Missing my baby granddaughter feeling hopeless

Good morning grann Annie, your story pulled at my heartstrings ❤️, I too am a first time grandma??????? so I can imagine how you must feel .. if you have face time I suggest that you and your daughter arrange a special time for you once a week to see your granddaughter .. I’m sure it would make the world of difference in these times??? when you think ? of and feel her keep it in the present moment and speak to her daily in your mind as if she is with you .. imagination is soooo powerful and she will feel your presence for sure. Also writing ✍️ a little daily journal of your feelings and thoughts would be a brilliant way to vent any frustration at not seeing her in person. Stay hopeful that this is just a phase that will pass and think of the joy at seeing her again and having the tightest is cuddles ?. Love carol London?.

I'm so lucky to have my DD and her now 10 month old living with us. But it is at huge cost to her, her DH and my GC. SIL is a doctor so he won't risk their health. They haven't been together for 8 weeks now. In that time the baby has gone from crawling to standing and his daddy missed it all.
(I do realise that service personnel have this problem all the time too.)
But it is still so difficult to deal with.

I feel for you OP. I think Maw missed the point completely! Just think of the reunion; how wonderful it will be

We have the same thing. Our baby granddaughter is just 7 months old. We live in Scotland and they live in the south of England. I count myself very lucky to have seen her twice since she was born. My friend hasn't seen her baby granddaughter as she was born just before lockdown and they were not allowed visitors. They don't live far from her in Scotland. Because of restrictions I don't know when she will get her first cuddle.

It is heart wrenching to be unable to cuddle our loved ones right now. Two weeks before lockdown we relocated to be in the next village from my Son and his family!! My gorgeous VS is nearly 2 and FaceTime is agony he ends up frustrated and upset running to the front door. SO I have been spending all my spare time preparing for when we can see each other. I bought a keyboard and have been learning all his favourite songs, I've been getting the garden sorted so he will have his own patch as well as an area to play his beloved football. I am really lucky to have a hobby doo (model railway!!) and I spend a lot more time than usual getting projects done on it that I know he will love. Every know and then he makes me a picture and my so drops it off with my meds and I send one back. But basically I try to spend time doing\making things for him for when we can see each other. Hope that helps

We are all ‘suffering’ like this. However, surely the health of our loved ones is far more important than us feeling isolated from them. Much as I hate not having physical contact with my family I know that sometime in the future we will have a wonderful get-together.

Oh Maw. You and I could well be identical twins as our thought processes are so similar. I heartily agree with you. Our family live in sydney so we do not see our grandchildren very often and goodness knows when we will be able to visit again with the virus about. Nevertheless one must look on it as a temporary situation so as you say"Gran Up"everyone and realise that it is not forever. Hopefully anyway!!

we have 6 grand children ,they youngest is nearly 5 months her brother is 2 , my son has twins age now 20 months ,and 2 girls or 6-7 ,I have not seen the twins or older girlsfor 13 weeks ,the baby and bro for 12 ,its breaks my heart ,yes we have portal,but not the same as a hug and seeing them , the baby won't know us .but ,they are safe , not gonna lie ,its really hard as we usually see them every week ,and the my grandson 2-3 days a week,

I haven’t seen my girls for months either and I long to hug them and hold them close. This is going to finish and you will see them. Think of them waiting for you there like a present.

I do feel for you my baby granddaughter lives in Dubai and I was due to visit for her birthday, feel even worse for her other grandmother who is recently widowed and can’t see any of her kids or grandchildren due to distance, sure it will be a distant bad memory soon, stay strong x

I FaceTime my little grandsons. Can you do that? Or Skype? It helps just to see them every day. I’m longing fir a cuddle though but I know it will be a long time yet as I’m vulnerable and not allowed out

Feeling ok to open up some difficult feelings does not equate with weakness.

Very true, granAnnie. And GN is generally a good place for talking things over with others in similar circumstances. I hope your thread has been helpful to you.

I did not say your feelings are invalid.
I said we need to be big enough, mature enough and unselfish enough to put the welfare of those we profess to love more than ourselves, ahead of our own. And having moaned, move on.

MawB, to give some context I am myself a working healthcare professional in the NHS and have worked in my profession for 40 years this year, and would never do anything to put my family, or anyone for that matter, at risk. I take the point that to use the word 'hopeless' may have sounded insensitive when others have it far worse - and I do know this working in the NHS during a pandemic. What I have learned though this crisis, is that it is ok to be vulnerable. Feeling ok to open up some difficult feelings does not equate with weakness. I appreciate you have your point of view that you wished to convey, but it is not ok to say to someone that their feelings are invalid.

