Nanny or Grandma

Whatever tradition dictates or whatever you want to be called matters not a jot. It is your daughter's decision in the long run. Maybe just ask her what she thinks is the best name for her baby to call you when it is older. Whatever she says, just go with it and you might find that things get better when she thinks she can't beat you with it. Give her another couple of years to mature and you'll probably find that she becomes more thoughtful as she is still at that age where emotions and empathy are very fluid.
If you can't get any resolution as to your title, just enjoy the baby. You are in a very good position to build up a good bond and name's are nothing compared to that.

Nannan2

'Grandma' or Gran is by tradition used for the maternal side- the baby's mum's own mother.The term 'Nanna' ,or nan,nanny,is traditionally given to the paternal side- the baby's Dads own mother.Maybe that's why your daughter said she won't call you that? But then that wouldn't explain why she's using 'grandma' for her boyfriends mum?- Has the boyfriends parents been asked what they prefer? (Grandad/grandpa is same whichever side) Or were the names used by chance first by the boyfriend? Next time they come round, stand next to them and wave a hand between you &other 'gran' and say "well what name AM i having then?just so we can differentiate between us both??" Explain about the traditional 'Nanna/Grandma' labels, and let her decide then, you might be surprised to find the boyfriends mum prefers the traditional 'nanna/nan/nanny' and is happy to swap. Or if not ask your daughter outright what the little one IS going to call YOU then? Has your DD always called you 'mum/mother' or does she refer to you by your first name at all? That could be the crux of it.As others have said, the child, once speaking may well have its own 'special' name for you- as kids we used the traditional names, but my sister couldn't say it so called our mums mum 'gran' & our dads mum "grammy"- i myself have sons kids who call me Nanna and 2 Daughters kids call me Grandma.Try not to let it spoil this time for you, but you DO need to know how to refer to yourself, or for others to refer to you, regarding your GC, as years down the line it will be too much of a mouthful (if youve to ring school for example?) "Oh, im 'so&so's (childs name)mums mum!"

When we first met the other Grandparents I said ‘Congratulations how do you want to be known’ she said ‘Grandma and we’re just going to call you Grandma Jo’ so it sounded like it had already been decided

I wanted to be Nana to my first grandson 20 years ago but somehow he naturally called me nanny which I loved. 10 dgc and step dgc later I'm nanny to all of them except the oldest who now calls me nan. Leave it to them to choose.

'My mum was known as Great Granny no hair' after my young niece named her so. She and my granddaughter named her so after discovering th a t she was bald (having cancer treatment). They loved visiting her and contrary to our fears, the tiddlers were fascinated and couldn't start to stroke her head and shower her with kisses. Within a very short period we ALL referred to Mum as GGNH, and for many the fear of cancer began to reduce and we could all talk about it.

My point is that in my experience your grandchild will find her own name for you, and that name will become a very special name linked to your relationship. Can't be any worse than mine......Grandma whisper (I lost my voice for over a year)!

tanith

It matters not what ‘name’ they call you, you’ll develop your own relationship with her and a ‘title/name will evolve naturally I’m sure. My lot call me Nanny,Grandma and a new name for my GrtGC they are now calling me Gaga I don’t care what they call me as long as they call me.
Just enjoy your new GD and don’t fret about this.

Well said Tanith How lovely you are a GGma. (Love Gaga)!

Dear CrochetJo, My mum refused absolutely to have any of the options to define her grandmother role. She just wanted the children to use her name. Of course, saying ‘Barbara’ was too tricky for them as toddlers, so she became Barbar. It stuck so well that they never changed it, even long after they could pronounce her name correctly. All their little friends and friends’ parents called her Barbar too. When she died in April, aged 91, I had so many messages of condolence, still using that affectionate nickname. They remembered her kindness, her warmth, her sense of humour, her cooking..... Relationships are about so much more than a label. I’m sure yours will be close and loving. Enjoy being in her life.

My 6 year old granddaughter calls me Nanny Plum. Her idea of course!!

Sorry it should read
Other grandparent had older grand children ?

I always wanted to be Gran, my grandson's other grandparent was Nanna as had older grandparents but my grandson never called my gran it was always nanna, I've learnt to live with it lol and am now 'nanna"to 3

When my mother became a grandmother she took the name of Min - it's a character in The Goons which my brother-in law loves and Mum was Min to all her grandchildren and she loved the name . Could you find a name for yourself that is maybe unique and it fits you?

Congratulations Crochetjo on becoming a Grandparent ?
Yes you have the right to be upset, your feelings are valid. As you mentioned the other Grandparents all have their names and are recognised and included. It sounds like you have been very supportive of your Daughter, her partner and of course your new little Granddaughter, offering them a home. You have also welcomed your Daughters partners family in to your home. I can understand how hurt you must feel when your Daughter refused for you to be called Nanny when it means so much too you. If this is something that your Daughter is adamant on her Daughter not calling you this, can you come to a compromise. You might have to accept that your not going to be called Nanny but something else. The important thing is, not what you are called but being the best loving Grandparent you can be. I had my heart set on being Grandma, but my little step Grandaughter at the time was too young to understand why I was now Grandma when in her mind I wasn’t Grandma she had her Grandma. I decided on Gran ( wasn’t overly keen at first) but I couldn’t bare her being upset about it and so confused, more importantly focused on being the best Grandparent I could. Now, I absolutely love being called Gran, my life lights up when my Granddaughter and my Grandson say it, but they could of called me anything and I still would feel this way. Please try and talk to your Daughter, tell her you understand that she doesn’t like Nanny and ask if yous can come up with something else, maybe she could give you a few choices and you could pick, or maybe you Daughter will come around to you being called Nanny, if she feels she is more in control. I do hope yous can talk and sort this out, it is very important to you, and whatever you are going to be called, you will come to love it, I’m sure. Enjoy your new Granddaughter ?

