hugging

My MIL doesn’t hug but insists on the silly ‘two kiss’ ritual.
I don’t like it and tend to be busy when she arrives or leaves.
Sorry, not about hugs but feel better for saying it.

I was never brought up to be a hugger or a " show-er " of emotions. I came from the original stiff upper-lip " be brave " family so it took years to get into this overly friendly mode.

My lifelong friends and myself have always greeted each other with hugs as the 5 of us have special friendships over many years, 4 of us becoming widows over the years has also kept the friendship cemented.

GS's are very forthcoming with their hugs too. I was quite overwhelmed at Christmas and it was so nice.

I look forward to seeing my grandsons. The youngest one, now 12 and much bigger than me, hugs like a grizzly and if he gets much stronger, I will fear for my ribs. Both my sons and all the GC like a hug and so do I.

My Son in law gives me an official once a year hug at Christmas! He knows me so well.

My GD is a hugger and I just go with it. Like many other posters my parents and family weren't huggers and I don't hug unless invited. So I was surprised that GD's lovely boyfriend also gave me a hug when they came round. I found that very touching because he's never done that before.

I am a hugger. Daughters and I hug and kiss on meeting and leaving and so do close friends. A few people at church who I know well hug at the giving of the peace others shake hands I don’t mind either. Grandchildren sometimes like to be cuddled sometimes “put up” with a quick hug from me. I just go with the flow and how comfortable the other person is. I think hugging is much warmer

I haven't been hugged since DH died (he was a great hugger!) and I miss it. None of my friends are huggers and would be horrified if I tried to hug them.

I come from a family who always gave/received hugs.
And friends do too.
My DIL said when we first met many years ago that she never had hugs from anyone other than her parents and she loved it when I gave her a hug it made her feel welcome.
And we hug all the time on meeting then on leaving even when I see her at where she works.

I was never hugged or kissed as a child and can't remember ever doing it as a young adult.
It now seems mandatory even if you have just met someone.
My BIL does not do hugs and even after 54 years still shakes hands.

I just feel that you don’t have to hug, kiss, tell people at every touch and turn you love them for it to be true.
My DH very rarely says he loves me. I once commented on this, he looked at me and said “You know I do”. Which I do, in so many everyday things.
I rarely say it to him either, it’s how we are, but doesn’t mean our love for each other isn’t there, or any less meaningful than if we declare our feelings for each other all the time.

Naturally, I (usually) put down my sword when in company!

I didn't grow up in a huggy family either.

My first son, even as a tiny baby, didn't like to be hugged.
My 2nd son was, and still is, a hugger extraordinaire

He never arrives here, nor leaves without giving me a big, bear hug (he is 6ft 7ins and lifts weights)

When he was in his teens I told him I would quite understand if he wanted to stop hugging when I dropped him at school, in case his friends laughed at him.

He absolutely refused and said they could laugh all they liked, nothing would stop him hugging his Mum.

Now I'm immersed in Maori society, it is the common greeting and anyone arriving late will go round the company giving each person a hug. I think it's lovely, much warmer than a cold, impersonal handshake (which originated as a means of proving you were not about to draw your sword).

It takes two to hug so surely she would have reached over to hug you and that would have reminded you? It's not your responsibility to remember to hug, she can always approach you.

grannyactivist sounds like a great thing to do....a hug offered at the right moment can be very comforting even to non huggers like myself.

Also, when I no longer have a DH, friendship hugs might become more needed.

Funny that this has come up today.

Yesterday I chaired a formal meeting with police, local council officials etc. in attendance and afterwards I bumped into one of the council attendees in the street as I was on my way to my next meeting and she was going back to her car. She looked a little upset and so I stopped to talk to her and during our chat she became quite tearful. She explained the reasons for her tears and, on impulse I asked her if she would like a hug. We were on the busy High Street, but she didn't hesitate and said, 'yes, please'. So there we were, in the middle of town, hugging until I felt her release me. Afterwards she sent me a text that simply said, 'thanks for the hug, it was just what I needed'.

In general I am a hugger, but I'm not usually indiscriminate.

It's a cultural thing, as she is Lithuanian.

My DIL is a hugger, so the first thing I do when I see her is give an extended hug and a peck on the cheek. It makes her happy so why not?

I wouldnt give it a second thought.
She knows you are not a hugger.

I come from a family of non huggers and when I left my DD at the hospital after meeting her 6 hour old son for the first time I went in for a lovely hug, (it just came naturally!) she looked at me like I was going to strangle her?. Now 8 months on I hug her and kiss her all the time and she just accepts it. I think hugging is a natural thing and you can’t force it. I always hugged them as children but it never seemed natural for me to hug another adult until that day in the hospital.?. Keep it real OP and don’t force it, she won’t mind if you don’t feel the need to do it.

I would treat a daughter in law just like my family; I don't hug them, either.

a DIL is not a stranger, nor a long lost buddy

Always think on ‘Pointless’ when the losing couple have to leave, sometimes they hug the winning couple, sometimes they just shake hands, bit daft really, they have probably only met in the green room a couple of hours before and now they look like long lost buddies.

If you see them all the time hugging just feels artificial and meaningless.

a DIL should not feel like a stranger though...

I'm not a keen hugger either. If someone approaches me and looks like they might be going to hug me I whip my hand out for a handshake!
It really does seem daft to be hugging virtual strangers these days. I put up with it if it's someone I know well but people I'm being introduced to - just no.