No I would never forgive myself that’s why I’m not seeing them and won’t until it’s deemed safer. I’m not feeling hopeless and am eternally grateful that my family are well ?and coping
marvellously.
GranAnnie is just looking for a bit of friendly companionship whilst trying to get through a difficult time that she didn’t expect.

Yes it is all relative
Would you ever forgive yourself if you unwittingly passed on the virus to a grandchild? Or if they developed Kawasaki syndrome as a complication? As has happened to my cousin’s great niece.
Would your adult children forgive themselves if you as an older person died from the virus?
Whether we are used to it or not we just need to get on with it. No point in feeling hopeless save that for those whose family are terminally ill.
Our parents and grandparents were made of sterner stuff when they were parted from their children for months or years during evacuation, but they put up with it for their children’s good.
My youngest grandchildren don’t understand either but I refuse to add to everybody’s stress levels by making a fuss about how I feel. Vent by all means but pick yourself up and look forward to happier days.

Maw its all relative.Those grans that have children overseas love them dearly of course ,but the difference is they probably had a very sad time when their children up and left to start a new life, and have now got used to a different kind of relationship.
This was thrust upon us with very little notice, we’re not used to it yet and suffering, as are the children if their not old enough to understand.
We will all get used to this eventually but let’s hope we don’t have to .

Twins, Mamabear, how lovely. I’m sure that for you, and me, and others with grandchildren born in or just before lockdown, the crux of the matter is that we worry for our own children, who have had a very strange welcome to motherhood. Apparently cases of post natal depression have soared in lockdown, which is hardly surprising. My own DD - first baby, born early by C-section - has felt very isolated, with her partner a frontline worker, no hospital visitors (even the baby’s father), no midwife or health visitor home visits, no chance to get out and about and meet other new mums, no access to the baby clinic or the GP surgery. The recent relaxation of restrictions has been a godsend, and our two face to face meetings so far have done us both the world of good, even at a 2 metre distance. It would be even better if I could give my girl a hug when she’s worried about her baby’s health.

Missing R(11) and L(9). Missed Ruaridh's first birthday and first steps. Mum and Dad are very good at sending frequent videos. I fully support why we're doing what we're doing but the 'get a grip' philosophy isn't quite working.
Today heard of one gran who thinks it's a super idea to buy a shower curtain, cut holes for the arms and cuddle the DGC!

I miss my grandchildren too of course but are things not getting a bit out of proportion?
Spare a thought for Grans whose grandchildren are on the other side of the Atlantic or even on the other side of the world. They live with this day in, day out and certainly do not love their grandchildren any less.
When ours were born we lived in London and both sets of GPS lived in Scotland. They saw the little ones perhaps three or four times a year. Even when my in laws moved to East Sussex, we saw them perhaps once a month or every two months for Sunday lunch.
We didn’t have FaceTime or Zoom just regular landline phone calls.
If OP is working full time it cannot have been that easy even under normal conditions to see her new grandchild all that often, surely?
So come on, Grans, Gran up!

Sympathies, granannie. We have a baby Gdd born in January, last cuddle was 4th March. We did have a socially-distanced meet up with dd and Gdd the other day - halfway between our houses, but that was the only one since lockdown and there were no cuddles.

However my dd is very good at sending photos and little videos nearly every day, which is lovely. Could your dd do similar, if she isn’t already? Of course it’s not the same, but it does help a lot.

This echoes my feelings too. Maybe after 9 weeks 0f lockdown, the impact of separation is really hitting home. I broke down this morning over the same issue really wanting physical contact with two sons and 2 grandchildren. DH offered to drive over to the GC, half an hour away but I thought seeing them in person would be too difficult for them as well as me. Facetime it has to be.

Big huggs to you all, and for giving me some of your time when you are hurting too You are all amazing. My daughter and I face-time daily and she sends photos and lots of videos

I’m so with you and sending a virtual hug. It is literally hurting that I can’t hold my two grandchildren. On FaceTime they are growing up in front of my eyes and I feel that I’m missing such a lot of their lives. I’m in Cornwall and they are in London. We were hands on childminders for them for one week every month as they both work as Police officers. We adored our time there but since March we haven’t been with them and it’s beginning to feel more and more painful. I’m praying that soon I can hold them again and hug my daughter too. X

granAnnie and Mamabear how difficult it is for you both. I miss mine of course, but we FaceTime and send stories and my daughter and son both send pictures and video clips of the children. It’s much harder when they’re babies, as it’s much more difficult for them to bond with you, but please ask your daughters to send video clips and pictures, and do some FaceTime with them as then the babies will recognise your voice and face when you actually see them again.
I feel for your daughter Mamabear. My daughter had twins and they’re hard work. And with a two year old as well. She definitely needs your help, but is going to have to manage. Could you do her laundry for her? My daughter delivers laundry to the front door and we collect it and do it for her. It’s a small way to help her at this difficult time.