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Can you - do you - drive?

(205 Posts)
geekesse Tue 26-May-20 12:25:21

Over the past 24 hours on GN, I’ve seen any number of women claiming they can’t drive, or don’t drive on motorways, or they are afraid of driving long distances, or that their DH does all the driving. I was quite astonished. I thought these attitudes were ancient history. Have I got the wrong impression, or is it true that older women are mostly timid drivers or don’t drive at all?

Noreen3 Wed 27-May-20 11:07:47

I'm 68,and never learned.I had a husband to drive me all over the place,so it didn't matter.But now I'm by myself,relying on public transport.It must be so much easier at the moment if you can drive to fetch shopping,or a short drive to somewhere nice.I used to spend quite a lot of time on a bus,having a day out somewhere,at the moment it's a quick ride into town for essentials.But I suppose if I had a car it would be a struggle to pay for the upkeep of it on a single state pension.

Gwenisgreat1 Wed 27-May-20 11:03:49

It was learning to drive that brought DH and I together 50+ years ago. For a while i would drive anywhere, through Glasgow and surrounding area, round Aberdeen. When we moved down to Yorkshire the idea of driving round the cities here Leeds, Bradford etc, made me quite a bit wary. The mistake was giving up my own car (after DH retired). He didn't like the way I drove and continued niggling me about my driving. I don't mind driving around Harrogate where we live, but not with him in the car. Any further and he can drive!

b1zzle Wed 27-May-20 11:02:29

Used to love driving but two years ago at the age of 70, I was told by my optician that I couldn't legally drive any longer due to double vision. I have now been told that if I have prisms put in my distance glasses, I should be allowed by the DVLA to drive. Now can't wait for opticians to open again ...

Seefah Wed 27-May-20 11:00:14

I’ve been driving for the past 42 years and loved it! I drove all over UK, Europe, and when I lived in America. Years ago I used to drive between London and Croatia alone but wouldn’t do that now. Just in case. Of what I’m not sure smile. I loved all my cars, Mini, BMW, Peugeot, Spitfire, Mercedes, all except my Fiat !!!

TanaMa Wed 27-May-20 10:53:57

I am 85 and drive anywhere and everywhere, even abroad. As there is no public transport where I live I would be stranded if I didn't drive.

Grammaretto Wed 27-May-20 10:49:18

My FiL in his mid 90s has at last given up driving. A great relief for everyone except him.
He still charges around on his mobility scooter. I don't think he has ever been on a bus!
I hope the next generation won't be so dependant on cars especially with the jammed up roads, pollution and worst of all - accidents.
There are plans afoot to make public transport free for youngsters to get them used to using it and not be given a car for their 17th birthday which seems to happen.
But the covid-19 will have set these plans back.

Elijah Wed 27-May-20 10:32:32

I loved driving it gave me my freedom. On the weekend I would just get up jump in the car go shopping have breakfast and then just tootle around. Then 3years ago my eyesight got so bad I had to give it up. One of the worse days of my life. I now have to ask others for lifts or pay for taxis etc. I hate relying on others waiting for them to find the time etc. I really miss my freedom?

Disneyfan Wed 27-May-20 10:26:22

I love driving and couldn't wait to pass my test. Now 60 I still love the freedom of going off for a drive. Love motorways and enjoy driving in France too.

Paperbackwriter Wed 27-May-20 10:24:51

My father didn't approve of 'women drivers' though he was actually a terrible driver himself. He failed his driving test for being too slow and I don't think he ever did over 25 mph regardless of road conditions. He was scared of motorways, very critical of other motorists. I was 18 when he died and my mother and I immediately took driving lessons and shared the car he'd left. I'd find life pretty hard without a car but I don't use it as much as I used to as London public transport is so brilliant (and free!). Or at least that's how I used to feel. I can't imagine getting on a bus or the tube right now..

Leah50 Wed 27-May-20 10:22:04

I'm with you BlueBelle, never driven & never wanted to. Me, DH & the kids always had bikes, I only stopped cycling everywhere when I was knocked off for the second time three years ago. Thought I might not be lucky a third time so got rid of my beloved old bike. DH, elder daughter & her husband have never driven either.

Coconut Wed 27-May-20 10:19:17

I dislike driving these days simply because of the sheer volume of traffic, but living in a little village, my life would be very difficult without my wheels ! The furthest I drive is an hour and a half away to visit my sons in the next County. When I go long distance to stay with friends, I always take the train these days, just so much easier and stress free.

