grandchild

@hettygran
I agree with you. In fact my children never really had sleepovers until they were much older and stayed with a friend.

Do you mean she’s allowed to stay overnight with her other grandmother, but not you? Surely she should be with her mother!?

OP,

Need more information than the one offered.

Family background is key

son is with the family, i see gc every week as do other grandparents but she will take gc to stay with them often.

Oh does she stay over too then? Grandchild doesn’t stay over alone? That’s totally normal!

What do you mean your son is with the family?

If you see your grandchild weekly that’s lovely and more than most I’d say. They clearly have a good relationship with you.

Its good for a child to have one back up place where they are comfortable going in emergancies.

Its not good for a young child to be passed about to multiple houses overnight. Just so others get their "turn". Thats all about the adults not the child

Push this issue and they may distance from you.

Grannyornot

Be careful what you wish for, it’s unlikely a two year old will go to bed and sleep all night in a strange house, you could be up and down all night, and he could be upset.

Just be patient, when he’s a little older, he’ll probably want to stay.

How is your relationship with the parents? Any issues in the past?

Please do not turn this into a grandma competition. You see your gc once a week which is very generous. You are very lucky to see the baby so often

I would not wish to have 2 year old grandchild stay overnight. I have done a couple of times, when asked and parents were going somewhere - it's a nightmare! First time she took ages to go to sleep, then woke up about 3 am with night terrors. Nothing would comfort her and she woke the whole house - another daughter and partner were staying. Finally daughter managed to calm her down but we both had to sleep with her - one on either side in double bed - not much sleep had! Great relief when parents came back next day.

Enjoy a good night's sleep in own bed without disturbance - daytime visits are much better.

A bit off-topic but I'm a bit surprised by the idea that a sleepover at Granny's house is not a desirable thing - comments on this and other threads. My children stayed with both sets of grandparents from a young age and all of my grandchildren stay on an occasional basis, either to give their parents a break or just because they want to. They have all started once they are no longer breastfeeding through the night. We love having them and their parents truly appreciate a little bit of a break. In fact on some occasions they have come to me for what's known as 'Granny Reset' - transient sleep problems which for some reason used to sort themselves out at Granny's house. And if we have broken nights - well, we can catch up when they go home. In our family, it's a very normal thing. Others obviously see it differently.

If everyone’s happy then it’s win/win all round.

I think what troubles most people is the idea of a child as an emotional prop for an adult who “needs” alone time or equally troubling, not a person but a possession in which an adult must have ‘a share’.

Eglantine21,
You nailed it

I say: children are not a timeshare

Yup agree

OP wants overnight cause other gran wants overnight. Not because its happened organically or the kid asked for it or the parents would find it useful.

For that reason, she would slip pretty low down my list of people to ask if I needed or wanted an overnight babysitter.

It’s just a personal preference a lot of the time. I had my granddaughter once, when she was about 18 months, to give her pregnant mum a rest. It was a nightmare, not because of her, she slept beautifully, it was me!! I just couldn’t relax, and the upshot of it was, I didn’t sleep all night! Too much responsibility which we just don’t need. Love having them in the day, but absolutely not at night. We cherish our evenings and sleep. I would say just be grateful for what you have. Once a week is lovely.

Yes quite so, but I wasn't specifically referring to this thread. Its something that seems to crop up quite a bit and it has really surprised me.

I guess that there's no need to be away from home on any regular basis. If he sees more of his other Nana then it's perfectly normal for an occasional overnight there. I would just play it by ear, you see him regularly so I would leave it at that rather than make an issue over nothing.

grannyornot you are definitely a granny and overnight is just sleeping anyway so focus on your weekly visits and having a great relationship with them. I'm sure things will progress over time, stop asking because I think you know the answer for now and it will just be upsetting for you x

Urgent advice please
I normally have my grandchild once a week all day but just got message from dil that she wants him home early as she is going to her folks.should I say something.

No grannyornot, you really shouldn't x

About what? You don’t have a custody arrangement. You aren’t entitled to anything beyond what your son and his wife are willing to offer you. It’s her child, not yours. The level of entitlement to this child’s time is astonishing, and I’d put a quick stop to any time with someone who they had guaranteed time with my child short of a court order.

Who felt they had guaranteed time...

Maybe he’s a bit young still. My grandchildren didn’t do ‘sleepovers’ at our house till they were about four, and it was the parents who asked us to have them, I wouldn’t have presumed they wanted them to sleep away from home. Now the children ask us for a sleepover.
I would think it might be best not to ask grannyornot, just enjoy the times you do see him. Probably before you know it, your son or DiL will be asking you to have him.

"Urgent advice please
I normally have my grandchild once a week all day but just got message from dil that she wants him home early as she is going to her folks.should I say something."

What would you like to tell her?

Yes you should say something, I would suggeest something along the lines of ‘What time do you need him home?’ and then get him there for whatever time DiL says, then give him a kiss, tell DiL what a lovely time you’ve both had, maybe add what he’s eaten, or anything he particularly enjoyed, then tell them to have a good time and leave. In other words, be positive, not negative.

Nope. This isn't a custody arrangement.

When your children were young, how often did they want something that EVERYBODY ELSE had? What was your response?