hugging

Here's something from our current Aldi catalogue which may have already seen, but just in case;

Sweet Dreams
"Weighted blankets use deep touch pressure to stimulate pressure points on the body to create the feeling of being hugged. This can help calm anxiety,improve mood and sleep quality"
Glass beads provide the weight apparently!
So you don't need a partner after all!
OoRoo

i wasnt brought up to hug people.i never do it to other people. i learnt how to hug after i went to church .i still feel uncomfortable ..but i love hugging my gc....

lucywinter one of my sons was going on a school trip and seemed troubled. Eventually he asked if he could have his hug and kiss goodbye in the kitchen, not by the coach in front of all his mates!

I love it when my grandsons hug me, the older one especially. All through his childhood he made a big thing of not kissing me and not hugging me. He's eighteen now and he has an enfolding hug for his old granny.

I hug close family and friends but do not really like it from strangers simply because I feel awkward. I am the same with kissing. I too tend to stick my hand out if one is looming.

Me too, rosecarmel, I love being hugged. It's one modern development which I wholeheartedly embrace.

I cherish every hug ..

I tend to agree that our generation were not brought up with hugging and kissing - sad as that seems now! It’s got to have something to do with a bit of the “stiff upper lip” belief that was so prevalent when I was growing up. I really regret that I didn’t feel comfortable reaching out and hugging my parents as we said our final goodbyes to them and left England for a new life in Canada! That was over 50 years ago and my parents have been dead for nearly 40 years now but I still regret it. I believe we should hug often - to friends, family, and definitely our grown up children and grandchildren. I even hugged my doctor once when I asked her how her mother was managing her health problems. As I looked at her and saw tears well up in her eyes it just felt so natural to reach out and hug her in a gesture of comfort and caring.

I think it's a generational thing. I'm not a hugger but some of my family are. I like to hug my GC though.

From a non-hugging family, I have grown accustomed to moving with the times. But except in a case of comforting extreme grief being suffered by a friend, I run a mile from man-hugs.

I have DIL who does nit hug. She has an abhorrence of PDA including hugging. It's strange when visiting etc as my son always gives a hug and DIL just stands by. I do like a hug though it is a relatively new custom for me.

My family aren't huggers - except with the children. My two oldest friends and I have taken to hugging as we've got older. When the son of one of my work colleagues died on holiday I hugged her because it said so much that couldn't be put into words. The same thing happened when I went to see the consultant after DH. We'd been through so much that hugging was all that was left.

To the OP....just do your best to remember to give her a big hug.
I’m a hugger, but realise not everyone is.
Grannyactivist I think from reading your posts over the years that you are an immensely kind woman, but if anyone asked ‘would you like a hug’ I would certainly say No!?
Even though I do like hugs.Just me being ornery no doubt.

grannyactivist A lovely intuitive response to someone's distress. Sometimes a real hug can speak louder than words -and spans any language barriers - : I instinctively hugged a proud Greek gentleman on learning his daughter had died and he was overcome with emotion. Then I felt stricken that I had perhaps overstepped the mark/broken with etiquette, even though over the (many) years of our acquaintance we had progressed from a hand shake to the three kiss on the cheek greeting/goodbye. However on the day I left he grasped my hand and said "thank you, thank you".

When I first did homecare, tucking the elderly into bed at night in their own homes, getting them up in the morning, the colleague who trained me invariably gave them a hug and a kiss goodbye, much as you would a child.
I was surprised but she explained it's often the only affectionate physical contact they have with anyone.
Obviously if someone wasn't receptive to a hug then we didn't, but that was rare.

It's good to hug, men can hug too, it's merely an expression of cherishing the other person being part of your life. Unless someone is particularly upset by others invading their space then a hug can only bring good vibes, enjoy getting used to it.

I don’t feel comfortable if an adult hugs me as a greeting. Just a hello or goodbye is sufficient for me.

It's a dilemma really. My family never hugged but I'm now the biggest hugger there is.... but you need to respect people's boundaries. Not everyone likes being hugged, especially those on the autistic spectrum.

I grew up with a Mum who visibly flinched if I tried to hug her and she never hugged us either. I made a real effort when I had children myself to make sure hugs were exchanged but I did find it difficult to get used to my Mum in law who was a frequent hugger I have always hugged my grandchildren - less as they beome teenagers though, they do still give hugs sometimes! It is really difficult when you are not from a hugging family so I know what the OP means - just try to remember and perhaps ask them to offer a hug if you forget!

jura2 ...where does the OP say her dil is foreign and a long way from home and missing her family?
I must have missed that piece of info as it does colour the thread differently!

I'm not a hugger

Some people I know are huggers

So I do my best

I love the greeting of friends and acquaintances when we go to our Spanish holiday home. It serms so welcoming to be kissed on both cheeks and the males in the family to receive a strong pat on the back and strong handshake. I hug my AC and best friends when we meet. There are people I dont want to hug so I don't. Best hugs are from gc though usually accompanied with a sloppy/dribbly kiss

Does hugging make you uncomfortable? If so, don't hug.

Explain to your DIL that your family are not huggers. If you are comfortable hugging her and being hugged by her tell her that it is easier for you if she hugs you than the other way around,

I have people I hug and people I don't amongst my friends and relations.

Do whatever makes you both comfortable, but you do need to talk to her about this, otherwise you risk her thinking you dislike her.

This might be a bit off topic, but at our last OBE club meeting a discussion centred around whether the term "girl friend" is now considered sexist and not PC and now replaced by "partner"!? Some argue the latter implies sleeping together; but I remember " sleeping partner" which wasn't taken literally! and definitely didn't involve hugging!

I will accept hugs from people who want to give them, but only instigate hugs with people I really like. You will get used to hugging your Dil.