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Spending significant birthday alone- ideas?

(31 Posts)
ineedamum Wed 01-Jan-20 11:38:29

This year, I will have a significant birthday and will be alone. I always find birthdays difficult, and this year will be no different.

I'm thinking of going away, any ideas of a fairly cheap getaway? Perhaps you have other ideas?

DoraMarr Wed 01-Jan-20 11:44:19

I hope you enjoy your birthday, whatever you do. Can I suggest that rather than endure the stresses of travelling abroad you choose a lovely country hotel a short distance away and spend a couple of days strolling through the grounds, eating delicious food and having a massage or a facial?

ineedamum Wed 01-Jan-20 11:48:29

That's a nice idea, would it look strange if I was alone?

I always assumed I would go abroad- where nobody knows me as I do feel shame at travelling alone.

Canalboatgranma Wed 01-Jan-20 11:49:11

Perhaps an organized short break, coach trip perhaps? Then you can interact with others, or not if you don't want to be sociable. Hope you enjoy your birthday whatever you do.

vinasol Wed 01-Jan-20 11:52:26

I think an organised coach trip sounds a good idea. Something like Shearings or the likes. I know they do mini breaks. Whatever you choose you do I hope that you have a lovely time.

Harris27 Wed 01-Jan-20 11:53:45

I too have a significant birthday at the end of January and I hope I will spend it with some family and friends, but if not I would treat myself to a days shopping and buy myself something really nice topped up with a delicious meal and glass of wine. My brother is on his own and does Shearings holidays short stay ones but he said everyone is lovely and often there’s others on their own as well.

DoraMarr Wed 01-Jan-20 11:54:38

Don’t be ashamed of being alone- you are a strong, independent woman! So many women of our age don’t seem to be able to do anything without their husbands, you can do just what you like because you are confident. I have stayed in hotels on my own and it’s fine. Just think of yourself as that interesting woman with the fascinating story!

Harris27 Wed 01-Jan-20 11:58:51

Well said dorramarr! Wish I could get away on my own!

jacq10 Wed 01-Jan-20 12:00:28

I did an organised short break by coach as suggested by Canalboatgranma. There was a mix of people and there were four men travelling solo and three women. It was to an area I hadn't visited before and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Although I was with a friend it opened my eyes to how easy it would have been if I had been on my own. No pressure to mix but everyone was very sociable. I am now planning to do a solo trip much to the family's surprise - probably a 3day/2nights one once the weather gets a bit warmer!!

BlueBelle Wed 01-Jan-20 12:11:06

I m going to do that next Christmas a 2 day break at a spa or something similar I might save up for centre parcs
Don’t be ashamed of being alone there are many reason a woman or a man are on their own and it’s no one business but yours
Enjoy yourself x

MerylStreep Wed 01-Jan-20 12:17:32

i do feel shame at travelling alone
When you have been on a plane/train/boat/bus and you see people travelling alone do you have any untoward feelings about them, probably not, 'these' people will have no negative feelings about you.
Personally, I love traveling alone. Except for the day the ash cloud came down and I was flying home from Germany. I had to get 2 trains to France to try and get on the Eurostar.
Not too bad you might think: but the only German I know is good morning/evening ?

Yehbutnobut Wed 01-Jan-20 12:19:34

Apart from taking yourself off for a special break why not also draw up a list of little pleasures to enjoy throughout this special year?

ineedamum Wed 01-Jan-20 12:19:53

Thanks, I have looked at the Shearings website and there are so many options at a reasonable price too. I've put my name down for the mailing list too until I decide, but I do love the countryside and Scotland in particular.

I feel shame at being alone because I'm too independent if that makes sense. I always hope things change every year, maybe this year it will.

DoraMarr Wed 01-Jan-20 12:33:19

If you like Scotland:
And I’ve stayed here:
The latter has a lovely walk along the river to the town centre, a great restaurant and bar, and you could take trips out to other places.
I’m not a fan of organised holidays, because I prefer to make my own travel and hotel arrangements, but I have friends who enjoy them.

Nortsat46 Wed 01-Jan-20 12:35:11

Hello indeedamum, further to doramarr’s suggestion- last year we had a long weekend in a very nice hotel in Norfolk. I was chatting to one of the managers, who told me that they often had single women guests. If my partner can’t get away from work and I need a break, I would seriously consider going alone.

