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Can you - do you - drive?

(205 Posts)
geekesse Tue 26-May-20 12:25:21

Over the past 24 hours on GN, I’ve seen any number of women claiming they can’t drive, or don’t drive on motorways, or they are afraid of driving long distances, or that their DH does all the driving. I was quite astonished. I thought these attitudes were ancient history. Have I got the wrong impression, or is it true that older women are mostly timid drivers or don’t drive at all?

glammanana Wed 27-May-20 09:57:49

I have driven since I was 32 when I had to make easier getting my youngest son to school which was off a regular bus route.
My husband was shocked I passed first time but he indulged me and bought me a little mini,how I loved that little car.
During holidays I have shared the driving over the years and one year drove back from Costa Brava in a VW Camper Van when my husband took ill on the journey.
This summer I am looking for a new car as I sold the car my husband had until he died last December it was far too expensive on insurance for me so as soon as the lockdown is over I shall be out and about looking in car showrooms.

hicaz46 Wed 27-May-20 09:55:59

I am over 70 and still enjoy driving and as my family live in different parts of the country I have to use the motorways frequently, the M1, M 69, M25, M23, or M6 going the other way. I am also happy to drive in Europe and have driven in USA including driving out of Miami on an 8 lane highway with vehicles overtaking on both sides of me. I wasn’t in the wrong lane by the way, it’s just what they do. I sometimes feel safer on motorways than other roads.

Froglady Wed 27-May-20 09:52:04

I'm 67 and love driving. It was the best thing my mum did, teaching me and my 2 sisters to drive, She drove in the war and passed on her skills to us. I will be driving in France next year, should have been this year but the virus put an end to those plans. I will drive anywhere, motorways, etc. I think everybody should be able to drive as you never know when you might need those skills.

Reddevil3 Wed 27-May-20 09:51:19

I’m 79, love driving anywhere but in the last couple of years I don’t really like driving at night. I live in France and even the motorways are unlit.

Redhead56 Wed 27-May-20 09:37:30

Been driving since my 20s always enjoyed the independence. I don't know why but lately I drive where I know and I don't drive on motorways.

downtoearth Wed 27-May-20 08:29:58

I learned to drive at 36, passed second time.

Ex husband was always at work, so needed to drive to ferry children around, and visit mum 20 odd miles away.

Ex husband was always knocking my confidence,
"dont drive there you wont cope" or " you wont cope with a motorway "

I need to drive as I live in an area where a car is essential,I visit a friend who lives in Essex so do use the M25 for a short part of journey, also M11 ,I dont enjoy it,and dont feel relaxed about it,I do rely on the sat nav for which lanes to use.

Not sure if the car will pass MOT in August, I cannot afford to buy another as I just have state pension/ pension credit.

With the restricted use on publuc transport, I doubt very much I will be going anywhere.

Carenza123 Wed 27-May-20 08:14:55

I am frustrated as at 71 my husband prefers to drive and I have fallen in with the trap of allowing him. I have said to him that if I don’t drive - I will lose my confidence! Think it’s a control thing. I had no problem driving when we lived abroad but find my confidence is knocked due to his critical attitude.

SueH49 Wed 27-May-20 07:17:06

I'm another one who enjoys driving and have been doing so for 52 years. I'm not keen on night driving or these days driving in cities or congested areas. Motorways are no problem for me though.
Husband also drives but we tend to drive our own cars if on extended trip we share the driving though. - I am actually picking up my brand new car on Friday morning.

Grammaretto Wed 27-May-20 06:35:36

I've been enjoying your driving stories.
Like many of you I passed my test when I was 18 so I could be independent and a help to my DM.

DH and I have always shared the driving and our holidays always involved long distances across Europe with 4 x DC and a tent.
Great times!

We still have a small car and would like to go electric. All our DC drive and it is a useful skill. DD lives in rural Scotland so there is no alternative.
Some jobs insist on your being a driver.

I dislike night driving and our car has hardly been out since early March so
I had better check the battery.

I will miss the quiet roads if and when everyone gets back in their cars.

geekesse Wed 27-May-20 00:55:54

Thank you to everyone who responded to my curiosity. I love motorway driving - no traffic lights, roundabouts or sharp turns, and all the traffic is going to same direction. With the roof down and the sun overhead, a long journey is bliss. I guess I’m lucky not to have a DH to spoil the fun smile

Katek Tue 26-May-20 23:17:18

I enjoy driving - can’t say i would drive any vehicle though as I’m very small and can have visibility issues in some cars. Distance doesn’t bother me, nor does night time driving, but I do prefer country/town driving to city Kamikaze drivers!

52bright Tue 26-May-20 23:09:52

I passed my test first time at the age of 34 but have never been a confident driver. My drive to work was 18 miles partly on motorway but since I've retired I only drive very locally. Dh prefers to drive when we are together and he is a critical passenger.
My mother, aged 89, is still driving but only locally and during the day. It has kept her very independent. She learned to drive aged 60 after my dad died and has been fairly confident though I think this will be her last year.

