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DD returning to work

(54 Posts)
glammagran Sat 04-Jan-20 10:53:01

On Monday DD starts a new part-time job for the first time since having DGD now aged 16 months. She will be with other grandparents on Mondays, us on Tuesdays and nursery on Wednesdays which she has been going to for 3 months. She is very used to us as we see her a couple of times a week and we have a very good relationship and she is an absolute joy.

However, for some reason I’m feeling very anxious about the responsibility. I feel responsible not just for her but to her parents which is a different feeling to being a parent. We have just purchased a car seat and I’m even nervous about driving with her. I certainly wasn’t an anxious mother. DD is an extremely good mother, better than I was.

Any tips from other grandmothers who’ve looked after GC for the first time would be greatly appreciated. I really want to look after her and appreciate it will be tiring and it is only one day a week but may well include her nursery day on occasions if she is not well enough to attend.

glammagran Wed 08-Jan-20 07:55:47

Well we all survived our first full day of GD childcare. Husband picked her up at 7:20 and brought her back here for breakfast. She has a good appetite and ate more porridge than I did. We took her to softplay later on in the morning. Then lunch followed by Room on the Broom with which she is obsessed. 2 hour sleep next. She was upset then as she’s not used to anyone else putting her in a cot, but it was short lived. She was dropped back at 5:30 to DD’s partner who got home before DD. Went to bed at 9:30 - I was really tired. But a great day all the same.

Thanks very much all posters for tips and reassurance.

Heather23 Tue 07-Jan-20 16:48:31

Totally understand your anxiety about the responsibility. I am lucky that my DH is almost always with me on grandchildren 'duty' day and he does the driving. I have steered (sorry!) clear of driving with the GC in the car and feel his bigger car offers more protection as well. I notice you say you have a travel cot - if you find this difficult to reach down into you might want to invest in a proper cot or perhaps toddler cot bed that will grow with the child? I have bought everything (apart from car seats) off pre-loved sites (buying new mattress), eg cot, high chair, buggy. I found it best to have our own buggy/stroller to avoid finding ourselves without one when parents drove off to work with theirs in the boot.
We visit local parks and soft play areas - always somewhere where we can have a coffee too. Now that oldest GC has started school and we do the school run once a week, I find that even more nerve-wracking as he uses his scooter and is some way ahead of us. He has been well trained to stop at every kerb but even so, I am a nervous wreck and have abdicated this duty to DH most times too while I stay with the younger one. I have also found the small backpack with rein attached a brilliant idea as children always very happy to have it on 'like Daddy'. Enjoy - it is over all too soon but hopefully lays the foundation for a long-lasting bond.

Luckygirl Mon 06-Jan-20 10:32:55

f77ms - they climb in and out of the car seat by themselves too and did so from very small. They got the hang of nit very quickly.

Luckygirl Mon 06-Jan-20 10:30:55

SueDonim - I too have some physical deficits - so I never lugged my GC around. They each came to me at an age when they were crawling or starting to walk and the rule was always "Grandma cannot lift me so I have to do it myself."

They would climb into their pushchairs or on and off a chair, with a gentle push from behind from me. They knew the rule. They did not bat an eyelid about it and just got on with it.

Ascot12 Mon 06-Jan-20 09:24:52

Enjoy it I looked after all three DGS's and if its only for 1 day don't do anything but be with GD my DGS would come with me to meet friends for coffee or lunch they loved the attention I would go to the park, swimming, farms, zoo's etc you may be older and a bit slower but just enjoy it time flies bye my last one will start school september then they are gone. You have a special place in their lives Enjoy

JeannieB44 Sun 05-Jan-20 22:18:35

When I first started looking after GD now 4 I felt physically sick with anxiety. I still get anxious and now look after her younger sibling too but usually only one at a time. I think it is natural to feel anxious it is a big responsibility but do not let it spoil the chance to have some amazing fun times together. You will be fine, don't push yourself to do too much try and relax, enjoy your time together and come back and tell us how you are getting on. x

f77ms Sun 05-Jan-20 20:51:29

I look after my grandson 2 days from 7 am until 1 pm. I have a lovely relationship with him but find it exhausting! At least there are two of you so that should make things a bit easier. I too am nervous about going out with him, I find getting him in and out of the car seat requires more strength than I have and worry about not being able to catch him if he ran off confused. I was never like this with my own but think its due to age, I am far more anxious than I've ever been, it's such a huge responsibility.

Shizam Sun 05-Jan-20 20:51:17

Gosh how exciting and scary. I’d stay home and do it by little steps to start with. And then, you’ll soon be off and having a brilliant time together. And like someone else said, pushchairs and child seats are usually the trickiest part of the deal! Have fun and good luck. ?

Caro57 Sun 05-Jan-20 19:05:06

I look after my 2 GC and find it a far bigger responsibility than when i was looking after my own children - think it has something to do with having to answer to someone else. You’ve brought up children - you will be fine

Abuelana Sun 05-Jan-20 17:09:02

I’ve looked after my GD since she was 3 months old. Completely understand your concerns. I developed a fear of taking her out that I never had with my DD. One day I just said I’m not becoming a prisoner in my own home. Popped her in the car armed myself with all the necessities and off we went. 1st time was only 2 hours now we go all over. She’s 7 months now and my husband is doing his first solo trip with her on Monday. I’m going along to support but unless he is really struggling I’m keeping out of it. It’s really is like riding a bike you’ll soon get your balance. Btw I do drive slower when she’s in the car. Good luck and overall enjoy !!

