Missing my baby granddaughter feeling hopeless

I do feel for you GranAnnie, but i have 8 grandchildren i am missing terribly, only 3 live near me (still a drive away) and i still am keeping away from them- and i implore you, IF and WHEN you could go all that way to see them please DONT stay at their house! Not till theres a vaccine for everyone! (That would be unsafe for them and you, especially as you work in NHS!) You dont HAVE to stay at her house, and im sure it would be unsafe to do so until such a time theres a readily available vaccine.(im sure you know that as youre in NHS!) Please think safety! And I dont often agree with MawB but, today i do- she did NOT say your feelings were invalid! And i do think shes speaking sense in that we all need to be unselfish and more mature, and get on with things, and yes im missing my own GC, and have a new GD due soon,which in all probability i wont get to see in person till shes a few months old at least,only a few photos or facetimes, but at least, as MawB said, we have something to look forward to- unlike some poor souls who have lost family, young and old- so Buck Up ladies! And look forward!

Thank you granAnnie for sharing this today and to all you other grans. I too have woken up today having a blue day about missing my first grandchild who is nearly 8 months! And as a mental health worker in the NHS myself feel it is absolutely okay and essential to share with others when we are having a low day especially when living alone! So thank you and everyone for sharing your experiences that has enabled me to feel less isolated with my thoughts and feelings today!

It’s okay to be not okay in these very challenging times for us all, whatever our circumstances and differences it is so important to feel able to express these feelings freely and to feel heard and understood and in turn as you have GranAnnie helped a lot of us feel understood.

I find this Gransnet so helpful since becoming a Nana one recent idea that I tried was reading my first book to my grandson via Zoom I bought the same book and with my son holding open the book and turning the pages as I was reading was a wonderful experience and a way of our little ones recognising our voices , so grateful for technology!
Take good care all

I feel for you so much, we just have to trust things will get better soon and make the most of FaceTime etc. It’s certainly not easy and I’m so sorry ? I try to keep very busy and keep in touch with my outside world, keep talking. .......yes those old chestnuts!! ?

granAnnie, you don't say how near to retirement age you are. Would it be possible to move near to your daughter once you retire or even before that if you could find work? As we get older it is great to be near family if possible though I realise that isn't the case for everyone. Then you could perhaps be thinking of the future instead of dwelling on the awful situation we're all currently in. If you missed out on the first couple/few years of the little one's life you could make up for it later on. I didn't see my GS much for the first 2 years because he didn't live near me. But my DD moved closer to me and I have been helping to bring him up for the past 10 years which has been wonderful. It's my guess that some caravan/holiday parks may open later in the summer. Perhaps there is one near your DD where you could stay and see the little one even if it's only at a distance. I know I'd feel just like you do and send you my very best wishes.

Dear all as difficult as this situation is some of us have had to cope with not seeing their grand children regularly as a fact of life. I adore my two now 15 and 12 but as I live 200 miles away and the family are always busy I have been lucky if I have seen them 4 timeS A YEAR! Various reasons. But let me reassure everyone that doesn’t mean the bonds can’t be strong. We rarely use FaceTime I phone about every 2 Weeks and I write a letter to them every two Months. I have desperately missed not seeing them over the years but I know they love me and I love them. Resilience is definitely the key as is finding lots of things to do to keep busy yourself. I now also have a 7 month baby grandson who I haven’t seen since early March, he too is 200 miles away ( youngest son). I have missed not having a cuddle but know that the bond will be there. I do sympathise as I know what it’s like to miss your grand children, for many of you once lockdown is lifted it will be resolved for me it won’t. But such is life xx

I don't think I know anyone who, after all this time, hasn't had a 'wobble' at some time. And the longer it goes on, the more frequent they get. Sometimes you just need to write it down or talk about it to get those feelings out. I just hate it though when instead of empathising, some people have to go one better, i.e. 'I'm worse off than you!' or worse still 'Gran up!' I wish people wouldn't be so nasty.

I have to say I am with Mawb on this one. Having a lifechanging and life limiting condition I see things through a very different light these days.

Many of us are sad in similar ways. We have to be optimistic. It will not be long before there are quick tests for 'are you infected' - then I'm hoping we can meet our dearests having all first got 'OK' from the tests. Fingers crossed and hugs to us all.

Isn't it hard? I ache to hug my DGC; my children too although they are adults. I have seen my DD, who lives nearby, and we sat in the garden; I wanted to walk over to her and give her a cuddle as she is having a hard time for many reasons, and felt such frustration at keeping apart.

Keep the chin up - we have come through these weeks, done as we have been told, and I hope you can make up the missing time with your lovely new baby soon. xx

Hi GranAnnie, I feel the same, my 3rd grandson was born in January and I haven’t held him for ages. Get a Portal from Facebook, it is not the same but at least they can see you and you can have some contact with them albeit virtual. My daughter-in-law sends regular little videos and while this is tearing my heart apart, at least I feel a little bit involved with him. My other two grandchildren are older so at least I can video talk to them. This time is so hard for everyone but little face time calls do help a little bit. Hope some of this is useful x

I can see this from all perspectives. granAnnie, I knew somebody who was living abroad when her baby was born, she had regular FaceTime or some such with her Mother in Scotland, boy did that little one know her Nana, she really knew her from regular chatting and seeing her on a phone or whatever. As for getting used to a different way of life when grandchildren move abroad, I can’t get used to it. I miss mine every day, though thankfully see them every other day on Facetime. I should have been with them for the last two weeks. Where they live are opening their airports next month, but will not allow visitors from the UK.

Ch24 I am so sorry for your family's loss.... pray to your little angel granddaughter to keep the rest of your family safe

Oh forgot to say .. you can keep and read the daily journal to her when your together again, and again when she’s old enough to know why you were apart.????.