My daughter passed her test aged 30. It took her 3 or 4 attempts but she is a much better driver than me.

welbeck Tue 26-May-20 22:36:00

for those who have difficulties with confidence, may i suggest a lesson with a good calm instructor.
maybe one who is aged over 50, as more likely to understand how you were originally taught, as some techniques do change slightly.
for those who have not passed the test, if you find the right instructor, give it a go. if you feel uncomfortable, it may be the wrong person for you; or it may be the driving, in which case maybe it's not for you. but worth a try.
i know a lady who took her test 8 or 9 times before she passed. i admire her perseverance.

Gingster Tue 26-May-20 22:15:08

I have been driving for almost 50 years. Over those years I dislike driving more and more. I think I’m a good driver but others have no patience., Take risks and everyone is in such a hurry. I have suffered panic attacks and wouldn’t consider driving in motorways or dual carriageways. I drive locally and only if and when I have to.

BBbevan Tue 26-May-20 21:25:31

I can drive but I don't now. My eyes are not too good

Factfinder Tue 26-May-20 21:21:29

I do drive, but I totally empathise with all those who are nervous and reluctant about it. I passed my test in my youth but never had a car, then got married to someone who drove and he did all the driving. Five years ago my husband became unable to drive through a health condition and suddenly I became the only driver. I would love to say that I stepped up and became confident about it but regrettably I'm still struggling. Like Jenny Eclair (whose 'Older and Wider' podcast I recommend), who thinks that if she went on a motorway she'd be dead within thirty miles, I find the whole business of driving at motorway speed hair-raising. I find going over bridges and on multi-lane motorways particularly challenging - sometimes I think I'm going to faint.

JuliaM Tue 26-May-20 21:20:46

I have driven for most of my working life, and even as a child I learned the basics of car handling whilst on Private land, and with my Dad by my side. DH often used to drive long distances for work, so it was me who always drove in our Leisure time, and often whilst towing a Caravan as well, which never really bothered me too much.
I can still drive today, but prefare my Automatic car to DH Manual transmission, as I fined clutch rather heavy and tiresome at times. Our Annual mileage is a fraction of what it used to be, and this Covid19 situation has made us rather lazy at having most things delivered to the door rather than going out shopping for ourselves, plus all our rides out into the nice old places we once enjoyed visiting, including trips to the coast, have also now come to an end.

Evie64 Tue 26-May-20 21:13:56

I'm happy to drive, as long as DH is not in the car with me. He really is the world's worst passenger and criticises absolutely every manoeuvre. Can't bear it and drive with my daughters or friends in the car with no problem. Don't like motorways, but that's because I don't like the speeding at 90mph that everyone seems to do.

GrandmaMoira Tue 26-May-20 20:54:42

I do regret not persevering with driving lessons and passing my test. I lost my nerve and didn't restart. My son says I could do it now but I think being in my 60s with early cataracts means it's unrealistic.
With the current situation, when things open up again I won't be able to go anywhere if we are still advised not to use public transport.

Deedaa Tue 26-May-20 20:46:13

I'm 74 and have driven for 40 years. I learnt when we moved to Cornwall and there was 1 bus a week and no one to take the children to school. If I'm driving on motorways I prefer them to be ones I know. I make a point of continuing to use roads that have awkward junctions because I feel that if I start saying "I won't go that way because I don't like that right turn" it will be the thin end of the wedge and I shall end up frightened to use the car at all.

Cabbie21 Tue 26-May-20 20:16:12

I think that learning to drive is possibly the most useful skill I have ever learned. Without it I would have seen very little of my family over the years, as, until recently, we have not lived near them. I would also have struggled to get to my choirs or to do things independently. I do enjoy ( or did) using public transport where that is possible eg for a journey to a distant city And I use the bus to avoid trying to park, and to be better for the environment. Nowadays I am not keen on driving at night, and only follow familiar routes at night.
My husband insists on driving when we go out together but nowadays I am uncomfortable with the speed he goes, and how late he brakes. He hates it if I comment, but I don’t understand why he enjoys making me feel anxious.

MaizieD Tue 26-May-20 20:09:50

Right on the verge of 70. I've been driving for 40 years.

Have driven all sorts of cars, towed a horse trailer, then went up to a 7.5 ton horsebox. I enjoy the independence and being able to go wherever I want to go. Mr Maizie and I share the driving on long journeys, it's not a problem (though he's not very good about observing speed limits in local villages sad )

I wasn't at all confident when I first passed my test but had to drive and I was fine once I got used to it.

I must confess I really dislike driving in unfamiliar cities; I like to know which road to take and which lane to be in. Satnav has been a big help with that.

I think I've got a bit slower in recent years.

Guineagirl Tue 26-May-20 19:52:35

I love driving very much and always have, I passed when I was 18 my Mam pushed me to learn as she could never drive, I’m glad she did.

rafichagran Tue 26-May-20 19:46:29

Yes I can drive, I use the car for work, shopping and any hospital visits.

kittylester Tue 26-May-20 19:37:58

All our children drive - i think its a necessary skill!