expect looked lovely but they didn’t live up at all
I think B9 s idea of a tea out after Christmas as something nice to look forward to is also a good one
I can understand her wanting to stay put

Humbertbear Fri 13-Dec-19 07:35:10

Have you thought about a box of useful things (or luxuries if you prefer). Tea, biscuits, shower gel, a paper back, a small plant, a shawl, chocolates. Maybe something to open with breakfast, then elevenses, lunch, tea, bedtime.

J52 Fri 13-Dec-19 08:24:32

A collection of goodies, but with a twist, each gift could have a time of day to open it. Possibly with a little message -

So early morning lovely tea in a pretty caddy ( or mug ), later shower gel, mid morning lovely family photo in frame. Etc....
The little messages would be personal from you.

That way she knows you are there with her in though and deed.

J52 Fri 13-Dec-19 08:26:26

Sorry Humbertbear I didn’t read the whole thread! In too much of a hurry.
But, great minds think alike!

J52 Fri 13-Dec-19 08:27:15

The reverse of that is ‘fools seldom differ’ 🤣

Summerstorm Fri 13-Dec-19 10:44:25

Because she wants to be in her own home on Christmas Day doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to be alone. A short visit at some point during the day I’m sure would be appreciated. A lot of my family work on Christmas Day but my dil brought my dgc along for a quick visit after breakfast and we all exchanged presents. Later that day another sil and dgd arrived unexpectedly with a lovely Christmas lunch all beautifully prepared and just had to pop in the microwave. I think it was the thoughtfulness of these family members that meant even more than the food and gifts

jaylucy Fri 13-Dec-19 10:47:43

How about a nice food hamper with some lovely treats?
Or if you can get hold of DVDs of films that were showing when they were young? At the very least, there is A Wonderful Life, White Christmas and Holiday Inn available.

Aepgirl Fri 13-Dec-19 10:52:22

Don’t give her sweets or biscuits - just because she is elderly doesn’t mean she doesn’t want nice things. How about a cheerful cardigan, or something fancy like leather gloves - and of course a visit from you.

4allweknow Fri 13-Dec-19 11:08:07

Small package of flowers eg box of flowers on line and if funds permit what about a magazine subscription.

Photocrazy Fri 13-Dec-19 11:12:30

Does she live near enough for you to take a Christmas dinner?

mischief Fri 13-Dec-19 11:15:46

I've just bought some lovely truffle cheddar cheese and grain biscuits for a friend. I hope she likes them.

Vintagegirl Fri 13-Dec-19 11:18:57

A basket of upmarket food items, such as soup, pickle/chutney. A florist might supply some cellophane/ribbon to wrap even some straw to bed it down. If you dont have a spare basket item, you could cover a make a hamper from a cardboard box and cover with Christmas paper.

NannyG123 Fri 13-Dec-19 11:32:36

Does she like a certain drink perhaps, and you could make up a food hamper of het favourite foods. With some little treats .

JujuD Fri 13-Dec-19 11:33:45

Go and spend Christmas with her so she isn't alone! A no-brainer!

Ngaio1 Fri 13-Dec-19 11:36:26

Audio books? I find them a great solace.

polnan Fri 13-Dec-19 11:53:09

my first Christmas with dh dead now.. very recently, I don`t want to be alone, going to eldest ds and dil, and gks, and youngest ds and dil also coming..
that is Christmas Day, but then the rest of the Christmas and New Year.. don`t like being alone, but also not yet ready to join a large group, like at church

craftyone Fri 13-Dec-19 12:00:29

I am widowed and spending most of christmas alone. The gift I would like best would be small wrapped gifts, one for each day of christmas week. Craft chocolates in a lttle box, a small wordsearch book, a small bottle of prosecco etc nothing permanent and nothing in the normal family food line

Blinko Fri 13-Dec-19 12:01:39

Polnan so sorry for your recent loss. I hope that you find some comfort with your family this Christmas. Wishing you well flowers

Esther1 Fri 13-Dec-19 12:04:01

I believe that the only thing elderly people really want is people’s time. I absolutely understand her wanting to stay in her home on Christmas Day but perhaps you could phone her (or arrange a short visit from somebody) and her present would be a voucher or home made invitation for an outing for her on a specific date not too far ahead so that she could look forward to that and know that people want to spend time with her.