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Present ideas for a gran spending Christmas alone

(63 Posts)
Rosierabbit Thu 12-Dec-19 22:10:07

Hello everyone
My granny in law is choosing to spend Christmas alone this year. Her husband died a few years ago and she is still really grieving for him, she feels like his spirit is in the house with her and she doesn't want to be away from that on Christmas day. I totally understand how she must feel, they were married for around 60 years. I know it will be a very painful day for her and want to give her a gift she can enjoy without reminding her she is alone. Any ideas on what I could gift?
Thank you in advance for all your help.

craftyone Fri 13-Dec-19 12:05:50

just to add that she will not want anything that costs too much. She sounds likely to be alone the whole week, so a small treat a day will give her something to look forward too. I completely understand her wanting to be alone, no-one wants to be the granny to be taken in by someone for christmas. The one who sits in a corner, trying to be invisible but all the time wanting to get back home, to her own nest

Tiny1 Fri 13-Dec-19 12:52:44

How about trying to get a photo of them and put it in a nice new frame? It’s a bit late to suggest you do a scrap book with photos and little funny stories to go with them for happy memories. It’s a matter of personal choice without knowing what she likes or doesn’t like. Some music from the year they got married? The last thing she will do, no matter what you do, is forget him and the life they shared. You can’t take away her sadness. She has chosen to be alone, she will be sad no matter what. I would be the same . Whatever brings her comfort and then a little treat of chocs or a CD she can get engrossed in? It’s hard for you, I know. Then, the best thing you can give her after the day, is your time x

Freemind Fri 13-Dec-19 13:18:47

A digital photo frame with loads of family photos loaded- including those of happy times with the person they will be missing at this time of year.

Brigidsdaughter Fri 13-Dec-19 13:26:02

juju you dont just 'go'. If she wanted to share, she'd have invited.
It sounds sad but probably comforting to her to be in their home, no putting on a face, etc

grandtanteJE65 Fri 13-Dec-19 13:28:24

I once gave my elderly aunt a home-made gift token saying that I would come when it suited her and clean out the cupboards she had difficulty reaching down to, as she no longer could kneel on the kitchen floor.

She greatly appreciated the thought, and I did clean those cupboards.

Something similar might be appreciated, perhaps.

Rocknroll5me Fri 13-Dec-19 13:37:38

I think Pophleys got the right idea. all three of them ; messages from grandchildren, flowers and an event to look forward to - brilliant Its what I'd want.

pinkquartz Fri 13-Dec-19 14:01:38

what about Audiobooks?

Juicylucy Fri 13-Dec-19 14:40:49

Just because she wants to spend Christmas in her home she may well still be lonely on the day, could you not pop in with cake and share a cuppa and a chat with her, that would be my suggestion.... your time.rather than material goods.

BeenBizzy Fri 13-Dec-19 16:17:20

I chose to be alone on Christmas day last year. My son and grandkids came on Boxing day.
That suited me fine. I wanted to be alone with my memories. It's was only a few weeks since I had lost my
dearest husband after 51 years.
When the kids came with prezzys, there was no food stuffs to remind me I was a solo.
There were flowers, bath smellys, a rather nice brooch........
This year I am going away..... On a solo holiday, just 4 days in the UK.
I am looking forward to this trip, but a little anxious all the same.
The kids will visit me on the 28th.....and I have a pal coming over for New Year.

moobox Fri 13-Dec-19 17:07:36

I have just arranged 6 months of letterbox flower deliveries for my mum, in this case to start after Christmas as she won't be alone. I got a discount code for Bloom and Wild online

Tibbs Fri 13-Dec-19 17:17:08

Choose 12 small gifts to be opened on the 1st of every month. Lasts all year & something to look forward to.

