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I am angry with God

(31 Posts)
FarawayGran Wed 03-Jun-20 13:02:25

Since my DGD was born I have prayed for her, and other family members and friends.
I am not particularly religious, but I do thank Him for my blessings, and try to live a god life.
Every night I said 'Please keep her safe from all harm'
and I am devastated to find that she has been raped by the boy next door. SHE IS SEVEN YEARS OLD! He is 10 and too young to be prosecuted
My son and his family have very little money, they can't bear to be in their own home. Their life has been destroyed.
What is the point of prayer if god allows this to happen? when I have begged him to keep her safe?
I can't understand it. I am an angry lost soul.

nanasam Wed 03-Jun-20 13:12:05

I can't imagine the pain you're going through. I'm so very sorry your little GD had to go through this, poor lamb.

I'm afraid I often wonder if there is a God when things like this happen. How could HE allow it to happen. I won't be going to church.

Meanwhile, you all, as a family, will have to be strong for each other. Love will see you through. flowers

dragonfly46 Wed 03-Jun-20 13:14:15

Faraway that is dreadful. Surely the boy will not get away with it completely.

God does not prevent bad things happening, he maybe gives us the strength to deal with things. Bad things are part of life but nevertheless that is a horrid thing to happen and I feel your pain.

mrsgreenfingers56 Wed 03-Jun-20 13:14:54

Oh dear I am so sorry to read this Faraway Gran, please accept my sympathy for your DGD, the poor little girl. Have the police been involved? It is unbelievable this has happened from a boy of 10, what on earth is his home life like that he has acted in such a manner. Your son and DIL must be totally and utterly devastated. Has your DGD been offered any counselling/medical help? I would urge your family to seek help from professionals.
I fully understand why you ask what is the point of prayer, I have wondered this myself when thousands and thousands of people have lost their lives to Covid 19.
Words cannot express the sorrow I feel for your family. (Flowers)

25Avalon Wed 03-Jun-20 13:17:12

There are many things we do not understand FarawayGran. When my son was diagnosed with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy I told God I hated him and swore at him. In doing so however I had to acknowledge that I had not stopped believing there was a God. What has happened to your DGD is absolutely horrific but bad things happen all the time and sometimes prayers are sadly not answered. I think maybe praying to God can help give us strength to deal with things but does not stop them happening. You need to be strong for all your family. I will be thinking of you.

ExD Wed 03-Jun-20 13:24:38

I hope she is getting the right kind of help.
I sometimes think the wrong sort of counselling can result in a child dwelling on bad things instead of coping with them. I look at Prince Harry forever reminding us of how he lost his Mum and it breaks my heart, but I can't help feeling he was not helped to deal with it and accept it.
So I hope your GD has kind and thoughtful assistance to get over it and not let it spoil her life.
As for God - I lost faith years ago, he doesn't keep his promises.

Smileless2012 Wed 03-Jun-20 13:33:04

I just don't know what to say FarawayGranshock this is a truly awful thing to have happened to that poor child.

Keeping you all in my thoughtsflowers

starbird Wed 03-Jun-20 14:15:58

Boys of 10 can vary so much - some are nearly mature others still very much little boys. I wonder if he is also a victim, has he been watching porn, etc Even if he cannot be charged the parents should be investigated to check if they exercise proper control over him.

It is a horrendous thought that your GC will have to continue living next door to this boy. Has your son tried the CAB to see if there is any chance of victim compensation? If they rent the council or a housing association might help them move. I do hope they find a way to get away from the area. My thoughts are with that poor girl.

sodapop Wed 03-Jun-20 16:06:40

So sorry FarawayGran what a terrible thing to happen to your granddaughter. I can understand you questioning your faith at this time. I hope you and your family can find some peace and your granddaughter gets the help she needs.
Don't give up with your prayers 25Avalon is right.

Nonogran Wed 03-Jun-20 16:28:18

Hello Farawaygran, if it helps to know, a small girl in my extended family similarly suffered at the hands of a ten year old boy in their close neighbourhood. This was abroad (English speaking country) where the family live. Please seek counselling for all of you but likewise try not to dwell. Surprisingly, our little one has "recovered" well, as has her slightly older brother who was also caught up in the abuse. Children are very resilient although this does not diminish the early trauma & ongoing fury, anxiety & horror of the parents. Fortunately, the perpetrator & his family moved away from the locality. You and your family are not alone & I hope it helps to know it has & does happen, from time to time, these days. It's horrific. Keep praying for all your loved ones. He will know your pain & worry and will salve your burden of pain. It might take time but have faith. He IS listening. He walks beside you every day. God bless you all.

crazyH Wed 03-Jun-20 17:24:49

Oh dear Farawaygran ...what an awful thing to happen to your DGD...... at times like these, we question the existence. Recently, I have had reason to be angry with God, but that only lasted for a short time. I am turning my anger to trust. I am trusting Him and hoping HE will help me .
Hope your little GD is getting the help she needs. flowers

Toadinthehole Wed 03-Jun-20 17:29:47

I’m so sorry for your GD, and will pray for you. The Bible says bad things will always happen in this life, it is only the next they’ll be perfect. It doesn’t mean He revels in it, He’s sad too, but He wants us to know Him and choose to be with Him. If he’d made everything perfect now, we’d be like little robots, following Him, but not knowing why. He wants people to think for themselves and be independent. We can choose to be with Him or not. I hope this has helped.

