Missing my baby granddaughter feeling hopeless

How have we accepted anything Boris has said as normal behaviour, Quizqueen? From a personal point of view I distance myself from my parents to keep them safe. Seeing my grandchildren is up to my daughter when she feels ready although slightly impossible at a distance when they are so young. For me it isn't about accepting it's always been keeping everyone as safe as possible especially those I love.

As for Cummings I only hope he hasn't passed the virus on to others on his journey. That is another idiot: do as I say and not as I do.

My children only stay a short journey from me and the youngest grandchild has gone from 'I am a tiny baby aren't I the cutest' to rolling over, sitting up unaided and eating finger foods.
We all need to acknowledge this is difficult and we are all hurting then go back to brave face mode.

Cried all night last night with the pain of not seeing my 2 year old only granddaughter for nearly 3 months. I usually have her every tuesday. My daughter is struggling . I am struggling. We have had a non attended funeral for my father and the separation is getting harder. Where oh where is the light at the end of the tunnel.....

I'm definitely in the minority here. I love my two grandsons to bits, (and my lovely daughters in law) but it's my sons I'm missing during this time. They come to chat at the end of my front path but it's not the same. We're a very close family, with frequent meals together, but the last few months seem to be endless!

if its OK for Cummings.....

One evening you can't see grandchildren and the next day Boris will say that oh it's okay for families to be together now, which is the most ridiculous situation that people in this country have accepted as normal behaviour!

Our grandchildren are a little older 10, 8 & 5. As the weeks go by the photos, phone calls and face timing seems to be getting less, almost as if they are getting on with their lives without us. It's heart breaking going from hands on grandparents to almost an irrelevance.

Aw bless you. Totally relate to your feelings. I’m in lockdown on my own, off work as am vulnerable. My only grandson is 18 months old today and pre-lockdown I was caring for him 2 days per week. My son and partner live 13 miles away and I did see him through the car window the other day when my son popped over for a chat on the drive. He was asleep thankfully, but god do I miss our cuddles and laughter we have had before all this. But I try to say to myself he is safer this way and my son too but so long for the day when things get back to near normal

Ah, it is so hard to not see our loved ones and normal to let it get to us sometimes. Good to share how you feel. You will get to see your daughter again and meet your grandchild, but the uncertainty of knowing when or for how long is very difficult sometimes to cope with. You have to remain positive, but sometimes that takes so much mental energy. Lots of video calling will help. And I'm sure you daughter is taking loads of photos and sending you. Not ideal, but we don't live in an ideal world and it's the best we can do in these circumstances

granannie I feel for you and your baby grandaughter. I too live in Scotland most of my grandchildren live in England and I have two wee cuties who live up north of Scotland. We FaceTime each family at regular times somehow I think the younger boys aren’t really interested in just chatting so I’m always thinking of an interactive project to involve them having fun times. Today my DH and I bought some baby plants and let our grandchildren choose their own one where they were measured and we’ll do so again in a few days time. They seemed to enjoy this interaction and I’ll be pleased to hear of any more we can try out from you lovely Gransnet ladies I look forward to hearing of your innovative interactive games suitable for 6 yr olds upwards to 11yr olds we’ve had a stint of the virtual shop and this went down a treat.

How I agree with you Isabella . After the surprise late arrival of GC number 22 in late 2018 I saw him when he was 4 weeks old. Six weeks later I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer with metasteses to my spine and pelvis. So with treatment I have not been able to visit England see any of my family. That little chip's daddy is a cancer specialist and is overwhelmed with work so sending photos isnt a priority at the moment. But I have heard him chatter on the phone. It's heartbreaking when I get messages on Messenger from my almost 16 year old autistic grandson saying how much he is missing me. But I have had to Gran up and hope for better times.

Or Year off if they find out what the antibodies are and have knowledge why it effects some and not everyone! We might be a bit freer.
Sorry to hear of your loss.
It is hard being on your own. I love my video chats with family.I hope you have found something to occupy your time with. If online there is alot of things going on. This week I joint Gareth Malones choir as another Gransnet Rosalyn mentioned it. It makes me feel upbeat when I'm singing, although sure neighbours think I have a cat now? Take care and keep strong allx

Spot on Doodledog, I couldn’t agree more, brilliant post.

