having granddaughter in bed with grandma and grandmas partner

Does rather make you wonder about the home circumstances of the child though! ?

Dotty If you have a genuine concern or phrase a question in a general way, and you start a thread, you'll be met with sensible and polite replies.

If this OP had simply asked the question 'Should children of 8 ever go into their grandparents' bed? What do you all think?' it's quite possible that a reasonable discussion could have followed.

But referring to an acquaintance's, rather than one's own, specific situation with not enough detail for anyone to form an opinion, in a rather gossip-y sort of way, is bound to lead some of us to feel suspicious about why the thread was started.

Well our gd always go in bed with us in the morning, Mr B is 2nd husband and not related. We would play pushing out of bed and Mr B would lift them up on his legs to see if they could touch the ceiling yet. We were all fully clothed and I can see no wrong in it.

A child Sharing a bed with an adult, other than their parent, and certainly not overnight would be frowned upon by the child protection teams if ever an investigation was launched. It would only take a comment to a teacher by the 8year old of what the sleeping arrangements were the night before for an investigation to be started, however innocent the intentions of the Grandparents where. My Daughter is a Manager of a local nursery, and regularly receives child protection training and updates from the Local authority and the police alike. Should a child inform them that they slept the night in bed with Gran and her boyfriend that would be enough to instigate further enquiries from Social services Child protection team. It's simply not worth the risk, and yes l was a victim of Abuse in the hands of my own grandmother through bed sharing from infant school until my teens, when l finally got some closure after she died. Children need safeguarding from this risk, the damage caused by sexual abuse can last a lifetime and totally ruin a young life.

I would just say as long as the relationship is solid and obviously all parties know full boundaries which I am sure they do as after all who is going to put a young child in any danger?
One small thing to just point out that young children sometimes seem to know things that I as an older woman would not give them credit for knowing and you never know if they dream up and fanticise things or not.
I remember being in the park one day with my male dog and a man with two kids came along with his dog so I quickly put my dog on his lead. The youngish man said oh don't worry this is a female so they will be okay.
The children were about 6 and 7 years old. A boy and girl. The dogs were just having a bit of a sniff and I was trying to be sociable before making my exit when this little girl of about 7 years old piped up with the comment "Oh daddy look the dog has got his lipstick out." the first time I have heard something like that anyway I mumbled oh I must be going which I did but sometimes children seem to know more than I ever did at those ages.
Really sorry as I am trying not to be rude so please nobody take offence.

JuliaM there is absolutely nothing that I could disagree with in your post but I think I and perhaps other posters, may think that the OP is spurious.

It's not phrased as a genuine concern and the timing is non-specific too.

Had this seemed a genuine question I would have given a genuine answer
We have had post like this before and they either end up in the Daily Mail (yes that has happened) or they are started to get everyone ohhing and ahhing and posting information about themselves and their situations (perhaps more than they meant to) not so long ago there was one started about a dead mother reaching out to the poster and it got some people very very upset and even more so when it was found out to be totally fake I m not saying this is fake just that it could be anything because we are not dealing with facts but gossip
If the poster had wanted to start a genuine thread on child abuse or pedophilia I would have entered a frank debate but once it began ‘i used to know a woman who’ it becomes not a serious debate but tittle tattle

Nothing dodgy about it at all, my DH is not my DGDs biological Papa but she slept in our bed until i could bear it no longer, she is a "active sleeper" (her Papa ended up with a black eye after her foot landed in his face) Even with in a super kingsized bed we were left hanging off the sides as she imitated starfish. She was always asked where she wanted to sleep ( we have a guest room) but she would only sleep with us. When she got to 8 years old and i was due to have major abdominal surgery i banished her to a camp bed beside our bed, when she got to 12 she decided to sleep in the other room.

JuliaM I worked in Early Years for many years and never once were we told to inform SS if a child shared a bed with a Granparent. I have just called my BF who is still a nursery manager and she has never been instructed to call either. I am sorry to hear you suffered at the hands of your Grandmother but please dont tar all Grandparents with the same brush

''What do people think of that?''

what I think is I wonder why a newcomer, starts a first post thread with this question? Bizarre.

Why should it matter who has the situation? It’s just a general question. If you don’t like it, ignore it and find a topic which does interest you.

It is gossip and second-hand, without any other information as to the background and specific situation, and in the past- so why here, why now?

I can never remember sharing a bed with anybody, except when staying with rough relatives in remote small cottage where I shared a bed sardine style with my mother and aunt. I was aged 7, and annoyed my mother by scratching as I'd been bitten by something. I can remember my gentle aunt getting out of bed, groping to find a lighter to strike to try to find some ointment in her bag to help me.
I wish i had my mother's strength and resolve; and my aunts compassion.

i don't understand what people are getting agitated about.
cant we discuss the issues, whatever the background to the OP. why does it matter. if you don't like the topic, or doubt its bona fides why not just ignore it, why get het up.
there are lots of things on GN that i ignore. i don't expect to agree with, understand, be interested in, have anything to say on, all of them. unless they are offensive, or legally problematic, what does it matter.

The op is nothing more than an invitation to indulge in gossip and tittle-tattle.

It's not the subject welbeck, it is the way it has been presented; not as a cri de coeur or a request for advice but more like gossip over the garden fence.