Merryweather Fri 13-Dec-19 17:54:58

How about a digital photo display loaded with photos of all the family. if you have their wedding day photo, why not enhance it and include it too. She’ll then have a rolling display of all the family to enjoy all day and every day, which can be updated at any time.
Merry Christmas xx

craftyone Fri 13-Dec-19 18:03:46

photos, personally I would not want photos, just too sad and a daily reminder. Something cheery would be nice, one of the old comedy films for one of the days. Not photos to make her mope. I am in a similar position, although not as elderly. Some of us widows do prefer to be on our own during the family celebration season

whywhywhy Fri 13-Dec-19 18:04:26

If you know what she likes in the shape of food, sweets and drinks then put her a hamper together. My mam was exactly the same. She came to us the first year after my dad died but never again. She said that she actually preferred being on her own over the festive period.

BusterTank Fri 13-Dec-19 19:39:26

Make her a food hamper im sure she would appreciate it .

billericaylady Fri 13-Dec-19 23:50:59

Not sure how much you would like to spend or if your Nan is able but what about a couple of months subscripion to Ancestry.com They do introductory offers too smile

welbeck Sat 14-Dec-19 00:51:57

every one is individual.
I am struck by how some people on here are confidently stating what an unknown person would/not like.
do not go to see her if she specifically wants to be alone.
as for gifts, maybe a Fortnum and masons hamper or similar if you can afford it, to be delivered.
a good and varied selection of crackers for late night nibbling. some mixed tipples maybe, depending on taste.
,gin n tonic in little cans.
photos can be tricky.
maybe a nice notecard/ writing set, with a good supply of stamps, and pens, if she still writes to people.
a nice diary. sketching book and pencils. crafty things to do.
perhaps a journal subscription, with current issue, national geographic, if she likes that kind of thing, and reads. that one is good as varied content with many stunning pictures.
similar browse-able coffee-table books.
good luck to you all. be led by her.

travelsafar Sat 14-Dec-19 08:52:52

If it were me it would be some luxury chocs to indulge over the Christmas period, not too many, just a small box, a single bottle of baileys or similar , the ones you can buy in a set usually with a glass. Some dried fruit and nuts in a gift set with dried pineaple, etc not the usual dried fruit and nuts, and maybe a small christmas cake. All these items would be used over the period of Christmas and New Year. They are things that i probably would not buy for myself if i were alone.

Hetty58 Sat 14-Dec-19 09:16:23

I'd caution against photos. I have loads of family photos upstairs - in a box under a bed - along with albums to put them in 'one day'.

Why haven't I done it? I feel as if my heart would break, so not yet, but maybe one day!

dragonfly46 Sat 14-Dec-19 09:21:19

I am surprised at you being disappointed by Bloom and Wild letterbox flowers Bluebell. I get them every month courtesy of my DD and they are lovely and last longer than anybody else’s.

H1954 Sat 14-Dec-19 09:25:50

That's a great idea Humbertbear, I was going to suggest a hamper of the things Granny likes but your suggestion puts a new twist on that. Think I will be trying that myself for the people I normally do hampers for.

Mal44 Sat 14-Dec-19 13:44:37

Just wanted to say that I have received several gifts of letterbox flowers from Bloom and Wild and have never been disappointed and they have lasted for two or three weeks.

craftyone Sun 15-Dec-19 11:54:01

I have been very disappointed by bloom and wild flowers. i bought myself a sub last year, never again. The quality was very below par. They were good when they started as a company but not now

I have bought myself a present for under my tree. QVCUK have on tsv today an amazon hd10 tablet. It will be perfect for my kindle books and my audible books. Now that really is a treat

Patsy70 Fri 20-Dec-19 18:17:36

Let us know what you decide to buy your Granny, Rosierabbit. There are some good ideas here, but you know her taste and what she would appreciate. Personally, I would choose flowers (delivered by her best local florist) and an outing with you - cream tea/lunch/visit to a National Trust property/garden maybe sometime soon.

Treenymph Fri 20-Dec-19 19:12:09

How about a day in a box start with a luxury bubble bath or shower gel. A small bottle of bucks fizz,eggs and smoked salmon pieces to make Christmas breakfast.good coffee and mince pie for mid morning. Mini wine or special softdrink to go with lunch. After eights. A mini Christmas cake and a nice afternoon tea blend. Her favorite sweets to watch TV with during the evening. Then a nice hot chocolate, marshmallows or her favorite biscuits for bedtime.