rude or not

@phoenix. What OP said was

Daughter sent facebook message to say the items were not to grandaughters liking

Not clear whether FB or Messenger.

Am surprised so many of you suggest vouchers. Why? You may as well give hard cash, that is what they want. Shops can go bust overnight, then vouchers are wasted.
It’s hurtful when you try and choose something you think they would appreciate and they don’t like it, which is why cash is king. Have long since decided that opening an envelope is the safer option.

Lots of vouchers go un spent. Or with unused "change" on them. Agree cash is much better

Yes OP it was a rude response from your DD.
I buy pyjamas and clothes on a regular basis ( to help out) for teenage DGS.They are always pleased with them ( and I see him wearing them)
Row back on the gift giving, it doesn't seem to be appreciated.

Notanan

You maybe right, it may well be the last in a line of inappropriate gifts, but it was still handed badly and rudely.

In our family half the fun of Christmas used to be opening some of the often bizarre presents they were given, and believe me, some of them were awful!

But we knew they were given out of kindness, and polite Thankyou notes were sent, no one gets everything right at Christmas, myself included, but I’m sure we all try our best.

Why would you want to receive and pretend to like awful stuff?

I think it best not to second guess, especially with a teen.

Very bad manners.

I once left mince pies for someone housesitting for a neighbour only to be told he didn't like mince pies. He could have just quietly popped them in the bin and said 'thank you'. Needless to say, I didn't bother on subsequent occasions.

It's difficult to know what to buy for youngsters as they get older. Better for the daughter and granddaughter to provide information in future about what the GD would like.

Perhaps a good idea to take GD shopping instead. I chicken out of buying gifts for the youngsters I don't see very often, and thus don't know their likes, and buy gift cards.

I don’t suppose anyone likes to receive awful stuff, but if it’s been given out of kindness, just say Thankyou, or possibly as someone suggested previously, ask if you can have the receipt as they are the wrong size.

Okay, so I know it’s wasteful, but if it was my children, I’d rather that, than have them hurt someone’s feelings.

Why is it rude to say you don't like something? Do you say thank you and get the same sort of thing every birthday and Christmas forever? It just seems so odd to me. We would never get to know each other properly x

I had a gift handed back to me last year, told it wasn't suitable and was not liked. I posted on here about it and the general consensus was that it is unnecessarily rude.

This year I have been given a dreadful pair of "bling" earrings by my 6 year old granddaughter (personally chosen by her) which I will duly wear to give her pleasure. Also a rather ugly brooch by sister in law and a scarf in colours I don't wear! Both will be worn at some point when she is around. I would never want to hurt her, she is elderly and tries hard!

It’s rude, there are ways of doing things tactfully and kindly, we obviously don’t know the ins and outs of the situation, but it could have been handled better.

Not surprised you've had enough, I remember getting a jumper from my grandfather, I was 18 at the time and it definitely wasn't to my taste but I said thank you and that I loved it etc etc, even to this day (40 years later) I still have it (still not been worn) but now I couldn't bear to throw it out purely because it was a present from my Grandfather, the younger generation seen to be entitled these days

That would be my first reaction but then I’d like to think I would want to understand my grandchildren better.
My mother buys clothes for my grandson that we don’t like because we prefer natural fabrics and avoid logos and slogans which she loves.
Try to get to know your granddaughter better and see what was behind the rejection of your gift.Why not agree that as you are not sure of her taste anymore you will give a donation to her favourite charity next year!

I loathed the gifts I received from my parents and pretended I loved them. Why?

A 15 year old doesn't believe in Santa, but she would love a few quid and some make up.

Xrgran

Or why not just give HER the cash as that is what she will really want, I bet.

Nightwear is fashion too.

I personally am accustomed to being told something I have bought or made is unwanted and I am not at all offended. This is a simple statement of fact.

Grannyhall29

I know what you mean, sentimental lot aren’t we?

PS I also agree with Madgran. There are some people who would be offended and those I'd not return a present to unless they invited me to do so.

I agree that she would have preferred the money, and it would probably have been a better move.

But my problem is with ingratitude and rudeness, if we all went around saying what we really thought about some of our gifts, there wouldn’t be a family in the country still speaking.

What’s so bad about being kind?

It depends on relationships really doesnt it?

From the OP it doesnt sound like relations are good anyway

But in a good relationship I would like to be told so that my future gifts get used/enjoyed.

if we all went around saying what we really thought about some of our gifts, there wouldn’t be a family in the country still speaking.

I dont agree. DHs family are very matter if fact. If they say they like something they mean it and you know its the truth. If they dont like it they exchange it and show you what they got instead. Gift recipts are the done thing in their family and there's no malice in it at all. They are just a very practical bunch. And never fall out over it

Again, it depends on the relationship

I have always given PJs to the Grandchildren at Christmas , 16yr old asked me mid Dec if I was doing it this year , I hesitated and he was dissapointed so my Daughyers were dispatched to find the usual after all , lots of pics of them wearing the PJs
I did do the cash in the card bit as well

As we don’t know what the FB message actually said, I don’t know why so many assume that it was ‘rude’.
I think it’s best to be honest.
I did buy my 9 year old DGD a black velvet glittery top from John Lewis but told DD I had a gift receipt for it in case GD didn’t like it.

A friend of my D bought his Mother a present and this morning she is trying to sell it on Facebook which she knows he reads, they are friends on there, as an unwanted present.
Now that is rude and very hurtful.

Re the mince pie example, may be rude on face value, buy what if its the 5th batch theyve been given? How many do you bin before you do something about it?