Coming back to the UK after 45 years living abroad.

We’ve had overseas postings with my dh’s job and even though we still had a home in the UK and paid Council Tax and NI, we were deregistered from the NHS after a mere six weeks. To this day I don’t know how our surgery knew we’d left the country but all our notes were sent to a central depot and we were unable to get non-emergency NHS treatment.

Personally, in the BIL’s situation I think it’s better to stick with the devil you know. Finding your way round a system you last used 45 years ago will be one heck of a challenge, even with help. The massive change of circumstance could cause the BIL’s dementia to go over a cliff-edge and to be removed from children and grandchildren would be a terrible wrench. If they are ever to see their family again it would cost amounts of money for plane tickets that would be better used to mitigating their situation in SA.

Dual nationality is the way to go.

Gagajo, we live in our time. In the 50s all the racism etc was not seen as racism. I went to school there and got my first job there. I was not bothered about colour then, all I saw was difference. I never thought at all that things were unfair on black Africans, I was just a kid. It was accepted then. If you had gone there as a child (I was nearly 7 and had no choice ) you would have just accepted it. You are looking at it from the point of view of an elderly white British person.
Things are different in this country in the 2020s. , aren't they, yet there are still a lot of people here who would prefer it if their child does not marry a black person. You may be one of them. Racism is alive and kicking in Britain today yet most people deny that they are racist!

I agree Annaram1, there is so much which can't be measured by today's standards.

So, he hasn’t contributed anything as far as NHS contributions or Income Tax to this country for 45 years but he wants to come back now and reap the benefits of free medical care and it sounds like other benefits etc, etc. Much as I sympathise with his condition and nobody should have to go through that I’ve really got no sympathy for anybody who thinks that they can just walk back into this country and take, take, take.

Newatthis, so you want unhappy people who are old and British but live abroad to starve when they come back, instead of starving in a foreign country? You DON'T sympathise with his condition. Most of you don't know what the hell you are talking about!!! You are just jealous. Where is your charity? If you had lived in South Africa you might just have some.

Gagajo , good post. Incidentally, nobody should believe the rubbish (I want to use a much stronger word!) in the tabloids about immigrants in the UK. For example, an asylum seeker gets housing benefit, often for a hostel or B&B, and £37.75 per week for everything else. Not exbactly the lap of luxury.

Exactly, not exbactly!

GagaJo

I think the colonisation of Africa was wrong and any Westerners that emigrated there 45 years ago, in the 1970's WOULD have been taking advantage of the oppressive and racist apartheid regime. How is that NOT true? Please feel free to explain the point if I am completely wrong?

Yes, prioritising blacks now is positive discrimination. It is to make up for the positive discrimination of whites that your BIL enjoyed for years.

I would have a slightly different view if they were born there. An accident of birth is unavoidable and outside of our control. But to move somewhere as rampantly and violently racist in the 1970s means they actively participated in that system.

Someone I know decided that he wanted to go to an African country in the 1960s because he wanted to help Africans; he had qualified as a teacher and went out under the GVSO scheme, fell in love with the country and with a local girl. He eventually became headmaster of a school which educated boys. Perhaps that was discriminatory. I think the majority of pupils were black and they may not have received such a good education if people like him did not go out there to teach.
However, unfortunately, they felt unsafe there after many years of work and bringing up their family but were young enough to come back here and start afresh.
Was he exploiting? I don't think so. He was educating and helping those boys to fill their potential.

He could have got a job in an expensive private school here or on the Continent, but he wanted to be where he thought he could do most good, not earn most money.

I have a couple of other friends who went out under the GVSO scheme too. Exploiting or educating?

I know this is not what you want to hear, but why should UK be OK now that your brother needs the NHS, but was not good enough for him for 45 years?

I would hazard a guess kitty that you are sorry you started this thread.
Do people not read properly.
Kitty was wondering what the situation would be, if and only if, her BiL deteriorated to a state where his wife could not cope.
I expect their family will step up and not let this happen.

I think the point is: They are your family and you want to help them in their hour of need.
Is there enough money in the family and accommodation for them so they don't have to rely on the State?
(if the messages on here are anything to go by, many reactions will be hostile)
Age UK or similar agencies may offer advice, from experience.
I hope they get happily settled somewhere.

I wondered that too, annsixty

There are many and complex expressions why people go to live and work abroad.
Not everyone who lived and worked in an African country should be labelled a racist advocate of apartheid. So many were not, especially those not born ypthe.

