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hugging

(116 Posts)
MissAdventure Thu 09-Jan-20 21:10:16

No hugs for me.
I make myself scarce if I can sense one brewing.

Calendargirl Thu 09-Jan-20 21:05:48

Not a hugger myself. Was not brought up to hug and kiss everybody. Dislike it at church if people go round hugging and kissing during the sharing of the peace, prefer a warm handshake. But will hug someone if they are sad or upset if I think it will make them feel better.
I realise this is not how things are done nowadays, but that is me.

ginny Thu 09-Jan-20 20:51:12

Close family and a few very good friends get hugs..
why would anyone want to be hugging anyone they don’t know very well ?

tanith Thu 09-Jan-20 20:47:44

Our family all hug, it took me a while to get used my sons girlfriend who was Belgian kissing me on both cheeks.?

Sara65 Thu 09-Jan-20 20:40:25

I agree with Doodle, hugging is good with people you like/love.

I hug a few people who are obviously huggers, and who I’m sufficiently fond of not to hurt their feelings, but basically for me, it’s no thanks.

My next door neighbour, who mercifully, I only bump into occasionally, always kisses me, I hate it.

JackyB Thu 09-Jan-20 20:29:04

Sometimes a hug seems the natural thing to do, sometimes I'm glad I brought a cake or a bunch of flowers and can't hug with my hands full.

Doodle Thu 09-Jan-20 20:27:17

Hugs are nice with people you like/love.

Londonwifi Thu 09-Jan-20 20:24:58

I know what you mean. I didn’t come from a family of huggers. By that I mean that a hug was reserved for a special occasion and meant more.
I always like to hug my son and his girlfriend when I see them as they mean so much to me. However, I am not the type to hug everyone each time I meet them especially if I’m not too keen on them. One of my sister in laws for example. She’s really horrible and as a result I really don’t like her. She always hugs every time we meet then again when we part, her husband as well who places his hands on my hips when he hugs me!! Eeeeouch!! Noooooo! I really don’t like it. A friend of my husband has a partner who hugs me and kisses every time we meet and part and she puts me down a lot verbally. How do I get out of her greetings?!?
Now sorry to rant on about my situation. In answer to your question, Jodieb’s answer is spot on. Have a word with your DIL and make light of it even asking her to make sure she gives you a hug so you can respond. Good luck.

gmarie Thu 09-Jan-20 20:23:24

I like Bridgeit's suggestion which conveys kind inclinations. Perhaps add something like, "I'm just not used to hugging" if you want to indicate a slight reserve?

Moocow Thu 09-Jan-20 20:21:01

My advice, start trying to remember and before you know it you'll become a hugger and might even like it! grin Yes I speak from experience! If you forget at the start just say and do it then if you forget when saying goodbye it won't be like you were avoiding the hug moment.

Namsnanny Thu 09-Jan-20 20:19:25

It seems as if a hug is the new handshake.

Fine but I'm a bit uncomfortable with it being the preferred greeting now.

I suppose I'd like it to be enjoyed as a customary greeting for those who are closer to me.

So it doesn't become meaningless, or disingenuous.

Doesn't she approach you to give you a hug then? Its a two way thing, so if you forget she could make the first move I suppose, which would remind you to join in!

Put it to her that you're happy to hug, but might forget sometimes so maybe she could 'remind' you by just going for it!

shysal Thu 09-Jan-20 20:11:35

I am the same, grew up in a family who didn't hug. I cuddled my children of course, but eventually they grew out of it. It doesn't mean we don't love each other, we are just a little reserved. I find it very awkward when virtual strangers expect to hug these days. I go along with it but never initiate it. I cringe when I see it on TV.

jura2 Thu 09-Jan-20 20:09:25

just make sure you don't forget next time ...

Jodieb Thu 09-Jan-20 20:07:40

Just tell her that your family aren't huggers but you're up for learning and that she's free to hug you until it becomes natural for you. Seems everyone hugs now which makes it a little meaningless. Like a few years ago everyone seemed to say "I love you!"

Bridgeit Thu 09-Jan-20 20:03:08

Text her to say ‘ sorry I forgot to give you a hug, so here’s a virtual one ‘

meet Thu 09-Jan-20 19:57:44

I don't come from a family where hugging was a natural but now i have a DIL whose family have always done this, I always forget to hud her when she visits or leaves. any advice,