Okay so I’ve been here before asking opinions if I was valid to feel hurt and upset about my mils unannounced visits.
Long story short. I had told her before my baby was born that mil was to call first and not drop in unannounced.
But not once did she do this! We live very close so she literally would let herself into my house without even waiting for me to answer the door.
It took a huge toll on me and caused a lot of anxiety.
I since have confronted her after a long 8 months.
This is basically how it went (see below) and I just don’t feel she’s acknowledged what she did and that she disrespected my boundaries. Advice please? I don’t know how I am meant to move forward.....do I just let it go? It’s made me so angry that I finally said something and the fact she said she only did it twice (refer below also)
Thank you ladies xx
“So I addressed that mil didn’t listen to my requests Re visits and I reiterated the entire conversation her and I had had (not that I think she’s ever magically forgotten).
It was very obvious she was kind of ignoring it and wouldn’t acknowledge it, so she changed the subject....all the while im a bit annoyed and confused she had nothing to say.
She then asked me if she could help in anyway and so I said actually an explanation as to why you chose to not listen to me about my boundaries I had once I had the baby, is what I need right now. And she okay I made that mistake 2x and I was shocked!!! I said ummm sorry what do you mean? - her “I dropped in twice” . I was so livid, but I tried to stay calm and corrected her. “Actually no you dropped in way more than that”. She dropped in very often and at least 10 times during the early weeks which may not seem like much now but it was for me.
Her: “well it doesn’t matter if it was 10 or 20x can’t we move forward”. I told her it actually matters to me and it caused a lot of stress and anxiety and made things hard between my partner and I. She just refused to acknowledge what she did and couldn’t apologise.
**I don’t know how to move forward now...I don’t feel I’ve gotten closure from this experience at all and I would like some tips on what I can say to her while it’s all still fresh rather than leave it?
I since messaged and said thank you for the chat. I really want to clarify that my boundaries needed to be respected for me as a new mum and person regardless of any anxiety I had.
And she replied “yes we just want you to get better, on here to help that’s what families are for”
**I just feel she’s ignoring responsibility that she yes made a mistake but it wasn’t okay.
My fil has no idea that I’d asked her to call before visits and just thinks I’ve been stand offish with her for no reason. It’s driving me insane!
Ohdear11 Wed 05-Feb-20 22:44:23
Yehbutnobut Wed 05-Feb-20 22:53:32
MissAdventure Wed 05-Feb-20 22:57:26
quizqueen Wed 05-Feb-20 22:58:09
Apricity Thu 06-Feb-20 00:25:23
Hithere Thu 06-Feb-20 00:58:41
Buffybee Thu 06-Feb-20 01:21:40
notanan2 Thu 06-Feb-20 02:17:09
Hithere Thu 06-Feb-20 02:24:00
Hithere Thu 06-Feb-20 02:27:19
vampirequeen Thu 06-Feb-20 02:31:49
Madgran77 Thu 06-Feb-20 05:31:44
BlueBelle Thu 06-Feb-20 05:44:01
Chewbacca Thu 06-Feb-20 05:53:29
Chewbacca Thu 06-Feb-20 05:55:10
MawB Thu 06-Feb-20 06:01:10
FlyingSolo Thu 06-Feb-20 06:52:24
BlueBelle Thu 06-Feb-20 07:41:22
MawB Thu 06-Feb-20 09:05:31
Witzend Thu 06-Feb-20 09:12:09
Urmstongran Thu 06-Feb-20 09:17:24
Hetty58 Thu 06-Feb-20 09:20:43
NanaandGrampy Thu 06-Feb-20 09:25:19
Daisymae Thu 06-Feb-20 09:26:50
Shelmiss Thu 06-Feb-20 09:57:35