Funny things grandchildren say

Our little Ddg aged about 3 could'nt pronounce her f's they were shopping in a supermarket one day when she shouted look mummy lots of slags!

Talking about macaroons this Christmas with Jackson aged 8 and Cooper aged 5 .

What is in macaroons do you think that makes them taste so good ? , I asked .

Jackson replied ‘almonds’ Nana.

Cooper , after some thought disagreed , ‘acorns’ he replied firmly !!

Milton Keynes will forever be referred to as 'Melted Cheese' now after DGD told us where she was going for her competition!

One of the titles of the Archbishop of Canterbury is 'Primate of All England' and my grandson, then 6 years old, having learned this at school came home quite puzzled to ask why a chimpanzee was in charge of a church.

I volunteer in a charity shop and a little girl and I got talking about Santa Clause. I asked her what are you hoping to get from Santa this year? To which she replied presents I couldn’t help but laugh as did the other customers.

I told

I might have posted this before, but it still makes me laugh. When my grandaughter was just beginning to talk she asked if she could have her milk and biscuit on the peekaboo. She meant the balcony. It old my friends.
Last night I had an invitation form a friend who lives in my building to spend NYE with Prosecco watching the fireworks- “on the peekaboo.”

GD was about 6 and she was doing a project for school, she had to ask GPs about their childhood and how they spent their leisure time.
I told GD we did not have TV so she asked if I watched my programmes on catch up on my computer. I don't think we did in 1950.

I was on a bus with my 3 DSs, when 2nd DS suddenly asked "Mum, in the war, did they evaporate children?"

He was about 6 at the time.

When my grand daughter was born, grandson aged 3 came into the bathroom while mum was in the bath. Be careful mummy you’ll spill babies milk was the comment when mummy lay down in the bath! Qqqqqqqq

My gd aged almost three wasn’t letting her mum clean her teeth at bedtime. Mum said, “Tomorrow you can just have bread and water. How will that be?” The bold little lady comes straight back with, “Good!” She keeps us all entertained ?

My 2 year old Aussie granddaughter was playing a pretend game of ‘visiting the zoo.’ She looked out of the window and said, in mock horror, “There’s an elephant in the swimming-pool, and he’s done a poo.” Then she added, reassuringly, “But it’s only a little poo!”

Antonia my daughter, now 26 had a full on tantrum in a supermarket, aged 3, when I said I wouldn’t be buying her salmon canapés today. A couple of elderly ladies were in hysterics with laughter. She ate no chocolate/sweets till her teens - her choice. Her daughter eats everything in sight. ?‍♀️

Coming home from school after having had a lesson on the birds and the bee's my GD told me that men put their peanuts into a lady' magina! Just about held it together.

Wishing everyone a Happy New Year. Personally I could really do with a better one than 2019.

The sayings of my youngest grandson in particular keep me chuckling. He remarked to his Mummy that, ‘It’s really difficult when you have two girlfriends and they don’t get on with each other. A should be more understanding because she’s got B for her second boyfriend and B and I get along. B has a second girlfriend and she’s in Year 2!’. Bless him, he’s 5 and three quarters. I expect he will sort it out before long.

Thank you Gransnetters for giving me big smiles today. NYE is a sad day for me but I've had the wonderful company of (autistic) DGS for 8 hours, bracketed by his dad bringing me flowers this morning and his mum bringing prosecco this afternoon. DGS brought cheer to our local shopping bus and its Jamaican driver this afternoon by singing along to a reggae hit on the radio and by wishing everyone who caught his eye a Happy New Year. I shall spend tomorrow with them and then be ready to face another year of ups and downs. I consider myself so lucky I managed to relocate near them soon after the little one was born and to be a part of their lives. Please forgive me if I sound maudlin but tonight is a time of looking back as well as forward and I'm excited about what the future can bring.

Just before he went home DGS asked if he could have a couple of items I have on my wall that belonged to my mother. I told him he could have them after I was dead. He wanted to know what day that will be ...

Happy New Year to you all

I don't have grandchildren yet but l am a private music teacher with pupils of all ages. At the last lesson before Christmas my custom is to give each pupil a card with two chocolates. A seven year old pupil told me that a friend of his was allergic to chocolate. He obviously thought that this was a poor deal. His five year old brother (who was, of course, also gives sweets despite not being a pupil) was not to be outdone. He told me his friend was allergic to kissing!

I looked after my nearly 4 year old grandson and one year old grandson today. They were very well behaved until the last half an hour when the older boy became too rough, kicking out and nearly kicked his brothers face and caught me a hard kick in the stomach. I told him he needed to be more careful with people and to stop being so rough. When his mum came home he told his mum, 'I was a bit good but then I was not nice to nanny and my brother and I need to think about it'....cute as you like!

When my step grandson was small he got a toy castle for Christmas. He told us it had lots of soldiers, but one was really special as he was ‘ a shite in knighting armour’! We howled with laughter!

DD

When my dad was small and she was switching channels my ds piped up and said don’t do that mummy wants to watch Olivia lukewarm John, another time we were getting ready to go to seaside my daughter said Are we going to Yarmouth or Walking on the knees instead of Walton on the naze

Did they have electricity when you were a girl, Mummy? Why have you got lines on your face, Granny? The most embarrassing years ago was in the butcher's where we saw a one-legged man. Loud cries of "Where's his other leg?" from my daughter.

P.S. Until that mortifying moment I'd had a rather hot crush on my dentist .

I just love this thread! Read most of them out loud to my husband, who also thought they were hilarious.

Our 7 month old grandson said his first words last week:”Hello darling!” Well, everyone says it to him all the time, so I’m not surprised he repeated it! He talks all the time, but apart from that one time, nobody can understand a word he says, which must be very frustrating for him, as he knows perfectly well what he’s saying!

when I'd roasted a chicken recently for 6year old grandson and his 3year old sister I was asked a) if I'd stuffed a lemon up its bum ) and b) had a rubbed the skin with butter before it went in the oven. When I said I hadn't, he put his hands on his hips and asked if I'd ever watched a Jamie Oliver video on how to cook a chicken!!!! He did have the grace to tell me it was delicious when he ate it.