Craftycat Wed 27-May-20 10:18:28

I'm 69 & have driven since I was 18.
I would much rather drive than be driven - especially by DH who takes too many risks.
I have driven all over UK but draw the line at driving abroad (have you seen Greek drivers!!)
DH worked in US on & off for years so is used to driving on the wrong side.
Works for us. If we are going out for the night he drives there - I drive back. I can resist alcohol if I have to.

pat9 Wed 27-May-20 10:18:16

I am over 80 and still drive, sometimes long distances but I don't like driving at night so much now

GranJan60 Wed 27-May-20 10:16:04

learnt to drive ages ago but never very confident. Used to do motorway driving but now live near M25 which is a racetrack and terrifying. DH thinks he’s the world’s best driver and most others (including me!) are rubbish. Also now have Volvo with lots of “driver aids” which beep if, for example, it thinks a car is too close etc. Sudden beeps scare me - always think I’ve done something wrong. Therefore I let DH do driving - although it’s loss of independence.

Jan16 Wed 27-May-20 10:15:54

I am still driving in my mid 70s and love it. I know several ladies who can drive but tend to sit back and let their husbands take over which is fine until the husband becomes ill and can’t drive.

Aepgirl Wed 27-May-20 10:15:27

I can’t imagine not driving. My car has been my mental lifeline in the past. I have a friend who is always asking people for lifts. On one occasion when I was taking her somewhere I asked her if she ever regretted not being able to drive and she said ‘I can drive but my husband won’t allow me to’. I was astonished and it made me think carefully before I transported her in my car again. She is younger and fitter than me also.

ctussaud Wed 27-May-20 10:13:36

How can I be sure? I haven’t done a test run to Barnard Castle.

henetha Wed 27-May-20 10:09:07

I can and do drive, at every opportunity. I love driving.
And I'm not timid. I used to drive too fast, but have learned to calm down a bit as I've grown older.

Ladyleftfieldlover Wed 27-May-20 10:07:55

I adore driving and have done so for over forty years. I hate being driven so when it’s my OH and I, I generally drive. We have our own cars so if it just me or both of us, we use my car. If he is doing his own thing he takes his car. I have friends whose husband ‘let’ them drive! What is that all about? Straying from the subject a bit - I used to help run a local Playgroup and we could only have committee meetings during the day. One or two husbands went to the pub every night and refused to babysit. I put my foot down and suggested we meet alternate evening and daytime. It is difficult to run a meeting with toddlers and babies running wild. Who knows what happens now over thirty years later!

kangaroo73 Wed 27-May-20 10:07:22

I’m 74 next month and still drive. I’ve thought of giving up mainly because of the expense. My car’s only worth about £500 but has cost me thousands in various repairs. I take it to Halfords which is convenient. It’s due for an MOT soon and I know they’ll find something that’s going to need doing yet again. I’d like to have the courage to get rid of it but it’s a means if independence to me

Mollygo Wed 27-May-20 10:06:29

I love driving-we always lived far from our families and one DD lives at the other end of the country so motorway driving is the norm.
We share driving, but I admit that driving to meet friends in Birmingham in the dark and in pouring rain, I happily sat back and let DH drive.

timetogo2016 Wed 27-May-20 10:03:49

I love driving .
I was not a motorway driver for years,but now i love it and drive all over the country,Dh can`t drive so we don`t have issues on that front.
And i was pleasantly suprised to hear my two sons and their wives think i am a good and safe driver.
Whoooowhooo

dragonfly46 Wed 27-May-20 10:02:38

I love driving and will drive anywhere which is lucky as my DC live on the other side of the country. In fact I am thinking of having a new car for my birthday next month.
I am also happy driving abroad as we lived in Holland for 18 years.

That is horrible Urmston we never know when these things will hit us as it comes out of the blue.

Both my DC have cars although my DS who first lived in London and is now in Brighton finds his car sits on the road most of the time as they walk everywhere and he used to get the train to work.

Dorsetcupcake61 Wed 27-May-20 09:58:09

For a variety of reasons I never learnt to drive. In the past few years had the opportunity but decided that in my late 50s it might be a bit late plus financially taxis cheaper than overall cost of running a car. There are disadvantages such as time a simple journey by public transport can take plus that sense of freedom. At this moment in time I regret it. I live in a beautiful part of country but cant see any of it. I'm high risk so public transport not a risk I would take just for a change of scenery. Food deliverys can be problematical. I'm lucky in that I have a garden. Over the past week I have thought how lovely it would be able to drive somewhere pretty and quiet. It looks like holidays may be UK based,but as a non driver rely on coaches.... Fingers crossed things do improve eventually.

Chardy Wed 27-May-20 09:57:59

When I see women being driven to the supermarket and husband standing round inside like a spare part, oblivious that he's getting in people's way, I do wonder if I'm in a 50s film.
One friend, who drove in her youth and when the children were at home, has not driven in 30 years. Then husband couldn't drive for medical reasons...