I don't want to leave LO overnight yet

Lesim91 as I think you know in your heart of hearts, it is your MIL who is being unreasonable and not you. If she is on this site, maybe she will recognise herself and seing all the comments - rare for a thread to be unanimous - she will change her ways. Good luck.

You are absolutely right in not letting your son stay overnight. She is the one being unreasonable about not locking the dog up. With a dog like that I would never leave your son there actually.

Don't let her bully you - your son is the most important consideration and I would be loath to visit her at all because of the dog. Don't leave him on his own with her and the dog at anytime.

The dog is a dangerous decider.
Do not let any child anywhere near it.
Definately not unreasonable.

Your little boy doesn't know them yet so its a bit much to ask. I agree you should start slowly and just spend a few hours together. The dog would have to be removed from the situation. Try meeting them on neutral ground. She is being very selfish. We all adore our grandchildren but have to abide by what the parents want. They are not our children after all.
Good luck with this, i hope you manage to agree to an arrangement that suits you all. But at the end of the day your son must come first.

I confess I haven't trawled through all 8 pages, but am so pleased that EVERY comment I have read has stated that you are NOT being unreasonable.

Congratulations Lesim!

This must be the only thread ever on GN where all the posters are in agreement

However, I expect we are all out of step except your MIL.

When both you and your little one are ready is the right time, it may not be for years and that is fine

Your being sensible. I would be inclined to avoid this interference and pressure from your controlling in laws ..

No you are not being unreasonable. You are a mother now and your child depends on you to make the right decisions. Give in to MiL on this one and spend the rest of your life trying to please her. Stand your ground you know in your heart already

I don't think I have read a unanimous thread on GN before! Even without the dog, I don't think it is unreasonable for you to say that you don't want her to have your baby overnight. I know that grandparents sometimes take it personally because it seems like a lack of trust and they feel that they managed to bring their children up without mishap but that isn't the point. I'm afraid that if your MIL was trying to bully me, I would dig my heals in even more.

Hi, what would be the point of the child staying overnight anywhere if you two fret and worry? The dog issue alone is a non starter, I have an 18mth old grandson who I adore , he hasn’t slept at my house but has at his other granny’s because she lives closer plus has looked after him more during daytimes too. It’s not a competition or a challenge. It’s your baby, I will happily have my little grandson anytime but only when Mum and Dad are totally ok with it snd actually get the relaxing little break or night out because they’re confident baby will be happy. Surely that’s what it’s all about. One last thing , say NO forever if u are worried about the dog !!!!!!!!

Your child. Your choice! Dog or no dog!

even ignoring the dog - you should follow your instincts . your child could find waking up during the night in a strange house to be stressful . why would you want him to suffer distress just to please your MIL? if anybody is being unreasonable then it is the MIL

Hi, you are not being unreasonable, even putting his age and the fact he hasn’t seen his grandparents for such a long time THEIR DOG IS DANGEROUS AND WILL ATTACK YOUR SON GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY. Try not to worry, just say no explaining all your perfectly understandable reasons . If you wanted to meet them half way could you suggest they babysat at your house foR an evening? Good luck, this must very stressful for you

I would only do supervised visits to the mil and the untrained dog. When your child is old enough, I’m thinking maybe 16, and can fend them off. Then a sleepover. This is your child. Tell her to back off. And to get a dog trainer,

You must remember that you are the parents but at the same time showing some understanding about mil wanting to see grandchild. If you lose control now it is lost forever. Thinking of you. I know from experience how hard it is to be the fathers mother but I always go by what my daughter in law wants whether I like it or not. I remember what it was like to be the daughter in law.

Wow. Thank you so so much for taking the time to respond, I never imagined I'd get so much advice, let alone all unanimous! Thank you all for your reassurance x

Just because of the dog I would say no. I would be with my child all the time he was in that house.

Absolutely not being unreasonable. Do not let your precious chilfanywhere near that dog at any time. And he's far too young to be having sleepovers. Your morhering instincts are right and your husband agrees. A firm 'no' is what's needed. I hear of far too many children being maimed or killed by family dogs. Don't take the risk.

No you’re not been unreasonable. I’m just happy to be able to see my granddaughters again since the lockdown has been eased whether it’s with their parents or not. I did have the youngest one quite often before lockdown (as she’s only 18 months now). She had a number of sleepovers due to her parents work and the eldest one stayed at the other grandmas as it was nearer to her nursery. I never asked though it was instigated by parents. I’ve not had them for an overnight stay though since lockdown eased, but have them at least a couple of days a week while parents at work and very satisfied with that for now. I’ll wait to be asked by parents when they need me to have them overnight. I just spend every minute with them and make the most of the time I do have with them. I feel it’s very precious especially after not seeing them for so long.

I’d also certainly not let him stay where the dog is. I wouldn’t feel safe leaving him. They want to think themselves lucky you’ve offered to let them take him on an outing, I’d be more than happy with that.

i wouldn't trust her with your child. dog or no dog.
she sounds arrogant and self-centred. not likely to put the child's welfare first, but her own ego and convenience. avoid.

Be strong and tell her no!
There is no way I would send my child to stay with someone who has a dog that not only needs to be muzzled but actually went to attack my child for merely being in the same room as it. Not only now but while they still have the dog. It’ll be too late when your child’s face is ripped off purely for the sake of appeasing someone. You are definitely not being unreasonable. She is because she is expecting you to put your child at risk.

I can’t understand why anyone would want a young baby to stay with them overnight - Apart from at the request of the parent. So much anxiety and responsibility, getting up in the night or at the crack of dawn - no thanks. This woman wants to play at being mummy- she’s had her turn. Just say no. Plus I wouldn’t visit her house at all because of the dog.