I feel for you granAnnie. It being your 1st must make it even harder. Last time I held our GS he was most definitely a baby. Now he is sitting up unaided, eating solids, rolling over etc etc etc. We are fortunate that sometimes we see him and his parents from a very safe distance, but mostly on video chats. It's hard but it is what it is. Your feelings are completely valid.

Awww take care and just get through the best you can. Thats what the groups for to vent a bit and to support each other.

Prior to lockdown I watched my 4th grandbaby 4 days a week. My daughter had just given birth to my 5th grandbaby and I was lucky enough to see her twice. My husband died on the 29th of December after a 5 year battle with dementia. Lockdown has been very lonely for me as it has been for others. I ache to see my family again (FaceTime is wonderful) but in scotland we haven’t even gone into phase 1 yet. Even then there will be no hugging. I can’t see an end to this anytime soon and it’s getting harder to stay positive. I am a resilient lady but I think, like all of us here, something needs to give soon. I’m hoping the vaccine is the answer.

As soon as you are together again, it will be as it was but that more precious. Your granddaughter will not even remember it. The end is within sight.

I agree. Excellent post, Doodledog.

Well said Doodledog

After nine weeks I do think people are beginning to wonder how we will ever break out of this isolation. Particularly us over 70's. I am so sorry for you all not seeing the new and small babies. For the first time I am hoping to distance meet with my son today or tomorrow it doesn't feel real. I think small children are better on FaceTime or whatever than the older ones, our nine year old GS rushes by waves, says hello and disappears.

I completely understand that a lot of people are separated from their grandchildren, and that it's not easy for anyone living through this awful crisis.

Nevertheless, if someone reaches out to say that she is feeling sad, it is not remotely helpful to point out to her that others have it worse, or that in some sort of hierarchy of pain, she is not at the top of it.

I was brought up like that - I was always being told about the poor children somewhere, or that my twisted ankle (or whatever) was as nothing compared to a broken leg, and at least I could walk, unlike the poor children who had had polio.

It took me until later adulthood to learn to own my own feelings, and to allow myself to just accept that I was sad, or felt ill, or was hurting, and that that was ok. I had a right to feel as I felt, however much someone else might be feeling worse on some subjective scale of pain.

I tried very hard to let my own children tell me about what they felt, and resist the temptation to belittle those feelings, and I hope I avoided repeating the past at least most of the time. There is no point, anyway - people feel what they feel, and adding resentment at having those feelings diminished will only make them feel worse.

I really don't mean for this to come out as some sort of lecture, and I apologise if it sounds that way (I think it might). It's just something that triggers all those feelings I had as a child that I was wrong to be anything but happy (or at worst, stoical) and that my real feelings had to be suppressed in case they annoyed other people.

All I can say is that not to worry. Your GD will bond with you whatever her age!
My parents did not get to see my son until he was one as I lived in Australia at the time. In particular, my son adored my dad right up until the time that we both sat with dad when he passed away.
Children are a lot more flexible than we think. I believe that it doesn't matter how much or how little time is spent with them, show them love and a bit of patience and they will respond

I agree Jefm- most of mine are 72 miles away and i see them about easter,once in summer hols,half term maybe,not always, and just before xmas,to take gifts, unless they can come to me- but with parents working, and various kids activities & hobbies its difficult- sometimes i can make it for birthdays,but not always as i dont drive,its been a bit easier since one of my sons still at home learned to drive 2yrs ago,but has to be when he can take me due to his studies. (all before lockdown) i dont often see the 3 near me as much as id like due them being busy too! I understand what you mean. I too have just rang them but we chat and i usually take at least one of them on holidays with me.(it was youngest's very first turn this year - shes 6) but it was shutdown& cancelled so we're both very dissapointed!) But its not all roses even in regular times.

It makes me furious that Dominic Cummings & the government has made a mockery of this by his selfish actions.

And yes it IS ok to be a bit blue,and to express that- but we have to get a grip also,and not let ourselves slip too far down, things are bad still at the moment, but we have to hold on to theres to be better days ahead- still lots to look forward to- we are still here! And we owe it our beloved Children& grandchildren to be their rock in these unwieldy times.we mustn't go under. For all our sakes.