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So disappointed.

(95 Posts)
BBbevan Wed 29-Jul-20 10:53:04

At the beginning of lockdown, and doing a big tidy up, I came across the art materials box my parents had given me, when I went to art school in 1960. It is wooden, bit battered but still very serviceable. My eldest GD is going down the ‘art’ route, so I wrote to her and asked her if she would like the box. I sent photographs. I also said that I realised it might not be to her taste but to let me know yes or no. I have heard nothing from her. Not even a ‘Thank you but no thank you Grandma’. DH says to just leave it, but I am so disappointed that she has not bothered to reply. What would you do?

Pantglas2 Wed 29-Jul-20 10:58:59

Leave it BBevan is probably the best response but put it to one side as later on she may ask about it, perhaps when she sees other students with something similar! And then it’ll be cool!

Marmight Wed 29-Jul-20 11:03:59

I’d probably give her parents a nudge and ask if GD has received your letter. If still no response, hang on to it if you want to, if not, give it to a charity shop

Kate1949 Wed 29-Jul-20 11:22:24

Maybe she didn't get the letter. The post is all over the place at the moment.

BBbevan Wed 29-Jul-20 11:23:19

I did ask my son a few weeks ago. He said “She is thinking about it”.
I really don’t mind if she doesn’t want it. But no reply !!!!!

NotSpaghetti Wed 29-Jul-20 11:27:39

Is it big? Does it have materials in it?
One of the exciting things about art materials when you are young is newness not heritage unfortunately.
Maybe she genuinely doesn't know what to say.

janeainsworth Wed 29-Jul-20 11:28:57

Can you text her & just say ‘I need to know if you want the box or not- I’ll chuck it out if you don’t’ & see what happens.
I’d feel disappointed too, but she may find a text easier to reply to.

NotSpaghetti Wed 29-Jul-20 11:30:32

Maybe she likes the idea of family but sees it (sorry) as junk?

I was given some materials and equipment by my husband's aunt when I was older than your granddaughter. It was not really something I wanted but I felt obliged to have it. I know you said "let me know"...

EllanVannin Wed 29-Jul-20 12:03:10

I'd have just handed it over/posted it and said nothing. The decision would then have been theirs. It wouldn't have been a big deal either way seeing as it had been stored for years.

quizqueen Wed 29-Jul-20 12:09:49

A lot of young people have bought up to be rude, entitled and ungrateful and here's one example of one!

quizqueen Wed 29-Jul-20 12:10:30

'have been brought'...not bought

Calendargirl Wed 29-Jul-20 12:30:49

My mum won a set of nice, brand new soup bowls in a raffle at a Scout concert when DS was about 10, and a scout.

When he and his girlfriend set up house together, about 15 years later, mum gave him this unused soup set, she liked the idea it had been from his concert.

I noticed some time later that one of the bowls had been used to mix paint in, obviously not required for their original purpose.

Only a little thing, I know, but mum would have been a bit hurt if she had known.

Greeneyedgirl Wed 29-Jul-20 12:46:02

BBbevan Why not start using it again yourself? Daft question perhaps but is it painting she is interested in because there are art courses that don’t do much painting?

I do Life drawing and was surprised that this is not done at all art schools these days.

BBbevan Wed 29-Jul-20 12:46:49

EllanVannin it hasn’t been stored for years. I used it a lot before we moved as I attended lots of art classes. Sadly there are none around here. I said I would fill it with new materials for her.

Iam64 Wed 29-Jul-20 13:05:52

Young people sometimes want what everyone else has. She may feel she can't simply reject your offer and is hoping you'll forget.
janeainsworth's idea of a text is a good one. My grown up grandchildren often respond to a text or facebook messenger - but not always. I don't take it personally. I know they love me and I certainly love them unconditionally.

Don't let it leave you feeling hurt, I'm sure that's not what she intends. I don't agree with the poster who dismisses your granddaughter as rude, entitled and ungrateful. How could this one episode have any one reach such a dreadful conclusion about a young woman they never met.

BBbevan Wed 29-Jul-20 13:16:38

My GD is wonderful and I love her to bits. I think I will leave it for a while. If she comes to stay this summer I may show her the box then

Orangerose Wed 29-Jul-20 13:18:15

It is rude to not even reply. No excuses, a quick yes please or no thank you is all that’s required. It’s bad manners pure and simple.

janeainsworth Wed 29-Jul-20 13:22:59

A lot of young people have bought up to be rude, entitled and ungrateful and here's one example of one!

Just carry on being as unpleasant about other people as you possibly can, Quizqueen

Hithere Wed 29-Jul-20 14:22:09

I feel that this is an offer that may have ruffled the feathers unless the gd had replied with the outcome that OP had expected.

Op is annoyed she didnt recieved a reply within a respectful timeframe she deemed reasonable.

Art supplies are very generic.
What does she like?
She may have enough supplies and doesn not want more.
She may be still thinking about it.
She may have higher tasks now to complete before she can focus on your offer

Is she as interested in arts as you think she is?

Life has sadly taught me that my offers may not be as well received as I intend them to, so what I offer, I do not expect anything back.
I put the offer out there and the ball is in their court.

Dont bring it up again, pick your battles.

BBbevan Wed 29-Jul-20 15:26:40

No Hithere. I did say to her that the decision was entirely hers. I just think she could have replied. It is bad manners not to

Hithere Wed 29-Jul-20 15:36:53

May I ask how long you sent the letter?

Callistemon Wed 29-Jul-20 15:41:27

She probably doesn't want it but doesn't want to hurt your feelings so is dithering about how to tell you.

AGAA4 Wed 29-Jul-20 16:05:20

My GD sometimes takes ages to reply. I would text her and say that it's fine if she doesn't want the art box and that it was just a thought but to let you know.

This would let her off the hook if she doesn't want to hurt you feeling by saying no.

Oopsminty Wed 29-Jul-20 16:11:15


She probably doesn't want it but doesn't want to hurt your feelings so is dithering about how to tell you.

Exactly what I was thinking

Starblaze Wed 29-Jul-20 16:13:50

I'm one of those people where I have learned over time that I must do now or I will forget. Children and teens who are even more easily distracted than I am definitely haven't learnt that lesson yet.

I really wouldn't take it too much to heart.

All sorts of things could be going on in her world we don't know about