I have always been gran to all my GC. As was my mum to my children. Am now great gran. Shortened to GG which I love. You will find a way am sure

My DD MIL wanted to be Grandma, which was fine by me as I didn't! I have been Nanny to my three grandchildren, it gets shortened to Nan, Nanna and spelt Nannie sometimes by them, doesn't matter! Don't let it upset you now, your new GC is too young to know what to call you and things might well change over the next year so you could be getting upset about nothing in the end. What has your DD suggested you be called instead? Whilst baby is too little to notice you could just go along with it and then gradually introduce the idea of yourself as Nanny in the months ahead. My children had two Grans, they were distinguished when talking about them as being Gran Mary and Gran Eileen. All Eileen's other GC called her Granma (no D) but she never mithered about mine calling her Gran. At the end of the day you will have a lovely loving relationship with your new GC whatever you are called by family, treasure that time, it goes by so quickly!

Why not suggest something completely different CrochetJo? My Mum has always been Nanny to our two, our Granddaughters call us Gigi (Glamorous or grey Grandma!) and Pa which is lovely.

What name does she want you to be called? Has she come up with a name even? My first grandchild started calling me nanny but that soon became nannio through her own choice and it has now stuck , my second grandchild now calls me this too and I love it, I think your daughter is being insensitive while you have gone above and beyond for them x

With four ACs all starting families, it was impossible to have names which didnt clash with....the other...grandparents. I did suggest just using first names, but they were all horrified, so christmas cards have to have triple signatures...mum and dad for ACs, first names for other halves, and Grandma/Grandpa for grandchildren.
First names would be so much easier now the GCs are all teenagers, but noone is bothered about any mistakes!

No matter what you would like to be called or what your daughter decrees you should be known as, you may find in time that your grandchildren come up with their own names for you anyway! I was grandma initially but I have a terrible habit of ‘snorting’ when I laugh, and I laugh a lot with my grandsons, so they have re-christened me ‘Pigma’!! Not terribly elegant and takes some explaining to other people but I think it’s hilarious (snort!). My husband was called Eee for some reason when our youngest grandson was learning to talk so is, to this day, known as Eee! It’s only a name, just enjoy your granddaughter and in time she may find her own name for you.

Your daughter is very young and is probably finding it hard to cope with all that a new baby entails. Suggest you do not force the issue - does it really matter what you are called as long as you develop a good relationship with your grandchild? You are fortunate to be around the the baby all the time and be there to assist if necessary. Give the young family space and let it all evolve naturally!

When my granddaughter was born, I said I would like to be called Garnie; its a sort of anagram of Granny and yet a little different. I like it; sometimes the children call me Granny by accident but I don’t correct them.
My daughter and son-in-law waited until their babies were born before announcing their choice of names, which I think is a good idea as at that point it is difficult for anyone with an axe to grind over names to quibble once the baby is safely in its cot.

5 pages about something and nothing.
You have a healthy grandchild and she has healthy parents.

Be glad of what you do have instead of overshadowing your new little baby time with worries about what you'll be called.

I have been much criticised over 14 years of grandmotherhood for choosing to be Nanny, quite rudely a couple of times. I didn’t want to be Grandma (my mother and grandmother) or Granny (my MIL and other grandmother).

Nanny is the dearest name when said by my darling grandchildren.

Would your daughter prefer Nana perhaps *CrochetJo” or is that worse? NannyJo even?

Try not to get upset by it all and enjoy your new grandchild. Just ask you DD or her partner what they would like you to be called. If you asked her a while ago while she was pregnant she may not actually remember saying no to you being called Nanny or saying it is a nasty way. My DD was the first to have a child and so we talked about it. We decided on Nanny and Pop as that was what we called our maternal grandparents and they were amazing. Little one though when he was able to talk used Pop-pops and it has stuck now for all grandchildren on my side of the family. DH has a grandchild from his DS who he doesn't hear from or see and he just puts from Grandad in his birthday or christmas cards. There are two 'grandads' though for DD/ SiL family that are just referred to by their Christian names. Complicated situation and the decision of the parents to NOT use affectionate 'grandad, grampy or other names for them. Bottom line through is just ask your daughter and partner again asap and then put it to rest.

When your granddaughter is old enough she will give you a name from the heart, you will have a great relationship with her because she is being brought up in your home.
My mum has always been Nanna and my Nanna became Nanna2, which she loved. It's been 10 years since she passed and she is still referred to as Nanna2.
Names have a way of finding you and being just right.

My eldest grandson called me mema until he was about 5 then he switched to grandma. We were grandma and grandad to our younger grandchildren until one day we changed to grandpa and granny, because that’s what the grandparents on Peppa pig were called. Our great grandson calls us grandma and grandpa.
I guess what I am saying is that even though we all have ideas of what we would like to be called, and I do see how it would be upsetting not to be given a name, names can change and no matter what your new granddaughter calls you it will be a name she calls you with love

Or if your daughter usually calls you your own first name what about using 'grannyJo' when you speak directly to the baby? It might catch on with your daughter too.?