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Nanny or Grandma

(189 Posts)
Maggiemaybe Sun 09-Aug-20 08:44:50

I only came on here out of interest to see how long it would be before we got the usual comments about Nanny and Nanna being a goat or the hired help.

I wonder if the people who say it actually mean to be so rude? grin

CrochetJo Sun 09-Aug-20 08:43:34

Jaxjacky my late stepmum she hated Nanna or Granny she liked Nan

Grandma70s Sun 09-Aug-20 08:30:38

Unfortunately it is a social indicator. To the middle and upper classes, a nanny/nana is, as Jaxjacky’s mother said, a hired help/ nursemaid. It’s not a word for grandmother.

Jaxjacky Sun 09-Aug-20 08:25:43

My mother always hated nanny, she said a nanny is hired help!! She was Grandma, as am I.

CrochetJo Sun 09-Aug-20 08:20:56

Thank you for this cornergran. Although I understand it’s early days since the baby was born it’s been months since she’s been saying ‘I’m not calling you that’, and I have been excited about hearing the words ‘this is your Nanny’.
My Daughter only ever had one living Grandmother which is on my side, although not close (she handed custody of me to my Dad when I was little) she was ‘Nanna’ but my children haven’t had a proper relationship with her so she didn’t want that phrased used.

Goodbyetoallthat Sun 09-Aug-20 08:12:58

I agree with previous posters it is very early days & your "name" will evolve when your granddaughter starts speaking.
It was intended that I would be called nanny however my 3 year old granddaughter calls me " nanno" with a heavy emphasis on the "o" which tends to sound rather disapproving!!?. Don't let it spoil things.

cornergran Sun 09-Aug-20 08:00:18

Let things settle, crochetjo, I can understand you feeling upset but very early days yet. Tanith is right. Your relationship with your granddaughter won’t be dependent on a name. What did your daughter call her grandmother(s)? Could it be as simple as her not liking ‘nanny’ for some reason? Or alternatively wanting to keep the term for them? Try to relax about it, time will sort this one I’m sure. Congratulations on becoming a grandparent, please don’t let this spoil things.

CrochetJo Sun 09-Aug-20 07:54:11

Thank you Kittylester, I am new

CrochetJo Sun 09-Aug-20 07:53:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kittylester Sun 09-Aug-20 07:48:03

Welcome to gn if you are new.

Urmstongran Sun 09-Aug-20 07:42:17

Storm in a teacup. Sounds like underlying issues at play here anyway.

tanith Sun 09-Aug-20 07:34:22

It matters not what ‘name’ they call you, you’ll develop your own relationship with her and a ‘title/name will evolve naturally I’m sure. My lot call me Nanny,Grandma and a new name for my GrtGC they are now calling me Gaga I don’t care what they call me as long as they call me.
Just enjoy your new GD and don’t fret about this.

jenpax Sun 09-Aug-20 07:32:58

It’s a bit early to be getting upset by this to be honest, baby is less than a week old! Let things settle down and see how it goes. Your DD is very young and was pregnant/ hormonal when you discussed this so I would give her some time to adjust to being a mum!

CrochetJo Sun 09-Aug-20 07:27:31

When my 18 year Daughter became pregnant I asked if I could be known as Nanny (her partner’s Mum is fine with being called Grandma) but my Daughter quite nastily said ‘I’m not calling you that’ and has flatly refused to say the word since. I let her boyfriend move in with us so they could bring up their Daughter together and have welcomed his parents into our home, but in the 5 days since my Granddaughter has been born I’ve heard them call my Husband and her partner’s Dad ‘Grandad’ and his Mum as ‘Grandma’ but nothing towards me. I spent most of yesterday secretly crying because I’m upset that my Granddaughter won’t know what my relationship is to her. Am I right to be upset?