Upsetting friends

A good friend suggested our usual group meet up in her garden. The weather was lovely and she has loads of room for social distancing. In the end we decided against it. I have had my daughter visit in the garden and it was lovely. I think we all have to do our own risk assessments. Is it following guidelines,how vulnerable are we,how are we getting there.etc. For the moment I prefer to keep it to one or two people. Fine at moment but do wonder how we will all cope in late Autumn /Winter ☹

I had a lovely zoom chat with friends from work and Ex-work last night. I am the oldest by ten years but some of them in their 40s are immune compromised for various reasons. We would not dream of meeting up right now but the zoom chat was good fun and it was lovely to see them. You are in the right here and your friend should have more respect for your wishes.

We’re doing virtual meet-ups. You’re absolutely right not to want to physically meet at the moment. My children, grandchildren and other halves meet up on WhatsApp, it’s free so my son in NZ can join in too. It’s not the same but wat is on the current situation?

We are a longstanding group of 5, including myself and one I've known since the 70's, the others since the 80's.
We've all been on the phone to each other but wouldn't dream of having our usual meet-ups. Consideration is an important factor when a person is vulnerable.

One is on immuno-suppressants and another has a pace-maker. Yes, we've all expressed our desire to see each other but no way would any of us force the issue.
If you value your friends stay at home and if anyone is pressured into meeting and disobeying rules, then they're not the genuine and true friends you thought they were.

The guidelines are there for a reason, they are there to keep you safe, Alijane. Stick to your guns.

People who disregard the guidance or encourage others to disregard it, make me really angry. I have a neighbour like that. They put themselves at risk and all those they meet, including medical staff who have to treat them if they become ill.

They are the reason that we have such a high death rate here.

Selfish, self centred people! ?

Do the sensible thing. You know what it is
Government guidelines are irrelevant in this situation

No Ladymuck it is not fair to add to the pressure OP is feeling. In this case the sensible thing is to stick to the guidelines.
Why oh why do some people think things do not apply to them ? But are the first to criticise the crowds at Lulworth Cove, the young people in the park, the joggers and cyclists who they feel come too near to them or to be surprised that people we know are succumbing to this virus?

Stick to your guns Alijane and do only what you feel comfortable with. Friends should understand and respect your feelings even if they don't agree.

Everyone has to act as they feel comfortable with. I am Cautious but not overly so. Friends who I meet up with , I always ask are you happy to do this. If not we’ll find another way . FaceTime or message. Don’t pressurise people into doing things they aren’t sure about

Meet in his garden when the weather improves. Where's the problem?

Why are they irrelevant in this situation ladymuck?

I assume from the post he’s wanting to have a meet up in his home as normal, which is not supposed to be happening under lockdown.

A small gathering of up to six in the garden is acceptable, with social distancing.

Do the sensible thing. You know what it is!
Government guidelines are irrelevant in this situation.

I agree with your post welbeck

I belong to a small group who volunteer in primary school. We haven’t been able to meet since before lockdown. A Zoom meeting was set up for last week, I wasn’t keen and didn’t join in.

This maybe makes me odd, but although I get on well with the others, I am not missing meeting up and really don’t know what we would chat about on screen, as none of us are doing much to interest each other at the moment.

Do what you are comfortable with alijane you should not be made to feel uncomfortable with ‘friends’ I d wrote a brief note ‘what a shame we won’t be able to make it this time, this virus is disrupting so much, hopefully by next time the government will have relaxed the lockdown a bit more Looking forward to seeing you all another time’
Something like that is brief but friendly if he takes objection to that then he’s not a real friend

www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-outbreak-faqs-what-you-can-and-cant-do/coronavirus-outbreak-faqs-what-you-can-and-cant-do

Typed out a detailed post, it disappeared then I couldn’t remember where the question came from. Everyone’s circumstances are different but you shouldn’t be pushed into anything you aren’t comfortable with. Perhaps your friend is getting a bit stir crazy? Would he settle for a zoom meeting - they get easier after the first few “visits”.

i thought we were only allowed to meet people from one other household, and that outdoors or in the garden, keeping 6 foot apart.
just email host that you are following govt guidelines.
the less said the better. so you are not seen to be criticising the others in the group, or host, but simply stating your position.
don't dilute it with explanations/ excuses.
if he doesn't like it, that's his problem.
you have done nothing wrong. don't feel you have to apologise. don't be manipulated into people's dramas.

You feel you are in the wrong because your friend is behaving as if you are.
A real friend wouldn't be asking you to do this or, at least, would accept your reason for refusing.

I thought that in England, up to six people can now meet, from any number of households, but must be outside and 2m apart.

I agree with Oopsminty - you are not in the wrong. He is, by insisting that you meet up. It would be a shame to put yourself in any danger (however small) because of peer pressure (which doesn't only affect the teenagers, it would appear).

Stay strong, and if your friends are upset that easily - are you sure they are friends?

You're not in the wrong

As it stands now, I think only 2 households can meet up, preferably in the garden.

So just point out that you'll be able to meet up again soon, but not yet