Done it all, got it all, know it all neighbour

I visit another forum that has a few contributors like this. One claims to have mastered every profession and sport ever mentioned as well as being a gourmet vegan cook and never fails to mention it whether appropriate or not.

On a forum, easy to ignore. Real time neighbor, not so much.

I think Hyacinth Bucket has left this site now.

About 18 months ago, I took ill, couldn't even keep water down, didn't know what it was just thought I'd picked up a bug from somewhere. after being like this for 2 days I had to phone docs to try and get an appointment, they asked me could I go that afternoon. My husband phoned a taxi to take us, I "on very wobbly legs" had a carrier bag lined with kitchen roll in case I felt ill in the taxi, as we were waiting outside,( I needed some air!) my NEXT DOOR neighbour of almost 30 years passed, I just said "don't get too near " meaning I didn't want to pass anything on.....her reply was a very sour sounding " that's not being ill, try it at 4 months pregnant, like our J (daughter)is and off she trotted on her merry way !!! It was the first I knew of her daughter being pregnant, until the baby was born and then she was falling over backwards to talk to me....... She never did knock and ask how I'd gone on at the docs, but that would be about me wouldn't it not HER!! There will always be someone who thinks they are bigger, better, mightier than you....but once you get to know who they are steer clear is my advice.

It's those who only watch documentaries as they are too intelligent for any of the other rubbish, plays, films etc.

That type of neighbour sounds familiar, We have some very nice ones here but also some of the other type, so tend to just pass time of day.

oh yes i certainly have .next block of flats .reckons she has all the health problems i have. my brother doesnt know what he's talking about (virus) he worked in a labratory.. so he does know. oh and she knows all about what i should put on my potatoe plants etc. (epsom salts bigger and better ) told her i dont use any chemicals etc .just normal plant food...she never done gardening before but suddenly she knows everything .really got me annoyed last week...grrrrrrr....

I'm 82 and have had a marvellous life; married 3 times and lived in different countries all over the world. When conversation is flagging I often tell amusing anecdotes, with exagerations if neccessary. I hope these little stories entertain my friends and make them laugh. I deeply hope I am not one of the above bores.

I have a neighbour like that. We laugh about her. Her Father is a millionaire has the biggest beautiful conservatory, large villa in Spain. Her mother has so much jewellery all diamonds of course. Her house has 5 large bedrooms (one is an ironing room which is 3 x 6 ft). Then we have her children who are all running their own businesses and her partner is the head of his firm. None of this is true. So I just listen and think she must be so unhappy to have to make up such tales.

My neighbour has had so many careers that she has reached the top position in must be a multi millionaire so why she works in a call center on minimum wage is a mystery.

There is someone on here that I think may be her.

Really liked 2 Doors Down, hope there is another series.

People like this are usually very insecure. We have a friend who we're fond of but he will insist on telling us the price of everything. As he's quite well off this gets rather irritating. I'm not envious, find it quite amusing!

Yes we had a work colleague who, after she left, sent us all a Round Robin with a Christmas card, even those of us who had never had much interaction with her. Every year it was all about how wonderful her new job was, how much more prestigious her new college was compared to ours, her two daughters’ amazing jobs, how much her property in Devon had gone up in value since they moved there, on and on ad nauseam. Lucca, I love the ‘Elevenerife’ comment, I must remember that one.

Did your husband get the term ‘Winnie Vinegar-Bottle from the series Dr Snuggles?

Oh come on Mimi!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Intrigued by all your stories, and wonder what each of these people that you talk fairly unkindly about would have to say about each of you.

The world is crying out for kindness right now, and that is something that we can all shine at.

I don’t know how to do a link, but watch Pam Ayers on YouTube reciting “They should have asked my husband.”

So funny, and just sums up what everyone has been talking about

Years ago we had a decorator like that. You couldn't speak to him at all about paint unless it was cream or white. So, he must have suffered with our colour schemes but did a superb job. Forever after we referred to him as Mr Magnolia !

My favourite crazy one-upmanship occurred at a gathering in a good friend's house. Her brother was making one of his rare visits - a man with a slightly Walter Mitty persona - at the same time as their lifetime friend. They all 3 went to school together. In the middle of a conversation about past experiences with loads of people he had never met before, her brother started telling a story about problems when he joined the French Foreign Legion. My girlfriend's face was an absolute study !! He'd never been abroad and at that point his Sister and their old friend totally lost control and had to quickly leave the room. Sometimes you just have to say almost nothing and walk away. With the one-uppers, don't play. It beats getting annoyed and can give you such a laugh about it afterwards !

I know someone who only shops at Waitrose, my dear, only John Lewis who are wonderful, clothes from very upmarket companies, only reads the classics, watches the latest theatre screenings, drops into the conversation often the families holiday homes, how well they are doing and of course how exemplary are the grandchildren, and corrected my pronunciation, I avoid her like the plague, I think actually she is probably rather lonely.

One of my uncles used to be like that, he had a second home - a 'large estate' in Spain. He never flew with commercial airlines, he always booked private flights direct from the local private airfield.

One day we were going to Spain on holiday and lo and behold there he was in the queue for an Easyjet flight. I never greeted him as I was so sure I must have been mistaken but I saw his name on the PC screen on the departure desk.

A short while later at a family gathering he was bragging about having just returned from his second home by private flight. When I asked him why I had seen him in the queue at easyjet he just blustered that his private flight had been cancelled so he had to take desperate measures to get back for urgent business reasons!

We have a decorator who comes to the house who is exactly like this unfortunately we have to put up with it as he also does a fantastic job. Sighs of relief all round once job is finished.

Ha ha, there a lot of Grans with the worst neighbours ever, even worse than the other Grans...

aaronanna1947 I'm sorry to hear about your son's problem.

You will be more likely to get answers if you start a thread of your own about it, though.

H1954. Oh yes! I believe they are liberally sprinkled around every residential area, each group where people gather, workplace, school etc. Maybe they are good for our character? I have become better at tolerating it, simply by not talking and leaving as soon as I can!

Sadly I grew up with an older half sister who not only belittled everything I did, but told monstrous lies about everything, enhancing herself along the way. She was my mother's golden girl so I learned young to be quiet and keep myself to myself. I threw myself into school which fortunately turned out well.

There are theories that these people are actually lacking in confidence so have to boast. This has not been proven. If anything the small amount of research suggests they actually do think they are better than all of us!

My advice is, if you can, avoid them, if you can't avoid them say very little, don't let it bother you and don't stay long! Never compete, it simply makes things much worse!

Now i come to think of it my S-in-L is a bit like that...