The boaster needs to showcase her accomplishments. The sense of inferiority at the heart of constant recitation of her great lifestyle, or achievements, are attempts to convince themselves that they are somehow better than their peers.
It's a human trait, hand on heart, I'm as guilty as the next. You might see me post a photo, all smiles, what a jolly nice fellow, in the background could be a material possession that most cannot aspire to. Having said that, I do try not to behave in such manner, and the example was fictitious, but people do it.
What I have learned is that friendship is priceless, it's given freely, you cannot buy it, no matter what you own. My wife and I enjoy the friendship of a social circle that we so enjoy, some live in luxury, others live more humbly, we value them all, as they do us.
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Boasting
(123 Posts)A woman neighbour who rang me about a friendly but impersonal business matter described in detail a lovely holiday place she owns, although I had not asked her to tell me about it, and it had nothing to do with the business matter. I think this is bragging. Why would anyone brag to me? I don't brag about material possessions and I own very little, so why would she do this?
I am disappointed in her as I'd always thought she had really good manners.
My mother in law would say (in a dismissive upper class voice)
Very nice, if you like that sort of thing.
People seldom approached her twice ?
Callistemon, actually I said "it is so nice to be near the sea."
I was not bothered just a little bored .I agree 'boasting'is a superficial sort of topic to discuss.
Urmstongran, this particular bun fight is due to a neutral topic becoming a discussion of my personality. Okay, discussions evolve , and we might have private ideas about each others' personalities. Geekesse's comment was simply rude.
Sometimes people do actually do it to boast.
I have a friend who has very successful children, very high earners and children following in their footsteps.
She rings me with every detail and I listen politely or I would disgrace myself with what I said.
I should say I never ring her, she always rings me, I have stopped seeing her for sometime now, possibly two years, I always have an excuse ready.
We have a mutual friend, we have all known each for forty plus years.
Friend one never talks in the same way to friend two because they are very comfortably off, beautiful house,etc.
She only tries to impress me as she thinks I am so ordinary with an undistinguished family.
She boasts to me plainly to impress.
I just feel sad she needs to.
Alexa unfortunately we get some harsh replies on here.
It isn't jealousy that makes boasting unpleasant. It's boredom. Conversation is two way thing, not one person going on at length about something the second person has no interest in.
I always think it's quite sad and pathetic when people harp on about their possessions.
They obviously have very empty, boring lives and nothing interesting to talk about.
I do end up feeling sorry for them.
I am not sure when having pride in something became bragging - well not since Queen Victoria's time when it was considered to be "not nice".
Just let it go and then in 6 months ask if it is available to rent!
I don't think OP can be characterised. Apt choice of name there OP.
I have a friend who I've known for over 30 years like annsixty she always rings me and really all she does is brag about her beautiful home and holidays I just let her ramble on as I know she has a good heart i don't envy her for me her life is boring and I know she has very few friends and I truly believe she doesn't even think she is bragging she just has very little going on in her life
I don't begrudge anyone who's got more than me as I've got more than many other people. But boasting is boasting and it definitely sounds as if she was!
Maybe she just "had to tell someone (else)" because she worked her fingers to the bone to get the place... Maybe she was hoping hat if you usually go to a hotel (lots of people) you would want to rent her place (just you)? Maybe she wanted to show you that with her, it's not all work and no play? You could have asked her "Why are you telling me all this?" - I always do, if I think what people are telling me, is weird.
I don't think this is bragging. Maybe she was just talking about it because it is the summer and we can talk about our holiday plans etc in chit chat.
I personally love talking to people about holiday homes they own, or their lovely holidays, it doesn't make me jealous it just gives me joy that people are having fun, especially as with things as they are, jealousy only brings self harm, try to embrace others joy and warmth life is meant to be happy.
Almost anything can become contentious if people are particularly sensitive, if I talk about my car and someone will be upset because they don't have one, my flat and they'll be upset they don't live in such a good area, I might even talk about my children and someone will be upset as theirs don't visit - I mean, I'm making that up but if you aren't careful you can't have a conversation with anyone without risking touching on a sensitive subject! People usually speak about 'positive things' as it seen as socially acceptable, they usually don't want to talk about their personal lives and feelings with people they don't know really well, and I'd be far happier to hear about someones lovely new whatever than have them tell me how awful their lives are and how miserable they are.
I’d just let it go. Not worth getting in a stew!
I agree with Urmstangran! Goodness, some people on Gransnet have waaaaay too much time on their hands at the moment!
When this happens to me (which ist has), I just nod and smile and try to move the conversation on quickly. If she was bragging, you have the knowledge that it has not bothered you (and hopefully, she will not do it again} and if she were touting for business, then it has not worked. If you feel that she is bragging, just think "how silly" and let it wash over you in the knowledge that it will not affect you.
Like others have said perhaps she want you to ask about renting it and because of all this coronovirus she needs the money to keep it going
Or perhaps this lady was looking for sympathy because she could not go to her holiday home because of covid?
I find that people who boast are generally trying to make themselves feel less inadequate!
Maybe it isnwt boasting or bragging, just telling someone about something that gives her pleasure.My mother was accused many many years ago of bragging about her children's exam results, she was horrified and learnt ( the hard way) that others don't necessarily share your joy! A swift " somebody at the door " or " friend picking me up in 5 mins, gotta go" ...and think absolutely no more of it. Whoosh! Flushed away. Rise above it and don't let it annoy you. Very best wishes
I have a neighbour who has everything better than anyone else. Her family and children too. I listen, and forget it.
Maybe she was just excited and didn’t realise she was boring you. A lot of people are like that just going on an on about something you’ve already heard or have no interest in. I have a lovely friend who often says, “Do let me know if I’ve already told you.”
Jade Olivia (love the name) has a good way of dealing with it. Just let it go.
Do you know this kind of thing never bothers me in the slightest. If someone feels the need to impress me then I think that they must feel that they have to do this for some reason. Maybe she thinks quite highly of you. Have you thought about that? Because often people who brag about things are quite lonely and insecure and have a desperate need to make new friends. Maybe she thinks that if she tells you about what she has you will like and admire her. On the other hand there are people who brag because they need to fuel their own ego because they want to feel superior to others which again boils down to insecurity and low self esteem. On the other hand it could be as someone else has said she was hoping you would ask her if she rents it out. ( not bragging just using myself as a n example) As I have a holiday home and I am guilty of injecting the subject into a conversation if I think the other person maybe interesting in renting it. However I am more to the point. As in " I have a holiday home if you know anyone who wants a cheap holiday". Some people are not as straight forward as I am lol! Please try not to dissect everything people say. Just let it ride and don't let them get to you. Life is too short chick xxx
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