Hi I feel for you. It is so hard. I’m lucky (sort of) as my daughter and family live less than 10 minutes away so I have seen her and my grandson at a distance. It must be some hard for you not even to visit for even a short time. I live in Wales and don’t know when things will be lifted. So fed up with the lockdown now but what can you do? I hope you are feeling a bit better today. Sometimes, it just helps to vent. Sending love and hugs ❤️ ?

You can use WhatsApp to video call amazing .You can also link up to 4 different numbers,and all see yourselves as well as hold conversations. All you need is your mobile phone .

Yogadatti, Doodledog
What lovely thoughtful posts. And moreover, helpful.

For you granAnnie and all those going through such difficult times my heart goes out to you. We each have our own story and sometimes its okay to fall apart. Its okay to not be okay.
One day, things will be good again. Just not quite yet.

GranAnnie - I am also in the NHS and a granny. You have my sympathy and empathy. It is such an emotional roller coaster wanting to see / hug family but also seeing very clearly from the ‘other side’ what is going on; the pragmatic head says be sensible while the emotional head is crying. We are all wobbling at times and it is good that we feel able to share on a site such as this - don’t beat yourself up, we are only human.....big hugs

It's a awful time for us all missing my weekly babysitter/ school run day with DGD 's see Skype calls now and again .Visited their front garden once too upsetting for me and the oldest one she's heartbroken we can't hug etc don't know who cried more me or her ?.I did look after DGD1 constantly from newborn we are very close or were

Hi just wanted to share that I feel the same, I have 4 grandchildren and they all live 40 - 60 minutes drive away so havn't seen them over the lockdown. FaceTime is not the same. Just beginning to meet up, but for a walk and keeping a distance, so no hugs, so difficult. We are sticking to the rules, and I so resent people who don't. (The truth is I'm jealous but I understand that the rules are there for a reason and I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to anyone!). It is hard, we will get through this. xxx

My only son (younger son died aged 12) lives in Los Angeles with his wife and their two young sons, we are very close and visit them 2 or 3 times each year, my husband and I are in our 70s but both very healthy and fit with no underlying health conditions, I am petrified we may never be allowed to travel there again. We are considering emigrating there but not sure if that will be an option anymore. My husband is optimistic but I think he is unrealistic. It is so hard as we are all so close, my son and DIL FaceTime us daily but I need reassurance we will be able to visit them again! Obviously they will travel here but I need to know I can visit them. This is such a difficult time for older people.

Welcome Carole53

granAnnie, firstly, congratulations on your little granddaughter.. My niece has had a baby girl overnight, and seeing the photos has brought it all back.

Please don’t be upset by some of the thoughtless comments on this thread. You feel what you feel, and as you rightly point out, nobody has the right to tell you that you shouldn’t feel that way.

I wonder if it would help if you put together a diarybox for the baby? A collection of little things between you and her - some to do with the virus, such as news clippings, and others just little thoughts between you - whatever suits your personality, but maybe a poem you come across, a photo of a sunset, or one of you at work - things that will help he to know who you were during this time. You could keep it until she is old enough to appreciate what will then be history. I love looking at old photos of my family, but how much better would it be to have a personalised view of life in 2020? This will be taught in History classes one day, so she could pass it down to her own children.

That way, you could keep the bond between you, and not miss out on the ‘getting to know you’ thing - just move it down the line a bit.

Just a thought, but it’s what I would do in the circumstances.

I absolutely sympathise with you. This is just such a sad situation for everyone. I too have a little granddaughter. Ellie was born six months ago. We had just one month before so much worry started. My daughter developed a breast lump and they thought it was cancerous. She bravely had that dealt with and then her Multiple Sclerosis type autoimmune disease reared it's ugly head. She struggled daily to do the basics like do up the baby grow poppers etc as her hands were affected. By now she was suffering from post natal depression. I am the manager of a care home and would go in daily before work to get the baby dressed and do some chores for my daughter, but then this Covid-19 hit. She has been shielding ever since but struggling. Her husband is lovely but he is not a hands on dad and is also working very long hours from home, so is stuck in his office from 8 until around 6:30. I am desperate to support my daughter but so scared of taking the infection to them. We have totally respected lockdown rules but I have now gone to sit in their garden twice. It was so awful to not be able to hold my granddaughter or do anything to help Katie. She goes back to work in September but will work from home. Her entire maternity leave has been one concern after another. I will have to stop work so I can help her with child care but I am fearful that the recent easing of lockdown measures are sending us towards another peak. I feel so depressed about everything. Can't see my grandson either or my other three children. We are drip fed bad news constantly. No wonder we find it hard to see any future or a time when we can hold our loved ones again.

Hi, I haven't seen my grandson since March either and I too have missed the milestones. He will be 1 year old on 3 June so no party with all the family.
I get lots of videos and photos of him but I am glad that he is safe.
Have to bond all over again.

That's lovely Tinydancer...that made me smile. I love seeing my granddaughter laugh, on a video chat she had her mop out and was cleaning the floor and then started cleaning the phone I was calling on with the sound of her infectious giggle it was hilarious.

Dear grannieAnne things will get better. I am close to my 4 grandsons but realise that for them to remain safe I need to listen to the WHO. I feel that the government dont really care about the common person as their attitude is use common sense. I've seen one of my old work colleagues become dangerously ill and another die due to the virus, yes I worked as a qualified nurse for 40 years and retired last year. Due to health problems I have been advised not to return. By keeping to proper guidelines laid down by WHO I am at safe. Please miss your family knowing you are keeping them safe and yourself ready to see them with loads of hugs when it is properly safe. Much love xxx