hugging

Not for me unless it's someone fairly close, or I feel it would make someone feel better. No problem with children Nd grandchildren. When I see all the hugging that goes on during tv programmes, I always think that they wouldn't want me on the programme! My hand would be out front ready to 'shake'! Like some other posters, I feel that hugging is too intimate a contact with people you don't know well, or even not at all. Hugging often comes from emotion, so, for me, it's not a ' pleased to meet you' action.

I was always way more demonstrative than my rather uptight (emotionally) parents. I would hug, kiss and say I loved them. They both found it embarrassing. Once I married and had kids...they got used to it as my kids like this too. They learnt... by the end of their lives they would put their arms wide as we arrived. I think they just grew up with not very physical parents.

My family never hugged. I can't ever remember my parents kissing or cuddling me, so the contemporary way of greeting, by kissing and hugging scared me to death.
I am gradually getting used to it however, and think if you can get over the embarrassment it's quite meaningful to have that physical connection with others.
Unfortunately I still can't bring myself to kiss my mum.

You can teach yourself to hug, the same way you taught yourself that shaking hands was appropriate. I am like you I am not a hugger by nature but one of my daughters is, and I have friends who are so I have learned to hug those people who seem to put great store in it

This thread has sort of lost its way somehow. It is not about 'hugging' in general' but hugging a foreign dil, a young woman away from home and her family, perhaps feeling a bit out of water (especially in the current circumstances in the UK), and who is used to hugging in her family. If hugging would help her feel more at home and part of this new family- I'd say making the effort and 'learn' would pay great dividends in the future.

I'm 100 per cent handshake except for the special few who are greeted intimately. My shake is firm, warm and meaningful with full eye contact and - I'm always careful with my sword!

I think you’ll embarrass her by making a big deal of it and sending texts to explain that you’re not used to hugging. Just hug her next time, or respond if she hugs you.
If you like her and you have a good relationship, whether or not you hug won’t be an issue.

My Mil always hugs me and kisses my cheek and I hate it. I don’t like her, she doesn’t like me, it’s all fake (like the rest of her) and I wish she’d just stop it.

Hugging and airkissing is more hygienic than a handshake actually. You can do it without any skin touching at all. I just wish I didn't have one friend who always airkisses a real smacker right near my ear. One time it was ringing for a whole day

A couple of things make me smile about the modern hugging and kissing. One is imagining what my dad and DH dad would have made of it all and the other is watching our large son, SIL's, DH and other assorted male relatives getting into awkward clinches!

Oh gosh - I am always out of my depth on this. My family - barely ever touched each other. But it seems now lots of people hug mere acquaintances. I try to go along with it with good grace. I'm OK with daughter ending calls with 'Love you Mum' - how much I would have liked my parents ever to get near this... BUT the things I don't like - the over feelly hug from men - anyone guilty of that get frozen out, and the ones from clearly infectious people who blithely assume I love them so much I'm happy to share their bugs - grrr.

I hate hugging, and the presumption from huggers that one's ok with it. It's an invasion of space and privacy.

I have never been hugged so much in my life as I have been since I broke my arm. Everyone I met said something of the "Poor You" variety and immediately threw their arms around me. Ouch, Ouch, Ouch.

I wasn`t brought up in hugging family, well one didn`t "back in the day!

my youngest son and dil are huggers, our eldest ds freezes, we tease him,, but his wife, dil is a hugger, the gks don`t
but my dh recently died, and our eldest gs came to me and so clearly wanted to hug me,, I was surprised, but yes, hugs are also said to be good for us... forget how.. but yes, I like hugs now.

Slightly different my DD and DS are all ‘kissers’ that is we kiss on meeting and leaving. Also DILs do the same. They also naturally kiss me goodnight when they go up to bed if they are staying over. (They are in their late 40s by the way.) Hugs are obviously part of the kisses.

Hugging makes me cringe , I hate being touched ! But everyone seems to hug these days . I was at a work do yesterday and was hugged 3 times aagh .

Alexa: Is it actually impolite to give someone a real lippy kiss when they air kiss one?

Save that for the space-invaders, then give them a knowing look, lol!

Alexa, surely it depends on your country or culture. We kiss 3 times here always, and definitely skin to skin.

I have always thought it really nice to hug someone you love or at least very good friends with. I like to hug and enjoy receiving a hug back. It is certainly not meaningless to me.

I like hugging people but always forget it's not supposed to be a real hug and a real kiss skin to skin/ Is it actually impolite to give someone a real lippy kiss when they air kiss one?

* Place a box of £20 notes near your front door.
* Take £20 each time you hug your DIL hello and goodbye.
* You will benefit greatly from the oxytocin released whilst
huggng.
* You will have a new wardrobe in no time as well!

We have never really been a family of huggers until the younger members got to the age of greeting you rather than disappearing asap lol. Our nephews/nieces all greet with a hug, and even some of my sons friends who I've known since they were all at school, now give a hug to say hello.
Even the chaps give each other a sort of half hug half handshake these days.

I expect your dil realises that your family are not naturally people to give a hug and no doubt she will not feel offended.

My own family were about as unhuggy as you can get. So I have become a hugger!

Exactly Hetty58 - your DIL is a long way from home, and perhaps misses her family terribly. So if hugging is what she yearns for, surely hugging her will help with bonding. Especially at the moment.

Of course you don't have to - but if it will help her and your relationship - why keep the 'cold British stiff peer lip' ? I don't get it.

May i ask why you are so worried?

In my group of friends, some are huggers, some are kissers, some are "keep the distance and say hi"
By body language and observation, we know who prefers what and we follow it. No offense taken.

Do you want to hug? There's no law that says you have to - if it makes you feel uncomfortable then don't do it. No-one has the right to force physical contact of any sort on you and if it doesn't feel right, natural or comfortable then don't feel you have to