I have stayed in hotels alone and travelled alone a number of times relating to my work and have always felt fine. Often I would eat in the dining room and sometimes just order room service.

I hope you will reconsider your thoughts about it being shameful to travel alone. If you saw another woman travelling alone on a train, plane or driving, I don’t think you would equate that with behaviour that felt shameful.
Women do all sorts of things today that our mothers wouldn’t have dreamt of doing ... my mother didn’t even have a passport, own a car or have her own bank account... things we can’t now imagine life without.

Maybe a short break with a shortish journey is a way to challenge yourself gently.
This could be a wonderful birthday adventure.
Do post again and let us know what you decide. We’re all rooting for you. ?

ninathenana Wed 01-Jan-20 14:20:59

Warner Hotels are good for singles.
Some are in beautiful settings, good choice of food, free entertainment.

Gymstagran Wed 01-Jan-20 15:37:53

Dont be ashamed, relish the freedom to do what you want when you want. Indulge by doing exactly what you like to do

silverlining48 Wed 01-Jan-20 15:47:38

Champneys Spa resorts are a wonderful way,and a real treat, to spend a few days in a glorious hotel with beautiful grounds, with great food and spa treatments. Choice of dining alone or at a special table of single guests, if you want company. I always go alone, mostly female clientele with the occasional couple. As friendly as you wish it to be.
Otherwise a cruise or coach trip. Have a very happy birthday.

AGAA4 Wed 01-Jan-20 16:03:19

I was apprehensive about going away on my own but had a wonderful time. I just stayed for two nights in a hotel. The days I spent visiting historic places and shopping in unfamiliar places. I took a book into the restaurant so I wouldn't feel awkward while waiting to be served. I enjoyed every minute and it was good to not have to consider the needs of others and just please myself. Go for it Ineedamum and have a wonderful time!

inkycog Wed 01-Jan-20 16:10:58

A birthday is what.....24 hours? Spare a thought for us who don't like Christmas/ New Year and have to endure week after week of it!!

I suggest you dip your toe in the water by trying something fairly short where you know there will be company. How about a break where you are " doing something, walking or painting in a country house?

Marmight Wed 01-Jan-20 16:12:57

I went on a week’s holiday with Solo Travel. It took some deep breaths but it was amazing. They do short breaks as well in the UK and abroad. Give it a Google

Grammaretto Wed 01-Jan-20 16:47:15

I want to know if you would prefer to have company?
Our single friend , male, often holidays alone though he sometimes joins an organised trip where there will be a mix of solo and couples travelling.
Another idea is to choose an activity holiday, something you've never done before.
My Merry widow friend takes herself to Italy whenever she can afford to go. She stays at a favourite hotel, enjoys the shops and the food.

I moved the date of my significant bd last year so that I could have a garden party in June. I've always wanted a June birthday. It was wonderful.

WOODMOUSE49 Wed 01-Jan-20 17:53:49

On Monday 30th I celebrated my 70th with DM. No one else.

Having moved 5 years ago (300 miles) I left my few friends behind. I plan to visit them in the summer and will celebrate my birthday then.

Having a birthday between the two big days for families (Christmas and New Year) is a difficult one to celebrate.

Celebrate it how you want ineedamum. Have a great time.

ineedamum Sat 04-Jan-20 12:16:15

Thanks everyone. There are lots of holidays to choose from! I'm tempted to be irresponsible for once and book a holiday abroad. If I was sensible I'd book a coach break in the UK.

Marmight, there are lots of companies which do solo travel- which was was it?

I have been on short city breaks alone which were fine.

I'm sad that I'm spending a significant birthday alone, every year I hope I won't be but I always am. So birthdays are a reminder I'm single, don't get me wrong I'd rather be single than in a bad relationship- but I hope to meet a soul mate and my birthday is a reminder it isn't happening!

Marketing says birthdays are a special day, unique to you etc whereas I am barely acknowledged I exist on my special day!!

B9exchange Sat 04-Jan-20 13:40:50

If you can run to a foreign holiday, why not consider a cruise? They are full of single people, and if you choose one where you sit at the same table each evening, and go a few days before the birthday, you will know people and the cruise staff will give you a wonderful celebration cake you can all share. We have stayed in touch with people we have met that way many years ago.

Who knows, if the cruise company know it is a significant birthday, you might even get an upgrade!