Saggi Sun 05-Jan-20 16:23:44

I absolutely relished the time I spent looking after my grandson for two days a week and my granddaughter when she was born five years later , for three days a week. Little lad was an absolute delight... he was an ‘easy peasy’ child. The little girl was awkward, outdoorsy,outgoing, noisy,indeed everything her brother wasn’t.... then I realised all I had to do was put on her coat,hat and boots... bought her a tiny wheelbarrow and a gardening tool set and open the back door. Out she went .... and three days a week for two years all I got was snails, worms, woodlice, spiders,grasshoppers, ladybirds, black beetles, every imaginable creepy crawly she could dig up, unearth, catch, would come my way in various boxes, Tupperware , at one stage I had to make a ‘castle’ to keep all the creepies in. I also remember packaging them one day,into large shoebox and taking them on the bus when I took her home to parents. She convinced me their garden had no creepies !! Although grandson was quieter and more studious and easy to be with.... I have the most wonderful memories of my two years with my wonderful, spirited granddaughter.... grab your chance .... shive on your wellies and your coats and enjoy this little girl for all it’s worth. Oh.... and but a garden tool set just in case!! Better than a pink Barbie anyway!!

Chardy Sun 05-Jan-20 14:46:12

I've looked after DGD one day a week since she was a few weeks old. I've always driven her around. She'll be at school soon, so it'll be staying here for a few days every holiday.
Of course I was twitchy the first time I... fed her, carried her, took her out, had her stay at mine, took her swimming etc. We all were with our first child, but with the second, we wondered what all the fuss was about. A little worry is very normal. You will love it. Good luck

grandtanteJE65 Sun 05-Jan-20 14:35:55

The responsibility of looking after our grandchildren does feel different to the responsibility of looking after our own children did.

I am sure you will get on fine, but please make sure of the following points:

Your house is no longer geared to an infant!

Check that there are no flexes the little one can grab and perhaps pull a heavy lamp down onto herself. And check that electric sockets are child-proofed.

Fit a lock to the cupboards where cleaning materials or medicine is kept and keep the cupboards locked.

Make sure the little one cannot fall down stairs, or try to climb up them.

Child-proof windows, drawers where knives and scissors are kept.

Keep dressmaking shears, sewing machine, knitting needles, pins and needles somewhere where the child cannot reach them.

Keep tools likewise in a save place.

We have got out of the habit of thinking of the above as hazards, but better save than sorry.

Enjoy your time with your granddaughter, everything will be fine.

TrendyNannie6 Sun 05-Jan-20 14:15:34

I think it’s perfectly natural to be thinking oh hope I can manage etc but you only do things that you feel comfortable doing, you will love it

Katyj Sun 05-Jan-20 14:09:21

Hi, Your going to love it, eventually lol.You'll begin to relax as time goes by, I agree that the anxiety of it is more tiring than the physical part, although that's tiring too.Make sure you follow your daughters rules,if she has any, we didn't know we had any, until it was too late ! Backpacks are great, and you'll feel more confident.Have a practice session with the pushchair and car seat, they can be tricky.I'm not confident in driving the dgc around either as I'm too easily distracted, so I only go very short trips 2 or 3 miles at the most.Do whatever your happy with to start with.And remember to eat and drink yourself, I often forgot.

glammagran Sun 05-Jan-20 13:51:39

First reply didn’t appear!!

glammagran Sun 05-Jan-20 13:50:58

Dancinggran I will definitely look into this

glammagran Sun 05-Jan-20 13:50:03

Dancinggran I will definitely look into this.

Norah Sun 05-Jan-20 13:43:02

It is challenging to watch GC but it is a nice gift to AC.

TATT Sun 05-Jan-20 13:38:49

I remember I felt the same and still do, but too a lesser extent now. I think that once you have a few days under your belt you will start to enjoy it. That said, driving is an issue for me. I never had a car when my own children were small, so I do need to drive with them more than I do currently.

4allweknow Sun 05-Jan-20 13:20:15

Will GD be with you in your home? If so make sure you have everything safe.Stairs, cupboards, drawers, plugs. I had safety catches on them all as was terrified I'd turn my back and find a disaster. Baby monitor where GD will sleep. If you are going to DD home then you will ho with what is there. You will be fine, it will all come flooding back to you and just because your style may not match up to DDs it doesn't make it wrong. Nursery will be different as will other GPs. Children are very resilient,much more then we give them credit for. Go for it and enjoy, you are giving a great gift to DD and GD.

Gymstagran Sun 05-Jan-20 13:04:34

I looked after two of my grandchildren from when their mom went back to work after her maternity leave. I found I did worry more but my daughter trusted me. It is a lovely time and I took full advantage of library rattle and rhyme sessions and walks in the park. I too used the backpacks and we all insisted on hand holding and waiting at kerbs for crossing roads. My eldest granddaughter is now 9 and we laugh together over granny being more cautious than mommy, but they still take heed. I would say enjoy this precious time they grow up far too quick

luluaugust Sun 05-Jan-20 12:02:51

I felt just as anxious as you and even now don't really like taking them in the car but what goes round comes round and since my recent shoulder replacement my now teenage grandchildren take my arm and I can feel them keeping an eye on me! I always used reins when they were first walking as they have no sense of direction but can move so quickly.

Sara65 Sun 05-Jan-20 12:02:22

My latest little charge is very inquisitive, at fourteen months she wanders around nosing into all the cupboards, as most of our downstairs is open plan, with a staircase at each end, I have to watch her like a hawk.

I agree, it’s exhausting!

Grannyjacq1 Sun 05-Jan-20 11:55:15

Lots of good advice here from other gransnetters. We also used a backpack with a strap (as suggested by Dancinggran) for peace of mind. We struggled with the buggy too - especially the rain cover - but often a young parent would come to our rescue! Why don't you do a short 'first aid for children course' - most local authorities have them for a small fee - just to make you feel more confident?