The situation in SA has changed quickly and quite dramatically in some areas and it is quite worrying.

I typed 'reasons', not expressions.
And ' there'

Apologies.

In 1975 when we were offered a position in Johannesburg, we told a friend we were going to SA to live. Wish yaw'll could have heard her then! On and on she went about oppressive regimes, apartheid etc. etc. Half an hour bending my ear in a state of fury. When asked whether she had actually been there and could speak from experience, she told me she had never been further than Calais for a day trip! Speaks volumes.

Annaram1

Gagajo, we live in our time. In the 50s all the racism etc was not seen as racism. I went to school there and got my first job there. I was not bothered about colour then, all I saw was difference. I never thought at all that things were unfair on black Africans, I was just a kid. It was accepted then. If you had gone there as a child (I was nearly 7 and had no choice ) you would have just accepted it. You are looking at it from the point of view of an elderly white British person.
Things are different in this country in the 2020s. , aren't they, yet there are still a lot of people here who would prefer it if their child does not marry a black person. You may be one of them. Racism is alive and kicking in Britain today yet most people deny that they are racist!

Annaram, my AC is mixed race, so is my GC. I married a black American in 1981, so no, I don't and never have seen people of different colours as different. It is melanin to me. Nothing more. I felt this way 40 years ago.

You are right that many people are racist. Very sad and ignorant.

I have this year had a black SA scholarship student. She spoke very movingly about the rape and pillage of her country by a violent white minority. She has a very different perspective to those of the white invaders. Incidentally, she rose through the ranks of the very exclusive school she attends and is now head girl. All based on merit.

It is very sad that the OP has family she is worried about.

I'm glad you read the thread properly ann and I got some good replies before it got a bit silly! Thank you

callistemon good posts.

Thank you to all the people who got my op and didnt make huge assumptions.

Callistemon, anyone that benefitted from apartheid was racist.

I feel as if I've entered a parallel universe on this thread! Did any of you watch the news during the overthrow of apartheid? Did you support the fight of Nelson Mandela?

There are many and complex reasons why people go to live and work abroad.
Exactly callistemon, and many prejudices in all countries. When we bought abroad the lawyer, representing the country, said to us while we signed the documents, we white English were ok, it was the Africans they didn't want. My husband didn't have enough command of the language to voice his disgust.

My bil and his wife did gaga and rejoiced with the rest of the world and with hope for the country they love.. Turned out well didn't it?

If you read the thread you would see that they cant actually get 10 miles down the road to see their son and grandchildren because of all the black people protesting against the corrupt government. This has the unfortunate effect of stopping their son coming to help his parents.

Also, it is ridiculous to suggest that any one who went to SA was racist. That is just narrow minded prejudice.

I really don't see any problem in allowing anyone to return. If my family wanted to return to the UK, having lived/worked longer in Aus. then I'd go all out to help them. It's not a big deal is it ? They wouldn't be depriving anyone else of their dues etc. nor would it affect anyone.

I'm glad I don't have a family such as those who object, I couldn't live with a conscience. Your own family ? Good grief.

Really? A country where black people were routinely treated as sub-human, banned from certain areas, forcibly removed from their native land and had their assets stripped from them. While white immigrants were given every privilege.

I wonder how you'd feel if black immigrants were welcomed to the uk, white people were thrown out of their homes and brutally murdered if they complained. If white people were told they were 3rd class citizens, beneath black and coloured.

GagaJo I am not defending apartheid one little bit but all the different tribes also hated each other, and probably still do, I don't know, so the situation was never as clear cut as you seem to think. I spent time in South Africa so I saw it and experienced it for myself.

I sympathise and understand that kitty was asking about a difficult family problem, and wondering if the UK could help. That’s totally natural, because it’s her family. We all would move heaven and earth to help our families. I certainly would, and I think all of you would too.

However, that doesn’t change my feelings about people who emigrate, pay no taxes or insurance to Britain for most of their working life, and then want to return to use our NHS, which is on its knees after Coronavirus, and anticipating another winter spike. People have had appointments cancelled, cancer treatments cancelled, surgeries cancelled etc. We do not need people coming into the country to use avail themselves of NHS care, when they have spent most of their lives in other countries.

Additionally, whilst I’m sure everyone would agree that the apartheid is vile, and thankfully long gone, it cannot be said that the vast majority of people who emigrated to SA, did so to benefit the South African people. They went for the good life. And now life is not so good, many have returned. This does not apply to children born out there. They made no conscious choice in the matter.