CherryCezzy Wed 03-Jun-20 17:56:56

I haven't read other people's responses but 10 is the age of criminal responsibility so if he was 10 when he did this deplorable crime then he can be charged.

vampirequeen Wed 03-Jun-20 18:56:11

If God exists then he isn't the all forgiving, all loving being that some people would have you believe. He's narcissistic and totally oblivious to or uncaring about the sufferings of the creatures he is supposed to have created.

Sparklefizz Wed 03-Jun-20 19:02:15

I am dreadfully sorry to read your post FarawayGran and my heart goes out to you and to your DGD and family.

There is nothing I can say to help, but I didn't want to scroll on by. flowers for you and flowers for your family.

Sawsage2 Wed 03-Jun-20 19:16:25

The same thing happened to me age 9 by a boy of 13. Nothing much was done but I've never forgotten it though it was 60 years ago. You just av to learn to live with it and put it to the back of your mind. I have a very worrying problem at the moment and I pray to God to help me through it (& He does)

FlyingHandbag Thu 04-Jun-20 17:15:02

Oh my! That is disgraceful... is there nothing that could be done? I thought the age of criminal responsibility was 10. flowers for you all and a very large wine for you. Xx

OceanMama Thu 04-Jun-20 23:55:55

I'm sorry your family is going through this. I don't bother with god since my similar prayers were answered with god allowing her to suffer and die horribly. I'm sorry for your pain and hope you will all be able to lean on each other as you work through this together.

FarawayGran Fri 05-Jun-20 01:01:26

Thank you all for your kind words and support.You have all given me wise and heartfelt answers
My GD is seeing a therapist, the Social Services are very good and she has very kind police support.
The boy denies it. Social services went into the house of the perpetrator and said there are clear signs of neglect.(so as well as being a perpetrator, he is also a victim.)
As long as he keeps denying it, there is nothing that can be done. But I have lost my faith. I am sorry about this. I am so sorry to hear that several of you have problems too and I hope they are resolved.
Perhaps, in time I can accept that there is a God who moves in mysterious ways. Strangely, I still believe in him, but can't pray.
Thank you all, so very much.

GrauntyHelen Sun 07-Jun-20 01:55:32

I'm very sorry that your DGC has had this experience but your understanding of prayer seems naive

Hithere Sun 07-Jun-20 02:14:42

I am horrified and so sorry for what your family is going though.
Sexual crimes are very "he said she said" and even if there is clear proof, it is sadly a man's world.

I am sadly not surprised neglect was discovered in the agressor's home.

ladymuck Sun 07-Jun-20 07:45:30

Your anger is directed at the wrong person. Your granddaughter's safety is the responsibility of her parents. The children must have been alone together for such a thing to happen. A little girl of seven should be under an adults supervision all the time.

sodapop Sun 07-Jun-20 08:27:06

That's a bit harsh Ladymuck we are not aware of the circumstances surrounding this incident.
Farawaygran is distressed enough without this sort of comment,

B9exchange Sun 07-Jun-20 09:01:22

I am desperately sorry for your anguish and you are doing the sensible thing at raging at God, that is completely understandable. But a recent sermon we had explained that God doesn't cause our sufferings, they are part of the imperfect world we live in, where good and evil are in constant conflict. But he does suffer with us, and wants us to take all our troubles to him.

There is an amazing painting in Colmar in Alsace, painted at a time of a plague of ergotism, and intended to give comfort to those suffering from the disease.

If you are able to expand it large enough, you will see that Christ is himself suffering from the disease with the residents of the hospital, with the swollen gangrenous blisters all over his body.

So please rage at him, tell him how upset you are, just don't stop talking to him, and he will help you through it. My prayers, feeble though they are, will be with you. flowers flowers flowers

Eloethan Sun 07-Jun-20 14:27:34

Farawaygran I am so sorry to hear of the anguish you are experiencing at this time.

I wonder if this site is the most appropriate place to express your overwhelming feelings of anger and grief. It is a site open to anybody and what you describe is a very sensitive and personal incident involving two children. You, quite naturally, need support during this terrible time and I wonder if there are any professional counsellors or support groups who can offer a listening ear.

I am not a religious person but I appreciate that it must be very difficult to maintain faith when awful things happen.
Sadly, though, terrible things happen in the world and there are many damaged people who go on to damage others. I hope at some point your faith can be restored and help you to get through this awful time.