Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Funny things grandchildren say

(90 Posts)
granbabies123 Mon 30-Dec-19 13:13:46

We have just had a wonderful few days with Ds ,Dil and 3 lovely Gc,
We live in Yorkshire they live in Essex so visits not that often but always delightful.
After first night sleeping in their cabin Grandad went indoors and the two youngest arrived to see if I was awake ,bounced on the bed and dived in for hugs.
Gs age 8 says,"shall I tell you a fact Grandma"? To which I thought, here goes with some 8 year old wisdom.
"Your boobs make lovely cushions" was his remark, " they're great to cuddle up to".
Well there was no answer to that just howls of laughter.
Anyone else's loved little ones made you laugh these holidays?

Tedber Tue 31-Dec-19 18:19:01

Hahaha all so funny!

Another one of mine was... in our local woods where we walk the dog often, someone had put up a half jar of honey with a
note saying “this is for the fairies”. The next time the jar had been removed with a note saying “Thank you so much , the fairies really enjoyed it”

My granddaughter (then 6) whispered to me “ I don’t think fairies took it at all! Me (thinking she had outgrown the magic). Oh. So who do YOU think took the honey?

Her reply: I think it was the badgers!!! ?.

Had to keep a straight face. No badgers in our part of the country as far as I know lol

Love things kids say - keep them coming x

icanhandthemback Tue 31-Dec-19 17:10:04

My autistic grandson has just started talking which is a relief. He has spent the day saying, “Good Job,” every time I do something for him. His manners are lovely, he says, “Tatty you” for thank you each time you give him something or even change his nappy.

Kate63 Tue 31-Dec-19 17:08:10

Christmas Eve whilst we walked to the Christingle at our Grandsons' church our eldest was busy chatting away to me. Grandma you do know that there is no such thing as the Tooth Fairy. Well I said I think Santa would have something to say about that! No, Grandma he just keeps it up for children like my little brother who believe in her. So sweet at 10 & 1/2 to still firmly believe in Santa!! I think!! Made me chuckle.

Eternaloptimist Tue 31-Dec-19 16:36:02

From when my daughter was tiny, she used to come and perch on the loo to chat whilst I was having a bath. When she was about three she was in the bathroom with me as usual chatting when I saw her gaze sharpen and I wondered what she was looking at, having seen it all before. I suddenly thought that for the first time she had noticed the difference between my body and hers, so I said “you know, when you grow up and become a young lady, you’ll look like this too”. To which she replied “oh good, I’ve always wanted to wear earrings” !!!

MadeInYorkshire Tue 31-Dec-19 16:06:16

Mine had a meltdown once when shopping, sat down on the floor and shouted "I am NOT going into Marks and Spensives" again - of course it has been called that ever since!

Another time we were in JL and a very dark skinned lady at the till was wearing a very lurid green eye shadow, DD shouts (and she still does! Has no library voice!) "Mummy, why has that lady got her face painted?"

The young son of a friend of mine was taken to his first football match by his Dad, and of course heard some colourful language for the duration of the match. Roll on a few months and fortunately he hadn't repeated any of it until one day whilst in the local cafe he asked to go to the loo - so his Mum said fine you go (you could see the door etc from the table), you'll be fine, don't forget to wash your hands etc .... so off he trotted, only to open the door shortly afterwards shouting "Mummy, there's no fucking toilet paper!" Ground swallows Mummy up!

cmwmoonshine Tue 31-Dec-19 16:02:40

My 18yr old autistic daughter said to me the other day "mum you have got tinsel in your hair" !!!
She was talking about the grey

Billybob4491 Tue 31-Dec-19 15:46:37

When my daughter was about 6 she was cast in the role of Mary in the Nativity at school. The room was packed with parents, all went well but unfortunately she dropped baby Jesus. I gasped with horror, but she calmly stood up and said to all assembled "don't worry everyone its only a doll not a real baby"! Then she said to one of the shepherds, carry on its ok. I was traumatised for years after that little episode.

4allweknow Tue 31-Dec-19 15:07:21

NinaRosa I have a dentist appointment next week. I am sure I will be chuckling if the dentist asks me the same!

Merryweather Tue 31-Dec-19 14:42:58

My youngest has a bit of a lisp and slight speech impediment. When she was about two she couldn’t say socks - it came out as fucks. Cue my horror in a crowded clothes shop one day when of course at full volume she shouted “fucks mommy, lots of fucks” ?

sarahellenwhitney Tue 31-Dec-19 14:33:58

On one new years eve there happened to be a showing of the film The Vikings.My eldest,five years old at the time ,said to my father 'Grandad were you a Viking?. We thought it hilarious but could never understand where any likeness, my father never having a beard and a very gentle natured person ,came into it.

