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having granddaughter in bed with grandma and grandmas partner

(41 Posts)
ForestsLakesandMountains Fri 17-Jan-20 23:13:35

reading posts about step families......I worked with a woman who had a granddaughter, about 8. she lived with her partner (not the father of the grandchilds mother, she had met him after her granddaughter was born). the granddaughter stayed over while her mother worked, and would sometimes get in bed with her grandmother and her grandmothers partner. What do people think of that?

MawB Fri 17-Jan-20 23:41:14

What response do you expect to get?
Sharp intake of breath?
Pearl clutching?

TBH I am neither interested nor do I have an opinion about what somebody I don’t know who knows somebody I have never heard of tells me about a third party I am not likely to know.

It is none of my business

welbeck Sat 18-Jan-20 01:18:24

did e mother know about that.
I would not be happy with it.
even if they were actually related.
I knew a man who was sent as a small child to stay with his grandparents. where he was abused by his grandfather. it was only many years later that he found out that the same thing had happened to his brother. he felt so bad about it. felt he was very evil. and the only way to try to be right with god was to be as holy as possible, so at the age of eight he applied to be a priest. the supervisor said he was too young. to come back when he was 11. which he did. into junior seminary. then senior, ordained. spent his life as a priest, no romantic life, no children. a lonely life. trying to atone.
sorry gone off topic. so much sorrow and sadness in the world. he only told me while he was driving. no eye contact.

cornergran Sat 18-Jan-20 05:37:13

Exactly maw. Not sure of the real purpose of the op.

BlueBelle Sat 18-Jan-20 06:55:00

I knew a woman who swallowed a fly I don’t know why she swallowed a fly .......
Dah dum diddly dum dum

Kalu Sat 18-Jan-20 07:13:23

She was an old woman BlueBell.........perhaps she died. So sad 😭

Gingster Sat 18-Jan-20 08:09:56

If you have no interest, do t post your opinion. RUDE!!!!!!!

Yehbutnobut Sat 18-Jan-20 08:11:14

I worked with a woman...

GagaJo Sat 18-Jan-20 08:13:51

Slightly dodgy I think. Grandma, fine. Random man who is her boyfriend, not fine. If I was mum, I wouldn't be happy.

janeainsworth Sat 18-Jan-20 08:19:41

welbeck I’m astonished at your post. You seem to be saying that because you personally know someone who was abused by his grandfather, no child should ever climb into bed with its grandparents....really?

OP I’m not going to comment except to say that while we should all be alert to the necessity of safeguarding children, in the absence of any disturbing evidence, it’s none of your business what your former colleague and her partner do in the privacy of their home.

GagaJo Sat 18-Jan-20 08:21:28

Where does it say that she knew someone abused by grandfather? I could be being dim, but didn't see that bit.

sodapop Sat 18-Jan-20 09:06:31

Yes its in Welbeck's post Gagajo
I think at 8 years old the child should not be encouraged to get into their bed.

Elegran Sat 18-Jan-20 09:08:11

Welbeck said it at 01:18:24 It is not relevant to this question at all - we all know someone whose house was burgled, but that doesn't mean we refuse to live in a house, or to allow our children or grandchildren to enter one.

The OP is not relevant either, mostly because it is a third-hand question without enough info. Is this a random and temporary boyfriend, changed frequently? Or is it a loving and loyal long-term partner who happens not to have either a marriage certificate or a blood relationship to the child who seems to in the position of a grand-daughter? We don't know. Was the woman who told this story to the original poster woried about the man? We don't know. Were the girl's parents worried? We don't know.

How can anyone give a sensible answer to this? We can't, so I won't.

Missfoodlove Sat 18-Jan-20 09:42:17

The OP has asked our opinions to provoke discussion.
Why the hostility?
The reactions are very odd and rude.
The jury’s still out for me, cannot decide if it’s appropriate or not.

janeainsworth Sat 18-Jan-20 09:53:47

Why the hostility

I wouldn’t describe the reactions as hostile, more as sceptical.
We’ve been asked to give our opinions on a situation which doesn’t impact directly on the OP and about which there is a dearth of information.

You will findmissfoodlove that when a poster appears genuinely in need of help, Gransnetters are quick to provide help, support and advice.
But we’re also aware that occasionally GN is targeted by others with ulterior motives, eg journalists fishing for comments or background to fill up their feature articles.

I’m not suggesting that this particular OP isn’t genuine, but past experiences have taught us to be wary.

ExperiencedNotOld Sat 18-Jan-20 09:59:50

There’s still no reason for the sarcastic rudeness -as said yesterday on the continuation of Naty’s Italian family dilemma, it’s always the same few. Someone point me to where it says they must ‘own’ every opinion on the site. And yes, I’ll continue to call their behaviour out.

rafichagran Sat 18-Jan-20 10:04:46

Not my business to the question, but OP has the right to ask what he/she wants, I also think responding posters have been sarcastic and rude.
I would not have commented on this post had it not been for the replies from other posters, other posters could have done the same.

Mary59nana Sat 18-Jan-20 10:33:11

Sadly alot of rudeness and sarcasm on here this morning.
OP has asked for opinions and this is the place to ask.
Or so I thought .....

henetha Sat 18-Jan-20 10:50:13

She swalllowed a horse, she's dead of course.

GagaJo Sat 18-Jan-20 10:56:41

Either senility or childishness on here. No one would ever think we were grown women.

Callistemon Sat 18-Jan-20 10:57:27

It is all hearsay and may have happened many years ago so I think the OP was made with the motive of provoking a reaction rather than asking for advice.

I wonder sometimes if other threads are begun with the same intent.

MissAdventure Sat 18-Jan-20 11:15:14

Still no need for rudeness at all.

Elegran Sat 18-Jan-20 11:19:53

My reaction too, Callistemon The situation was reported as in the past - "I worked with a woman who . . " - so the poster is not asking for advice, just to see "What do people think of that?" Other posters have replied with what they think, and some of their thoughts are that it was only posted to stir the waters.

Callistemon Sat 18-Jan-20 11:46:41

I've danced with a man who's danced with a girl who's danced with the Prince of Wales hmm

Dottydots Sat 18-Jan-20 14:40:03

No wonder I'm dubious about starting a thread.