Daughters husband left her for an ex girlfriend contacted him on the Internet

A year ago we had lovely new neighbours. a man you had left his wife for a new partner. Six months later they broke up she returned to her mother and now he is helping x wife deal with cancer!! she is not taking him back though. Meanwhile he has to sell the house in a depressed market. Really nice people all round but what a sad thing to do.

Twig, I’m sorry to hear this has happened to your daughter and like a previous poster I’d also say it’s a common occurrence in a place like Dubai. No one knows what will happen between your girl and her husband further down the line but please make sure Any legal advice she has is from a lawyer who specializes in international divorce. And there are actually people in Dubai who specialize in this.

Sharon 103 you have written on totally the wrong thread!! Should be on the thread about periods!

Were they truly happy in the marriage? Could there have been a reason for him accepting the old flames attempt at contacting him? Just saying, there's two sides to every story, remember!!!

Make sure she is protected financially. Don't let him con her out of a settlement. He owes her big time. Let him pay for his romance.

@Tempest, second chump lady, also seek out her blog and forums. I discovered after mine left me that he'd been having affairs for years mainly emotional ones and the one he went off with was the first who encouraged him

I remember using the 'Hammocks' as we used to call them.
My mum never told me anything. To be honest I wondered what was happening to me.
I had to laugh at your comment EllanVannin, my mum was like Cissie and Ada.

My nephew left his wife as part of a mid life crisis and went off with his wife’s friend. The children went off the rails a bit and his new wife became ill. Overall he doesn’t seem much happier than he was before

This happened to me 20 years ago. It's so sad because we all know that a relationship starting in such a horrible way isn't likely to be successful. There was nothing that I could do about it though. My ex and I are both single now. We don't speak and he rarely sees his children. It's very very sad all round. Sadly I have nothing constructive to offer except I so repect my friends who reconciled with their men. I just couldn't do it.

Sorry Twig14 for late responce

If this person Sil met when he was in his teens, no disrespect to Sil, believes at 40 H will be the same person she /this other woman knew when he was in his teens then she is in for a big. big big disappointment.
People and life inevitably change, no disrespect to DD or her H, with the years and how many of us haven't looked back, big sigh I wish I was etc etc
SIL is flattered by this woman getting in touch and if he is prepared to give up on his marriage after so many years then DD has to ask herself,' would she take him back should H return, tail between his legs, were this 'meet up' not be quite what both he and /or his 'teen romance' expected.

May I just say a great big thank you to you all for your kindness, support and helpful advice. I was actually devastated when I found out about this situation and didn’t wish to talk to people I know in order to respect my daughters wishes. I turned to Gransnet and I am glad I did. Thank you all once again. Take care all of you x

I think a lot of us have family problems. I'm going through hell at the moment with my 16 year old granddaughter. All we can do is be there for them (because this is earth not heaven).

As others have said, support your daughter but stay neutral. It's early days and they may decide to continue their marriage. If they do, it may well end up being stronger for it as they will have to talk to each other and rebuild. The pain is unbelievable but it does ease. People do daft things. Make sure you have someone to talk to as well

I agree with paddyann and others that it may not last, obviously the relationship failed in the past and may fail again for the same reasons.

There is a wonderful short paperback book by Tracy Schorn Leave a Cheatre, Gain a Life. Also a website she runs with people all over the world telling their stories of infidelity and supporting each other call Chump Lady www.chumplady.com/
Do have a look you will see that these people are the same all over the world. The old girlfriend wants someone else's husband, he is cheater and a liar, let her have him. Relationships that start with affairs and the breakup of families will eventually implode but don't wait for that. My advice to your daughter should be to see a lawyer asap get the best financial settlement for her as quickly as possible while he is still in the infatuation stage with the other woman.
Once she is financially secure away from him she can go have a wonderful life without this cheatre holding her back.
If she is still hoping he will come back that's fine as long as she gets her financial settlement first in her own name.

My story is just like Toddy’s
Our SiL was a nice man, a wonderful father but left for a woman from his office after 23 years of marriage.
The GC were devastated but they still visit him every year, he now lives abroad, and they meet up when he comes back on business.
All this is nearly 6 years ago and they still aren’t divorced, it is a mystery to me.
The other woman is totally accepted by his family as his partner.

What a difficult time for you. You have two very sad situations to deal with. I was devastated when my child’s married ended. I felt so impotent and could only listen and support in the best way I could.
My heart goes out to you.

Our SIL was like a son too and after he cheated on our daughter we floundered our way through supporting her and not judging. They got back together but he was secretly still seeing other woman! I couldn't believe this man who had been part of our family for 17 yrs could lie and cheat in this way! Fast forward 18mths and daughter and children all happy. She is making a new life, ex shares childcare and is now living with other woman. No advise from me except time helps, counselling definitely does too. Best of luck and hugs.

Truly heartbreaking for all of you, and as others say, words are inadequate and all you can do is be supportive. I went thro this with son No:2 and altho it was terribly difficult at times, we all got thro it. Tomorrow my sons ex is coming over to see me with my 2 granddaughters, plus her new little boy from her now marriage .... he also calls me Nanny, altho he is not mine. My son has also moved on and married a wonderful lady who is so much more suited to him. Stay strong, us girls are tough cookies !

You cannot @ctuallt DO any5hing but be there and support her as a listening ear, shoulder to cry on. It all seems horrible at the moment, and it is, so take it a day at a time. Being apart probably hasn’t helped and the grass always seems to be greener on the other side. Wait and se3.
Your daughter will survive . Mine has after her partner of 13 years dumped her fir a younger model. As parents we can only support , nit interfere. U& needed, encourage your daughter to get counselling. It dies help to have an outsider listen and advise. You are too close plus probably angry.
Good luck to you all

So sorry for you and DD. These things happen - the grass is greener and men are gullible. People change and they are not teenagers any more. There is not a lot you or DD can do. Be there for her. Look for the positives and plan for her independent future gradually. Try not to talk about this all the time. Be positive. Encourage DD to look up old friends and any family she is close to - easier when lockdown improves. Go shopping if you can - she is still relatively young. Get her motivated to make a life and how her that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Good wishes to you both.

I feel so sad for your DD at this very difficult time for you both.
Sorry, but the relationship between DD and her OH really couldn't have been as good as she believed, as is often the case and I would guess that this other woman has been someone that SiL has always carried a torch for, believing that there was unfinished business between the two of them (haven't we all felt that at some point with a teen romance?)
You can only be a support for her at this time. As others have said, don't bad mouth the SiL, just let her rant and rave against him if she needs to but whatever you do DON'T say that you are not taking sides as she will automatically feel that you are!
I just hope he sees the error of his ways , comes back (if she still wants him to) and they can start afresh.

If your DD can just wait it out with your loving support her husband will probably rapidly realise his huge mistake and be keen to repair the marriage. This ex girlfriend can't be a nice person to deliberately try and break up a marriage. I am sorry you have lost your DF to coronavirus. Your DD is fortunate to have you both. Dont say anything negative about your SIL even if you feel like killing him! I sincerely hope things improve for you all.

I agree with Jayanregister, DON'T say anything against him. If they do get back together it won't be forgotten.

It happened to my DSL, we were very careful not to voice anything we thought (and we did). They got back together and 40 years later they're happy.