Saggi Tue 31-Dec-19 14:32:53

My grandson when he was 3 and doing ‘the wall-walk’ after I had picked him up from nursery one day, said to me “ will you always be there to hold my hand when I walk on walls Nanny?’ .....I smiled and said “yes” ...to which he replied “ even when I’m 16’. I assured him that I would willingly hold his hand when he was 16 if he wanted me to. He seemed happy about that. He no longer walks on walls as he’s now 12...but occasionally he will take my hand when walking beside me even though he’s an inch taller! Maybe not funny but very anecdote!

LadyGracie Tue 31-Dec-19 14:20:26

I have one false tooth, granddaughter who is 3 tomorrow, 1st January, told me 'nanny you've lost your teeth go and find your teeth quick quick and I'll stay with grandad.'

overthehill Tue 31-Dec-19 14:15:00

We had our GS 11 years and GD 6 to stay overnight the other day.

GD said to her brother, "You didn't clean your teeth this morning". "Yes I did" he replied. She then went to his holdall and checked his toothbrush to find it was damp. "It's alright he did do them".

It comes to something when a 6 year old checks up on her big brother. We laughed.

Willow500 Tue 31-Dec-19 14:00:49

My grandsons are currently staying here from abroad and Mum & Dad left us in charge for a couple of days while they went away. As I'd not had chance to dry my hair the first morning I was still wearing a towel on it till after lunch. Next day my eldest gs (6) said Nana - I hope you're not going to spend all day in your turban again today grin

ReadyMeals Tue 31-Dec-19 13:53:36

jannxxx that reminds me of my two - they must have been about 9 and 6 at the time. I had read them a story that had two babies in it. I said at the end, "I had two babies" and they both excitedly chorused "Ohhhh!!! Where are they now???"

And my 3yr old grandson has learnt that he grew inside his mummy, and informed me of that fact. I replied that his mummy had grown inside me. He firmly corrected me by pointing out that mummy's too big to fit in me.

Dottynan Tue 31-Dec-19 13:47:29

We were standing on a bridge over a lake when a huge fish swam under. My daughter said "he'd be nice with some chips"

jannxxx Tue 31-Dec-19 13:32:57

nana your very good with babies do you have any of your own? i said yes a little boy eldest grandson said where is he now, i pointed to his 42 year old daddy and he wouldn't believe me,

crimpedhalo Tue 31-Dec-19 13:02:02

I've just returned from a short visit to see my son's new house. My nearly 4yo granddaughter took me upstairs to see her bedroom and I casually sat on her brand new double sleigh bed while she fetched some dolls from her playroom. As she entered the room her eyes popped out and she said I mustn't sit on her unicorn duvet cover as I would knacker it as she spent time making her own bed this morning. Oh how I laughed.

Jan51 Tue 31-Dec-19 12:33:43

My 12 year old grandson loves watching Harry Potter films. His 3 year old sister suddenly comes out with 'Can we watch Harry Potter, I love Harry Potter, he's my boyfriend'.
She is such an angelic looking child with a halo of blonde curls and makes my heart melt when she looks up from playing and says 'I love you Nanny'

Lxrl Tue 31-Dec-19 12:33:12

When we were children my younger sister who was maybe 5 or 6 at the time closely inspected my granny's face and, in a very matter-of-fact way, said "granny you haven't got any eyelashes." Next time we visited she was wearing those ridiculous costume false lashes with tiny sparkly gems on. Sister didn't see the funny side of it grin

JeannieB44 Tue 31-Dec-19 12:21:25

I always take my shoes off when I visit the family but as I was only collecting GS I hadn't. 4 year old GD very seriously showed me where I had to leave my shoes because mummy spent ages cleaning the floor when people didn't take their shoes off. My DILs face was a picture, apparently she had got annoyed because my son had pushed the messy pushchair in after a walk and GD had heard. It was funny.

PatriciaH Tue 31-Dec-19 12:20:58

I normally use a fairly inexpensive BB cream but treated myself to an expensive new foundation. My six year old old grandson looked at me very closely and said” grandma I’m not sure about your makeup! It’s very old fashioned” Well that’s that now firmly put in the back of the cupboard, never to appear again.

Antonia Tue 31-Dec-19 11:36:30

Not really a funny saying - but my four year old granddaughter had a serious meltdown in Asda because they had run out of .......seabass!!

Kartush Tue 31-Dec-19 11:29:22

Many years ago my grandson (4 at that time) and I were walking up our farm and came across a pile of horse droppings. He jumped over it and said “ that’s horse poo, we don’t step in horse poo hey grandma.” He then turned around looked me straight in the eye and dead serious said “ and we never eat it”

goose1964 Tue 31-Dec-19 11:28:49

Christmas eve I wore a black dress covered in santas, crushed velvet leggings and novelty elf slippers. I walked into the living room and DGS, nearly 3 said Oh look Granny's an elf.