Done it all, got it all, know it all neighbour

One of my uncles used to be like that, he had a second home - a 'large estate' in Spain. He never flew with commercial airlines, he always booked private flights direct from the local private airfield.

One day we were going to Spain on holiday and lo and behold there he was in the queue for an Easyjet flight. I never greeted him as I was so sure I must have been mistaken but I saw his name on the PC screen on the departure desk.

A short while later at a family gathering he was bragging about having just returned from his second home by private flight. When I asked him why I had seen him in the queue at easyjet he just blustered that his private flight had been cancelled so he had to take desperate measures to get back for urgent business reasons!

I know someone who only shops at Waitrose, my dear, only John Lewis who are wonderful, clothes from very upmarket companies, only reads the classics, watches the latest theatre screenings, drops into the conversation often the families holiday homes, how well they are doing and of course how exemplary are the grandchildren, and corrected my pronunciation, I avoid her like the plague, I think actually she is probably rather lonely.

Years ago we had a decorator like that. You couldn't speak to him at all about paint unless it was cream or white. So, he must have suffered with our colour schemes but did a superb job. Forever after we referred to him as Mr Magnolia !

My favourite crazy one-upmanship occurred at a gathering in a good friend's house. Her brother was making one of his rare visits - a man with a slightly Walter Mitty persona - at the same time as their lifetime friend. They all 3 went to school together. In the middle of a conversation about past experiences with loads of people he had never met before, her brother started telling a story about problems when he joined the French Foreign Legion. My girlfriend's face was an absolute study !! He'd never been abroad and at that point his Sister and their old friend totally lost control and had to quickly leave the room. Sometimes you just have to say almost nothing and walk away. With the one-uppers, don't play. It beats getting annoyed and can give you such a laugh about it afterwards !

I don’t know how to do a link, but watch Pam Ayers on YouTube reciting “They should have asked my husband.”

So funny, and just sums up what everyone has been talking about

Intrigued by all your stories, and wonder what each of these people that you talk fairly unkindly about would have to say about each of you.

The world is crying out for kindness right now, and that is something that we can all shine at.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oh come on Mimi!

Did your husband get the term ‘Winnie Vinegar-Bottle from the series Dr Snuggles?

Yes we had a work colleague who, after she left, sent us all a Round Robin with a Christmas card, even those of us who had never had much interaction with her. Every year it was all about how wonderful her new job was, how much more prestigious her new college was compared to ours, her two daughters’ amazing jobs, how much her property in Devon had gone up in value since they moved there, on and on ad nauseam. Lucca, I love the ‘Elevenerife’ comment, I must remember that one.

People like this are usually very insecure. We have a friend who we're fond of but he will insist on telling us the price of everything. As he's quite well off this gets rather irritating. I'm not envious, find it quite amusing!

My neighbour has had so many careers that she has reached the top position in must be a multi millionaire so why she works in a call center on minimum wage is a mystery.

There is someone on here that I think may be her.

Really liked 2 Doors Down, hope there is another series.

I have a neighbour like that. We laugh about her. Her Father is a millionaire has the biggest beautiful conservatory, large villa in Spain. Her mother has so much jewellery all diamonds of course. Her house has 5 large bedrooms (one is an ironing room which is 3 x 6 ft). Then we have her children who are all running their own businesses and her partner is the head of his firm. None of this is true. So I just listen and think she must be so unhappy to have to make up such tales.

I'm 82 and have had a marvellous life; married 3 times and lived in different countries all over the world. When conversation is flagging I often tell amusing anecdotes, with exagerations if neccessary. I hope these little stories entertain my friends and make them laugh. I deeply hope I am not one of the above bores.

oh yes i certainly have .next block of flats .reckons she has all the health problems i have. my brother doesnt know what he's talking about (virus) he worked in a labratory.. so he does know. oh and she knows all about what i should put on my potatoe plants etc. (epsom salts bigger and better ) told her i dont use any chemicals etc .just normal plant food...she never done gardening before but suddenly she knows everything .really got me annoyed last week...grrrrrrr....

That type of neighbour sounds familiar, We have some very nice ones here but also some of the other type, so tend to just pass time of day.

It's those who only watch documentaries as they are too intelligent for any of the other rubbish, plays, films etc.

About 18 months ago, I took ill, couldn't even keep water down, didn't know what it was just thought I'd picked up a bug from somewhere. after being like this for 2 days I had to phone docs to try and get an appointment, they asked me could I go that afternoon. My husband phoned a taxi to take us, I "on very wobbly legs" had a carrier bag lined with kitchen roll in case I felt ill in the taxi, as we were waiting outside,( I needed some air!) my NEXT DOOR neighbour of almost 30 years passed, I just said "don't get too near " meaning I didn't want to pass anything on.....her reply was a very sour sounding " that's not being ill, try it at 4 months pregnant, like our J (daughter)is and off she trotted on her merry way !!! It was the first I knew of her daughter being pregnant, until the baby was born and then she was falling over backwards to talk to me....... She never did knock and ask how I'd gone on at the docs, but that would be about me wouldn't it not HER!! There will always be someone who thinks they are bigger, better, mightier than you....but once you get to know who they are steer clear is my advice.

I think Hyacinth Bucket has left this site now.

I visit another forum that has a few contributors like this. One claims to have mastered every profession and sport ever mentioned as well as being a gourmet vegan cook and never fails to mention it whether appropriate or not.

On a forum, easy to ignore. Real time neighbor, not so much.

Got one does my head in needs to know why my son has returned home and why is he walking at 7 in the morning! ( has returned to save for a house) now working from home. Why I changed from a vow to a mini as I was always a vw girl! How many hours my husband works and how he had changed recently his working or non working hours has loads of money bragging but has asked us to replace ace some of HIS fence,! I’m furloughed and can’t wait to get back!

aaronanna1947 I think you posted on the wrong thread!

( Did nobody else notice?)

Yes Daddima

Far North suggested she start a new thread, might get more replies.

There are people who have no idea that a conversation is when you exchange information with another person. It is not when the only voice you heard , is your own.
I have a friend who rings up and I put the phone down and do jobs, While she burbles on. She doesn’t notice that I haven’t spoken a word. I pick up the receiver and grunt now and again and then carry on ironing or whatever.
She can talk for a hour, about herself or lecture me about how she thinks I should think.
I need to put number recognition on my phone so that I can avoid her calls. She’s bored and lonely because no one likes people like her....and she has no idea. Everyone needs to listen, it’s a great friendly thing to do.

Yes, a friend of my husband, he lives in the best road in the area, well he doesn’t, because we do , ????
His son was the brainiest kid in the class, was excellent in all sports. He had a mundane job, but has the biggest pension ever, goes on the best holidays, all his sisters have top salary jobs. His oldest son wasn’t just in The army, he was SAS. The list is endless. We just think he’s a down right liar. No ones life is so perfect.
What’s wrong with people like this ???

I've got a friend who is like that. She reckons her husband is due to get an OBE any time soon for all he does for the community - he's a Sales Rep (nothing wrong with that) for an industrial pump company and he occasionally helps out with the under 10s rugby. She's a bit of a laughing stock with other people. I just smile and keep quiet.