So disappointed.

I think I’d just check with the parents, that she received it. You never know...it could have gone awol in the post. How old is she? because you could ask her directly. Say you’re not worried, just checking, and then leave it up to her.

Highthere I sent the letter and photographs at the end of March .
I know she received it as her Dad has said so.

* Callistemon* I think we have the sort of relationship where she could say “No thanks”.

I sympathise, BB. DGC (and AC!) can be very ungrateful disappointing. Their lives are usually busier than ours, I suppose, so perhaps that accounts for it. Don't let it upset you.

I think if it was a while ago she was asked and hasn’t replied, I’d ask her parents if she wanted it, if not I’d pass it on to someone else who might like it, I do think it’s rude not to let you know one way or the other though

Just read that she received the letter in March, plenty of time to have let you know,

quizqueen do you have to practice at being unpleasant or does it come naturally? that’s the second harsh post I ve seen of yours today

I m in the queue of folk who think she hasn’t the skill to reject it and is probably a bit embarrassed I ve come to realise I can’t pass my beloved stuff on as what’s beloved to me isn’t to anyone else and I don’t think today’s generation keep stuff for sentimental reasons like we did, well they don’t in my family anyway, perhaps it’s just us
I would let it go and not call her out about it

I agree with the ones that think your gd doesnt know how to tell you.

I remember when my grandparents gave me presents and my experience does not extrapolate to this post at all.

I would call my grandparents to say thank you and a whole conversation about the present would entail- what I wanted to do with present, see pictures of me with the outfit, etc.

At some point, the pressure of the expectations was way too much for me and wished I didnt get anything instead.

Thank you ladies. On reflection and reading your advice , I will say nothing to her. Keep my disappointment to myself.

I’ve found that I get stuff out to show them and if they want it they will say so, if they say nothing then they obviously don’t want it.

As other posters have said our cherished possessions aren’t always appreciated by our kids.

Poor kid probably doesn’t want to upset you by saying No Thanks.

How old is your gd?

She is 14 Hithere and very, very bright .

the fact is in many cases, with gifts, or contacts, these things figure much larger in the lives of the older generation than the younger. on the whole.
the youngers' own lives are busier, for adults, or more interesting/fun, for children. the relative importance of things to do with oldies is quite different from the other end of the telescope. not that they would wish to offend or cause hurt.
but they just have other priorities. and they don't really grasp that time is passing.
and that when they have got the time to express their fondness, give attention to the oldies, it may be too late.

Sorry to say but I do feel a certain age group are like this, I think we have different priorities. My GD is not good at communication with her elders and needs nudging. I wouldn’t take it personally, I think because it meant a lot to you she may not understand how it played a part in your life.

When you 'wrote', do you mean paper,envelope,stamp? Or email? I rarely use post these days, especially if I want a message to get through.

Are you sure she got your letter? Phone instead is what I'd do, just in case.

ah! she is 14... I have an 11 year old gd.. who doesn`t reply, even though her mum helps her with emails

think some gc have too much?

The young are generally not sentimental and if your GD is in her teens she won't really be interested in gran's treasures. They just don't get it if at all until much later in life. My OH would love to have something belonging to his mum but only really thought about it in late years. Why not pop it back in the cupboard and wait, if she actually starts an art course it may be of interest then. When she says she is thinking about it, I reckon that means she doesn't know, is she living in a minimalist house by any chance? When you say you wrote I hope you meant a text or there is no chance of a reply

Yes she probably wishes you hadn’t asked. As she doesn’t want to say no but doesn’t really want it and if she said yes and hid it you would ask her if she was using it etc etc.
Of course you are hurt because it is yours and therefore valuable but..at the very least let her know that you understand that it might not be appropriate for her course and if it ever is to let you know. Give her a graceful way out. And forget it.

Oh BBbevan she's probably so busy as all young (and not so young) people are nowadays that she hasn't had the time to reply! I know it's not nice but they all do it! You could always text her and say please let me know about the box or l'll give to charity.

Some of the things we think they would like and be useful just are not I am afraid. It is just how it is. Your GD may not know how to say to you that she does not want it and does not want to hurt your feelings. I would leave it for now, put the box away somewhere for the time being and if she asks for it, then you can give it to her.

People generally seem less inclined to acknowledge receipt of a message. It may partly be due to Facebook messenger where one's profile picture serves as an acknowledgement that one's message has been seen so that there is no need for the recipient to lift a finger.... I have to tell myself, each time this happens, that the recipient probably accessed the message by phone when in a situ where they couldn't respond and then forgot.... It's hard to convince myself of that sometimes, though, when I need a response. It was a wee while before I realised that accessing messages by mobile can mean that people often don't see the whole message if it is more than one sentence. I then learned to put the key elements in the last sentence....

I would get rid of it and if she asks for it say, "Oh, I gave it to the charity shop when you didn't reply whether you wanted it or not. I had to get on with my spring-cleaning."

That might teach her to make up her mind quicker next time.

I would just Whatsapp her a message asking if she’d decided or not and that you wouldn’t be offended if she didn’t want it. Just let her know that you need to know as you d like to give it to a charity shop if she doesn’t want it.

Hi, because this is ‘outstanding’ and unresolved, so praying on your mind, I would try to settle it. Online communication would be better but if that isn’t your thing, I’d write again....maybe a little note card or something...saying you hope she is ok and as she wasn’t able to let you know, you’re about to find another home for the art equipment. If you don’t hear from her in the next week or so, you’ll assume she doesn’t want it...and you understand...Some might say this is too much when she’s behaved the way she has but you don’t know what’s going through her mind, or how life is for her personally....on top of which young people can be difficult without realising it...and I’m sure you love her whatever. I would reach out again and as hurtful as it is, not expect a reply.